The most important thing I realized is that painful breakups, unrequited love, shitty jobs and the like help us to BUILD CHARACTER and that no matter how bad it feels, we are much better off because of it. Sometimes you have to stand alone to make sure you can. Forget what you want to remember what you deserve.You may not end up where you thought you'd be, but you'll always end up where you were meant to be. You can either let these bad things, define you, destroy you or strengthen you. Fight through it like a warrior. Greater things are to come.

Thursday, August 27, 2009


holy crap
as i did my usual stalkings tonight i came across and realized/noticed something.

What goes around, Comes around

I mean, it is kind of obvious and so cliche but holyshit @#$% seriously. Better watch/edit what you say because karma will come back and bite you in the ass.
In my case, it came back and bit mine. If you're interested, ask me about it.

gah. FAK.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

where are you oh-interesting blogs

its so hard to find a good blog to read nowadays
no wonder i'm lacking inspiration

oh and i dreamt tall j and jennut turned me into a vampire last night (because they were both vampires). i think Twilight has finally caught up with my dreams since i've been re-reading Eclipse and now Breaking Dawn. sighs. Too bad it wasn't Edward Cullen that bit me. i think that would have been more of an erotic dream more than anything else. giggle giggle kekekeke. SIGHS.

dammit. lol i need to see more people instead of socializing with vampires...on paper and in my brain.

Monday, August 24, 2009


I was looking through some of my pictures on facebook during my "break" today and noticed how much nicer my skin was a year or two ago. It was literally pimple-free, pores looked minimized and blemish-free, hmm maybe a few freckles here and there- something i can totally cope with. Today, my face is oily, blotchy, red, full of pimples and worst of all- scars and blemishes all over my cheeks. I am not exaggerating either (seeing i have a tendency to) but i'm almost confident that people do notice a change but are just polite and not bring it up in fear it might hurt my feelings (it probably will, so please don't mention it because i don't like it when people state the obvious).

The other day when i was spending time with my lonesome self, i decided to go and get a "Deep Cleansing Facial" at a spa. I've never been one to actively suggest going to get a facial or anything like that but i don't know what got into me and thought why not....i'm bored, LX was on-call for cooking and doing chores (while his parents partied lol) and i had a couple of bucks to spare.

Anyways so i got that, and kind of regret it the moment i looked in the mirror. The lady didn't exactly "explain" to me what she was going to do to my face but rather just emphasized the benefits of getting it. Clearly i was sold thus i told her to go ahead. She did the usual cleansing, steaming, exfoliation, EXTRACTION and so on. Yeah, um i forgot to ask exactly what was a facial "extraction" until she began poking and probing my face with her "Pimple-Killing" tools which consisted of a pimple-poking needle and some other smaller contraption that was used to push against my skin until the "stuff" from underneath my skin would explode onto the surface. It was the most painful thing my face has ever endured to a point i wanted to cry but i told myself- this will work, this will "help" clear my face. In the middle of the extraction she mentioned that my face will be pretty "Swollen" and "Red" but that's normal after the extraction/facial. Okay, as if the red warning flags weren't waving frantically and my inner minions weren't screaming CAUTION already- i told myself that it will be okay, i just need to live through this and i can have clear skin b/c I am pretty desperate right now. No doubt after the facial was complete my skin was SUPER smooth and soft but the red, blotchy spots were just TERRIBLE and alarming. Its only been a couple a days and it has SOMEWHAT calmed down, but the spots are still there. I am PRAYING to the higher being that this will really work and it will all be "calmed down" by next week.

I guess what this whole bitch rant/whine comes down to is, people (whether guys or girls) really shouldn't take "good" skin for-granted. Through highschool (aside from the early adolescent years) and the first few years of university, i thought i was blessed with good skin. Good skin that didn't need all that cleansing shit and lotion, and such good skin, friends would tell me i have "perfect" skin and i should shut my trap whenever i complained about a pimple on my chin. I took it for-granted and now its taken away from me due to my lack of "gratitude" i guess, lack of maintenance and pure carelessness. I feel nasty, i'm horribly disgusted with the state my skin is in, i feel fat, i feel ugly.

It's one of those life lessons and mistakes where i'm not going to allow my future daughter to make. I swear the minute she turns 10, im going to make her start cleansing her face for the rest of her life. It is absolutely something that i regret not doing and now it's really too late.

I've been meaning to call a couple of friends to get together since i've been lazy and neglected ALOT of people, and also call out the GCM girls b/c i miss them. But with this skin problem that has become much more severe lately, i'm quite hesitate in going anywhere in general because i don't like leaving the house feeling and looking like shit. I don't want to cover it up with foundation/powder because i feel like im just suffocating my skin with more stuff hence i go to work looking like crap. but nobody cares at work so its okay (thank god). I mean unless its absolutely necessary, i will cover it up. But then l'll just feel like 2 weeks worth of eating/drinking healthy, doing home masks and sleeping early will go to waste. The mister has been quite supportive and helping me research articles on the net on tips and remedies i can do to help improve the state my skin is in. Other than that, i'm not really feeling too great at the moment.

IN CONCLUSION, all this just means i will be in hiding until my face clears up/is presentable. This sentence is pretty vague because one might ask- what if your skin never clears up? Yeah, that willl become quite a problem wouldn't it, hm I will figure it out once i get to that point. This would also explain my absence on MSN (also because MSN STILL doesn't work on my laptop and logging in onto MEEBO is a drag.) and my lack of social updates on facebook because i have truly turned into a hermit once again.

Good night to you all.

Saturday, August 22, 2009

alien activist

Alright so the mister and i, and his two bff went to see District 9 last night. The movie had an awesome 89% rating on, and appraisal from a handful of people on my facebook AND its directed/produced (not sure which one) by Peter's gotta be good.

Um, surprisingly i felt like the movie was overrated. Not saying that it wasn't good because it was quite good and i really enjoyed myself (the random transformer robot part was too awesome), but i'm not sure if it was 89% good lol I think the reason why im on the fence on this one is because i don't like anything that has to do with abuse, cruelty, families being split apart and the movie is pretty much all about that lol The movie is basically about the US Government keeping the aliens on earth to try to learn and steal their weapons/technology meanwhile all the aliens just want to go home. It's pretty messed-up to see how the government would do anything (torture, experiments, etc.) to obtain and understand how to use alien "technology" for them to use for their own warfare (if thats sucha word) purposes. I walked out of the movie sadden and pissed off with how humans treated the prawns (thats what the aliens were called in the movie). No species deserve to be tortured and experimented, whether it be fictitious or not lol

I remember in one of my past xanga entries, i wrote up a similar entry on how i hate movies that has to do with hate, cruelty and torture and i would end up hating the people that were the evil culprit. The example i used was, i once watched this movie documentary on the British robbing China's Imperial Garden/Palace and all this sick shit happen (murder, robbery, rape, torture). After that, i hated white people for a week. I remember i saw a white couple walking down the street like half an hour after i finished the movie, i wanted to go run after them with a powerdrill. Then another time i watched this World War II movie on how the Japanese was torturing/murdering/raping the Chinese. Again, i hated Japanese people for another week and refused to eat sushi for a good while. Now in the case of District 9, i hate humans. We are a cruel and greedy species. Shame on us.

& this is why i cant watch movies like that.


Friday, August 21, 2009

The Time Travelers Wife

I finished reading The Time Travelers Wife last night and to my dismay, I did not cry as much as I intended/wanted to (it didn’t stop me from calling lx sobbing though haha). I remembered I cried like a baby when I first read A Walk to Remember and I expected pretty much the same thing with this novel. I was a little bit disappointed but nonetheless I enjoyed the love story, and the concepts and themes that are applicable to the novel (that sounded lame).

Just a general synopsis (even though everyone knows what its about) , the story is about a man (Eric Bana in the movie) who has a genetic disorder that causes him to "time travel" against his own will. What that means is he can't really "control" when he disappears/reappears and where to (past or future). Its even more strange because when he time travels he leaves behind anything that is not a part of his body, meaning he'll show up naked 101% of the time. It's a little "weird" but it worked out for the story lol Anyways he meets his wife (Rachel McAdams) for the FIRST time when she's 6 and he's 43 (i believe), but fast-tracking to the present, he doesn't officially meet her until he's 28 and shes 20. If that makes ANY sense at all, it would mean for the first 28 years of his life, he does not know she existed until she meets him but vice versa, she has actually known of his existance since the age of 6........get it? No i didn't think so. lol ANYWAYS, the story jumps back and forth from the female protanganist to the male, from year to year, age to age and in the end, everything simply connected.

As flawed as the story sounds, and as much discussion there is to the concept that was invented in the story- bottomline was that it was good lol. Even though there was honestly way too much “love making” scenes, I loved how real the author tried to make the characters be.
What I mean was, [SPOILER WARNING] the author did not at all try to sugar-coat the birth scene. Normally on TV, movies and novels they tend to skimp out on the details of what goes on when a woman goes into labor. What I particularly loved about this portion of the story was there was no discretion or sugar-coating. You see the female protagonist totally losing it, she’s swearing her ass off, the husband is all tense and nervous, there was sweat, and there was pain that you could feel jump out at you (before and after the birth).

For someone like me who wants a family (and as everyone in high-school said, l’ll have a whole farm of kids haha), I am not at all reminded of how much PAIN I must endure in order to have one because everything is just so-easy on tv. Especially for someone like me who is particularly sensitive to pain, my best friend wonders how im going to do it haha

That said, I’m glad to read a love story that does not skimp out on (or completely eliminate) the pain and heartaches that must be endured in order to give meaning to love and intensify a relationship. (Also because it was oh-so romantic and who doesn’t love romance? kekekkkeekke)

I think I WILL be watching the movie version (despite reviews, ratings, jennuts advisory lol), hopefully with my bff. I don’t know if I can cry in front of her though. I remember we both were watching something super sad in highschool and I wasn’t able to cry for some reason ahhaha oh, and also her and twin has a thing where they enjoy making fun of me when I cry to really stupid things (i.e. Remember when #9 was hung/executed and died?!?! In some old TVB drama- yeah, that one didn’t die for YEARS) lollllll Also I love Rachel McAdams and Eric Bana is seductive in his own manly-special way.

Yay. Now onto The Host!

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

I Want to live in the States

Just so i can get this:

Ahh!!!!! TOO CUTE!
Now i don't really know why Pi-Chin Wing (as seen on the card) would take a picture of her credit card and not edit out her name and the first 12 digits of her VISA. But to also load it on the internet for everyone who googles HELLO KITTY BANK CARD to see....i dunno man. haha but hey whatever floats her boat right haha it works for me even though it is still high-risk a financial-ish kind of way.

haha i can't get over it, i love it so much. I wonder if there's any way i can get it (aside from immahi-gating to the states). hehehehe

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

i miss blogging

I was doing my usual stalkings through facebook during work just now and I somehow stumbled across pictures of a wedding my friend attended. I think I officially found the place where I want to have my wedding reception at. TEHEHEHEHE I wonder if people are willing to drive to Woodbridge for my wedding? TEHEHEHEHE

P.S I haven't been blogging much and i truly miss blogging but i find it so hard to drag myself to the computer to type something when all i do now during my evenings is taking care of my skin and teeth (haha) or reading (the Time Traveler's Wife) or both! That or i am out and i come back home exhausted and want to crawl into my big comfy bed.

Couple of random thoughts since I'm here.
  • Last weekend i got smashed at a Boat Cruise Birthday Party. It was so awesome because it was not the type where i had to hold my hair back and puke in the toilet that leads to a massive hangover the next day, but rather the type where i was on such a great buzz and was extremely loud and rowdy.
  • I loved my dress and again, i think i pulled it off with the make-up....i THINK i am improving. But i still need someone to show me how to actually put on bronzer and someone to actually give me some critique on my "techniques"....or at least give me an honest opinion on how i look.
  • The moment i saw the boat (AURORA BOREALIS) on the dock i knew it was going to be a great night because there was a live steel drum band playing like Calypso music, or at least thats what it sounded like.
  • The night was absolutely terrific except for the part where i missed dessert (cupcakes and cake!!!!!!)
  • The music was too west indie for me as much as i enjoy old school soca...but perfect for everyone else who was there haha

  • Got my nails done with my cousin over the weekend too. Brunch @ a Greek Restaurant and then fast nails @ Urban Nails on the danforth

  • As ghetto, simple and unorthodox as it is- i LOVE it =D (My boss gave me the i am weird-look when i explained to him why only the tips are black)


  • It was my cousin T's wedding this weekend over in Edmonton. I wish i was able to go but financials have me stuck in Toronto so congratulations to him and my new cousin-in-law. Hopefully i can see them soon b/c i owe him a lot for driving me around Edmonton (to get to bars and bbt shops) when i last visited.
  • More and more in love with the NEW MOON movie as i watch more trailers and videos of the cast (in particular Jacob <3333>
  • I am in total fall-shopping mode. Someone's gotta hold me back
  • The mister is still sick...and that makes me sad because i cant bring him food : (

Okay back to work. pwahha

Thursday, August 13, 2009

i use to be funny

exactly what the title says.
im re-reading old xanga entries and i find myself to be more comical and entertaining over there while over here @ blogspot i'm just repetitive and lame.


Breaking it Down (Brought to you by Manilajones)

On Xanga, i subscribe to this guy name manilajones because i love reading everything he has to say. i swear this guy is the funniest guy on the face of this earth. I don't remember how i found his blog but i was one of those crazy bitches that went back and read EVERY single entry he wrote and laughed like a maniac as i went through them all (Pls don't be scard). In particular, he is also a STARBUCKS addict- so i can relate to his weekly Tuesday Tales @ Starbucks. lol Anyways, he wrote this super awesome entry that i just HAD to share. It's titled:

Xanga Sluts and Attention Whores
[ Just change the words XANGA to blogger/livejournal/wordpress/typepad/etc/and etc ]
[ Again, i did not write this. This is just a PORTION of the entry. I give absolutely all credit to manilajones so if he ever reads this and think i stole his stuff, no. i did not steal your stuff manilajones. & if you dont like me sharing it then i can take it off at your request ]

Like a standard-issue whore, a blog-whore wants attention in exchange for blog entries. There are people in the blogosphere whose sole motivation for blogging is to get people to notice them. These are the harlots who openly say that they blog for their readers and not for themselves. These are the people who chronicle their thoughts, but feel their thoughts are worthless if they don’t receive comments. However, this doesn’t necessarily mean that their blogs are any good. In many cases, these blog entries are cheap, lifeless, boring, and uninspired. A blog-whore doesn’t necessarily enjoy blogging; they just want the attention. And like a prostitute who operates on referrals, a blog-strumpet likes to say things like, “If you like this, then please rec!”

Every blogger has an ego, but not every blogger craves attention. In the house of Xanga, there are essentially and objectively two types of bloggers who blog a lot: There are (1) those who blog for comments and there are (2) those who don’t. You are either (1) a whore or (2) a slut; there is no in-between. If you’re someone who blogs because you’re addicted to the attention it brings to you, then you’re a blog-whore (1). If you blog for your audience because you love the way they make you feel, then you’re a blog-streetwalker (1). If your singular ambition in Xanga is to make it into the Top Blogs whorehouse, then you’re a blog-prostitute (1). But, if you’re someone who gives it up easily and blogs for no other ulterior motives, then you’re a blog-slut (2). If you blog for no reason other than to fulfill your insatiable libido to post a blog entry, then you’re a blog-skank (2) (and possibly need therapy).

PWAHHAHA. Well written! I could not have articulate it any better myself (actually i reallly can't. i do a poor job of articulating my thoughts, let alone organizing it in an entertaining way)
You can visit him at manilajones@xanga dot com

Monday, August 10, 2009

A Writer's Craft

I really should be heading to sleep but i have like a gazillion things i want to blog about. It's also hot like a sauna in my room and its discouraging me from sleep. I really need to get that fan that ET has (or use to have, no clue if its still there lol) in his room, i remember it being super cold and nifty because it had a remote....haha

Anyways, so ever since ive gotten my new bed i haven't been really doing anything aside from sleeping in it with my laptop. It's actually very terrible and so lazy of me because im neglecting all the other trillion things i have to do but instead i've been watching Young and Dangerous on Youtube.

I'm also in total facebook uploading-picture mode but i think i am going to hold off for a bit more.

Earlier this evening while (still!!!) cleaning my room, i came across my familiar cardboard box filled with highschool things. Mainly, it was homework, assignments and projects which i kept after all these years because i thought they would somehow come in handy one day (i finally threw them out tonight). I came across one thing that i am definitely going to keep, and its my Writers Craft binder. Writers Craft in HS was a course that allowed students to explore different styles of writing, and this ranged from writing screenplays, children's literature, to poems and journalism. I was particularly fond of this class because of the English teacher that taught the course. She was one of those teachers that you know she really cares about her students and really loves English. It was also great, how she would casually intertwine how much she loves drinking beer and Mel Gibson in the middle of her lessons.

Anyways, one of the things we had to do at the beginning of every class was to write in our journal. We had to choose a topic from this long list of different ideas of what to write about. The catch here was for us to write non-stop for like, five-ten minutes or something and we cannot stop, our pens/pencils have to keep on moving as we basically word vomit on paper. I looked through every entry that i wrote for that class and i completely forgot i wrote any of the stuff i was reading. A couple of lines i wanted to point out that stood out to me as i went through my notebook of scribbles.

In our first entry, we were told to write "a letter to yourself in January"(it was September), then we had to staple it and cannot look at it until January. Some stuff i wrote:

"I want the January-you, to be happy. I hope by January, you and 6453 are together. If not, i know it will be painful but i know you will survive. You have friends that will help you through it. i repeat, you will be okay"

"Remember your pact with C. He wants you to have inspiration back in your life"

- Holy crap, thats some crazy, intense emo stuff i wrote to myself there.

In another entry, i had to write about the people i love most in my life and i wrote,

"My brother, is someone whom i cannot live without for one second in my waking life"

- That hit me really hard, because as much as i fight with him, screamed at him, and in some ways we have grown apart in the past couple of years- i haven't once slowed down to tell and remind myself, how important my brother is to me. This shows how FAST my life has been moving for the past five years. Its absolutely unbelievable. There was a lot more stuff that stood out but too lazy to retype.

In general, after finish going through the entire notebook, it makes me really want to get back into reading and writing. I should make a habit to start doing these writing exercises where instead of typing, i should WRITE in a notebook and just do a crazy word vomit. I just read one of the article assignments that i wrote and damn it was well-written. I am SO impressed with myself Haha lol When i was a kid for like a good period i wanted to be a writer when i grew up. Pwahah i remembered the exact moments when i told myself i COULDN'T be a writer, i was pretty sad, yet it was a realistic decision at the age of ten. lol

In another one of the entries, i wrote:

"Reading makes me who i am. I have always been proud to be the one that read the most out of everybody as i was growing up."

I am almost ashamed of reading and retyping that because i have honestly just stopped reading over the years when it was such an important part of my life as i was growing up (Twilight and Harry Potter doesn't count). Growing up with English as a second language was brutally painful. My parents did not know a word of English, let alone teaching me the basics of the language. Whenever i needed help, i was to call my older cousins (probably at the time in middle-highschool) for help. I guess as a child i've always been very "proud" and did not like calling and asking for help because i wanted to do things on my own (actually i am still like that). Because of that, i learned everything on my own. I read twice as much as the Caucasian kids in the class and brought home more books than any of the kids because i refused to be in ESL with the other minority-race kids. I even began to ask my parents to buy me as much books as they can afford so i can learn and be "good" at English. It did pay off though, as i began to win awards and was recognized for being a "top" reader in my class. As I got older, i started to read less and it got to a point where i just stopped but I picked it up again last summer. Then I totally stopped again when school started.

I'm disappointed in myself, as to why i would let something that was so important to me slip away like that. The consequence of that is my now- shitty-English that i get criticized for at work.

Yeah, i am so going to start ordering from Amazon right now.
BUT, sleeep first.

pS. Excuse the grammer & typo.

Friday, August 7, 2009

Craigslist & Kijiji

Seriously, why do people bother to respond to my ads on craigslist & kijiji when its not within their price range? i ask for 40-50 dollars and people msg me with offers that ranges from FIFTEEN (screw you) to thirty dollars. Shit, read the effing ad before wasting my time with your pointless e-mails. One was even funnier and told me to "be fair" and i must lower my prices because another person on Craigslist was selling it for less. Well, If there's someone else that has cheaper prices (Good for them) then go to THEM, dont tell me to be fair and all righteous AND THEN expect me to give you a discount.


im just very angry today.


and the G.I. Joe Movie got ONE star out of FOUR from the toronto star, and i just printed a "FREE LARGE POPCORN & FOUNTAIN DRINK- IF YOU WATCH G.I JOE @ AMC"-Coupon..... All of which are not very promising signs that one of the summer movies i anticipated the most is going to be any good.

argh. perhaps we can pass on this one team Fantastic4 and wait for, Inglourious Basterds?

Monday, August 3, 2009

Long Weekend in Short

i have a sudden blogging urge which i wish to satisfy before i head to bed.

All weekend long ive been working non-stop to get Project-Debbie-travis-on-a-budget on its way. As seen on my fb all weekend long, ive been uploading pics of the current progress of my big room reno project.

Its like 5% percent complete. =_____=''

I didnt get to go out AT ALL this entire weekend because ive been stuck in my room, cleaning, moving, trashing, organizing everything. It was such a beautiful weekend, and it was such a waste because as i was doing all this, i worked through a huge spiking headache. The only time i WAS able to go out this weekend was to go to ikea to grab my hour at Goldhawk Park to watch lx and my brother play bball and a late evening run to walmart. All in all was probably only a good 3 hours spent outside the house? Booooooo. && tmr is dedicated to bbq-ing with the GCM my backyard.

Terrific, more time spent at home lol.

Perhaps i should make the best out of my time when i head over to J.Chan tmr for tennis (viewing) since i don't know how to play tennis.

Anyways i am probably going to blog about my COMPLETED room once its actually completed, with pictures of its transition from pure mix-matching oldschool ugliness to hopefully a Charming and bold look. id say give it until January 2010 haha

Stay tuned.
PS. i owe the mister and my bro BIG TIME, for helping me all weekend with all the furniture moving. I was (as predicted), completely useless and could not move a single thing (b/c of my spiking headache that lasted all weekend & my sore body from bodycombat&jam on Thursday). Heart heart to both!

tweeet tweeet