Its been a while

I know...i havent updated....in over a month.

That's pathetic of me.

With that said, everything is great. I REALLY want to do an annual reflection of my year as I have been doing for the past 6 or 7 years.

Everything is finally coming together.

a bloody mess

thats what i am

i miss blogging

 鐘意一個不應該鐘意的人是最大的笑話 ha ha ha. 

Going to find a day to blog. I miss it. And I'm sure you people miss me. 

 I hope. 

2nd Day

Dear lord i am EXHAUSTED.

Why? Because my commute to work is TWO BLOODY HOURS...........ONE WAY. Yes that's right, i bus, subway and streetcar it to work. I lose four hours of my day, every single day and mark my words- i am cranky as fuck. So dont get in my way.

That said, absolutely wonderful first day of work yesterday. This is what work seriously should be like. I mean, aside from the horrid commute and possibly the lack of eye candy (which isnt too bad because i could focus on work as oppose to these 'eye candy'), its a pretty awesome place to work at.

Some highlights of my first day-

• Orientation done at Starbucks. Drinks on manager. Win #1
• The people at the office dress SOOOOO nicely. ESPECIALLY the boys on my team. Motivates me to not look like a slob. Win #3
  
• Brand new IMAC and Macbook Pro, out of the box. For me to take home if please (obvs i know it means taking work home. OH WELL). Win #2
• My team (Strategy and Analytics....yes i work with the Math Squad of the company) were sweethearts and took me out for Beer and Wild Boar. Best lunch, ever.Win #4
• Also found out my co-workers are alcoholics like myself. Win #5
  
• Arsenal won our game. Win #6
• Twitter desktop allowed and installed. Win #7

Oh and it rained like a bitch too. Can't forget that. But that's not a win.

Yeah, definitely a good two days. Me happys.

AND AND......................HALLOWEEN THIS WEEKEND!!! YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!!!!

i shall leave it at that. toodles!

Losing to life

Greetings everyone (to who comes around stillllllllll). I am back with somewhat of an update.

SURPRISE TO ALL YOU MONDAY MORNING PEOPLE.

My last blog was almost a month ago and ive been told by SO many people to do something about it (im so sorry! lol). To whom i speak to and are close with, they all knew that i was seriously losing it. Everything was just not okay. I was unhappy. I was frustrated. Job searching and interviews hit a halt. I got sick. I couldn't let go of certain things. Arsenal was doing poorly. I reached the end of my savings. Everything was so bleak and i felt like i just couldn't win. I was losing to life and I was losing badly. Defeat caught up with me and was killing me. I tell myself everyday that "it shall pass" and i just need to keep on going but it got increasingly difficult.


Then just like that. BOOM. Everything comes together in ONE WEEK.

In one week, two things.

First,

1.5 years of FT unemployment. Roughly 75 applications (give or take two)- i am bloody finally fucking employed. Fuck. It was literally one thing after another. E-mailed application > Interview (Design challenge, 4 people interview) > 2 hours later when i was STILL on the bus, call back for ref check > ref check, design challenge #2, Phone interview > Offer emailed to me at 5pm, Friday.

BOOM BITCHES. That's for all of you who would kill to see me fall.

I work my ass off, applying, constantly coming up with new, creative things to add to cover letters, infographs, etc. I did this without the help of anyone and I am proud as hell with myself and i am NOT afraid to be vain and admit that.

That said, to all my girls? This Christmas is going to be awesome. JUST SAYING.

Second, 

I still, might, perhaps, maybe, not know exactly what i want. But ive never been more sure of what i DON'T want. Consider it another lesson learned for me. Today's Shiv's Bridal Shower confirmed with me even more, of what is it that i do want. At the end of the day, i am STILL okay with being single. Until i find my Azza (footy player) of course.

# # #

i'm turning a quarter of a century in a week and a half.....ish. And i have NOT felt better than this in a VERY long time. Except perhaps my weight. (Definitely fatty mode again). But im not going to complain because this is SO much better than I asked for.

oh. and Arsenal is starting to look hopeful again.

THANKKKK YOUUUUU JEEEEBUS. 

Hiatus

Been extremely sick the entire week plus haven't felt like blogging.

Consider this a temporary hiatus.

disney

How many have you seen?

exhausted

Not too sure if i even recognize myself anymore.

My Brilliant Sub-Concious

Shower Curtain
To see a shower curtain in your dream indicates that you are not fully expressing your emotions. There is something that you are still hiding from others. Alternatively, the dream suggests that you are trying to protect those around you from your personal setbacks and emotional outbursts.

& we begin....with my lil blog exercise.

The person i like and why i like them.

Erm. This topic is a bit flawed because i don't like anyone right now. Something that is terribly SHOCKING because for anyone who has known me for a long time would know that i always gotta have a crush (Crush. Not boyfriend. Two very different things) and then i would have back-up crushes and back-up for my back-up crushes haha Or at least that was how it was in high school. But now, absolutely nothing.

It would be nice though, to have a crush. Someone that would make me nervous and give me butterflies. Dressing up for myself is never as satisfying as dressing up for someone else.

With that said, its probably not a good idea for me to have a crush right now. Don't want to involve a 2nd party into my stress and issues. They would probably turn around and leave, as they all do.

STORY OF MY LIFE.

+ + +

Going to go back to looking for these Scarlett Johannson nudie pics. I dont like being left out.

#dontwanttolosetolife

Lets do this again. BLOG PROJECT.

So i haven't "typed" anything of my own in an EXTREMELY long time. I think i really need to get back into it because i feel like ive losted a lot of that "spark" and that "edge" when it comes to blogging. For one thing, i'm not even too sure of who even comes around here anymore to read my crap. Or if anyone does for that matter. (Ahhhh well i know for sure that K does. Cousin does. C does. And i suspect so do you JL lol) Other than that i have no idea. Anyways since i dont want to lose that blogging spark COMPLETELY, i am going to have to start one of these WRITTEN (not picture) blog projects to force myself to type something daily. I've always told people blogging is like anything else, its a skill (plus motivation & inspiration of course) and through repetition you would only get better at it and it will gradually become easier.

So here it is. Zee list. Exciting isn't it. Stuff that i actually want to write about!

• The person i like and why i like them. 
• A famous person i’ve been compared to.
• 5 things that irritate me about the same sex/opposite sex.
• The best thing that has happened to me this week.
• Weird things i do when i’m alone.
• How i’d spend ten thousand bucks.
• Things i like and things i don’t like about the way i look.
• My last night out in detail.
• Something that makes me sad when i think about it.
• Something i’ve lied about.
• Would i rather be stranded on a desert island with someone i love for ten years or someone i hate for a month? explain why.
• Something i’m currently worrying about.
• One person from tumblr i’d throw off a cliff, one i’d marry and one i’d fuck.
• Something i do without realising. 
• Lyrics that apply to my current situation/mood.
• A drunken story.
• Something i regret.
• Post a picture of myself.
• My longest relationship and who it was with.
• Press ctrl v and post.
• Post a bit of my last IM convo.
• 5 things i want to change.
• My view on being tumblr famous.
• Someone i’d like to be for a day and why.
• 5 things within touching distance.
• Story of my first kiss.

Will start tomorrow. Along with other stuff.

fffound

Tribute in Light

A team of 30 electricians worked through the night yesterday to prepare for the 10th anniversary of the World Trade Center attacks which takes place on Sunday. The ‘Tribute in Light’ is made up of 88 bulbs which project two blue beacons of light up into the heavens that is visible from a 60 mile radius. The tribute will be powered on for the entire day and night on Sunday to remember the people who died on September 11, 2001.

“From Ashes, We Build.” - 9/11 Tribute Painting by Sam Spratt

I wanted to pay tribute to September 11th in painted form showing the new construction of One World Trade Center, not just replacing the twin towers—but literally being built from the wreckage. 10 years later, I felt it necessary to acknowledge the importance of past tragedy in the pursuit of a better future: to remember lives lost while looking to save more, to remember fallen icons as we build new ones, and to remember our mistakes as we pursue perfection.

Rest In Peace to all of the victims directly or indirectly killed by the attacks and my heartfelt sympathies to those who lost loved ones through them.

Never forget.

Two of the best 9/11-related pieces i found. The art and creativity behind it is undoubtedly beautiful.

The truth hurts

Dear America,
Your 9/11 is our 24/7.
- Palestine

ouch. very true though. with all due respect.

9/11 - A decade mark

Ten Years Later: A Tribute 9/11
Bryant Park.

2,819 empty chairs on the lawn facing the site where the World Trade Center once stood, one chair for every life lost. The number of empty chairs captures the enormity of the lives lost and the stark emptiness of it just drives home the point that I hope is never forgotten. 2,819 people were here one moment and gone the next. 2,819 went to work or boarded a plane one morning ten years ago thinking it would be another ordinary day and they never came home.

fffound

Because we Asians are bloody brilliant!!!!!!!

Tumblr is 4 years old today

This makes me smile soooo muchhhhhhh on another gloooomy dayyyy. i lurveee himmmmmmmmm

86,400 seconds

I'm suppose to be asleep for i have to wake up early (again) to continue with my work. I kind of feel like im working for the Rat again (not the being abused part, but the working every moment of my day part and being on-call/standby mode part). That said, i'm unable to sleep because im suddenly in a blogging mood.

Today I found out that this girl i know (she's made cakes for many of my friends and myself) had passed away. It was very sudden and it turns out she's been sick for a very long time and from what I know, she's been fighting for her life for the past 2 weeks. To add onto that, she leaves behind not only her family, friends, coworkers, etc. She leaves behind her newly-wed husband, From what I was told, he asked her to marry him because they knew she didn't have much time left. That's probably the second most tragic thing i've heard recently. It gets me thinking- what if i was this unfortunate, what a huge regret it would be to never be able to have my fairytale come true. Its tragically sad but at the same time she's lucky, to have met someone who would do that for her. To have her dream fulfilled so she can at least go with one less regret.

RIP C.H. May you carry those cherished, happy moments with you as you moved on.

I want to rant on more about some other stuff but i'm honestly too exhausted to do so. Perhaps l'll do it when i have a bit more "free" time.

Cherish life. Every minute, every second. And those around you.

“Every passing minute is another chance to turn it all around.”

fffound

That's a dream come true for someone right there.
There's GOTTA be at LEAST 270 chicken nuggets in there.

Now someone make it happen FOR ME!!!!!

Hey cousin, guess what?

i love you. thats all.
now lets go do some work LOL.

#continuestolosetolife

Rough

I usually don't rant about football on this blog but i really need to get it off of my chest.

As some of you may have already known. Today Arsenal suffered their worst defeat in 115 years. Absolute devastation. I thought last season's defeat was bad when i started to cry at the pub. Nah, that was nothing compared to how we were pulverized today. Our reserves team slaughtered by wolves. Civil war between fans. Injuries, Bans, Bookings. This is a new low for us. The goals that we conceded definitely felt like stabs. The pain was so bad, I couldn't even bring myself to cry. Instead I just laughed. And drank (of course).

No judging now.

I still love Arsenal to death tho.

Just thought l'd share.

Back to work i go.

I LOVE HAPPY ENDINGS *SOBS*

Dream proposal.

I HAD to make a blog post out of this because this will essentially be my future fiancee's "HOW-TO-PROPOSE" to me visual guide. Remember, its all about being CREATIVE future mister. Also a reminder to myself that i deserve that, fairytale ending and i shouldn't settle for less.

fffound

People. KILLS ME. rofl.

is this life?

i certainly hope not. im becoming mean & more frustrated as the days fly pass me.

the lack of inspiration is starting to scare me. im losing sight of what i want to do and what i need to do to get there. the most concerning part is im losing myself and i feel myself giving up that fight slowly. Day by day, bit by bit.

anyhoo,

came back from camping this weekend with ONLY two mosquito bites, massive pounds gained and am now a pro at flipcup. i returned to a messy room, my brother being difficult and a pile of freelance work.

i may be doing a lot of freelance work but 90% of that work is extremely mindless and doesn't inspire me in any way. its mainly for income. To me its no different from data entry.

what has life become?

fffound

omfg. old indeed.

eerily accurate

Note: This dream was EXTREMELY sci-fi and weird.

This 3rd dimension (perhaps aliens) were abducting dolphins and turning them into helium balloons as they are being teleport up into the skies.

To see a dolphin in your dream, symbolizes spiritual guidance, intellect, mental attributes and emotional trust. The dream is usually an inspirational one, encouraging you to utilize your mind to its capacity and move upward in life.

To see balloons in your dream, indicate declining hopes and disappointments in your search for love. A situation in your life will take a turn downward.

To see an ascending balloon in your dream, signifies frustrating conditions in your life in which you are seeking to rise above. You are expressing a desire to escape.

Aside from the freaky dolphin teleporting thing, there were also extremely pretty stars/constellations and fireworks in the sky.

To see stars in your dream, symbolize excellence, success, aspirations or high ideals. You are putting some decision in the hands of fate and luck. Perhaps you are being too "starry-eyed" or idealistic.

To see fireworks in your dream, symbolizes enthusiasm, creativity, and talent. It may also indicate that you are showing off and making a spectacle of yourself. Alternatively, fireworks represents release of some pent up or repressed feelings


So while all this was happening, i was trying SO hard to take a picture of all this but its either im unable to snap it or it comes out blurry.

To dream that you are taking a picture, suggests that you need to focus more attention to some situation or relationship. Perhaps, you feel that you need to recapture some past moments in a relationship. Alternatively, taking a picture refers to your desires to hold onto a certain moment in your life.

To see a blurry picture in your dream, suggests that your memory of the depicted event, incident, or people, is fading. Perhaps you need to let go of the past and stop holding on to what was and concentrate on what is. On the other hand, you are attempting to disguise a situation and refusing to see it as it really is. You need to learn acceptance.

Insanely accurate. I hate my subconcious sometimes.

Losing to life

You tell em Chucky.

一切都是天意, 是命運. 誰也逃不離. 終究已註定.

fffound

Remember themmmmmm??? Little Rascals??? Alfalfa and Darla?!?!?
TOO CUTE!

Slumber Coma

Since i've came back from San Diego, i have been completely out of routine. I've been doing nothing, in terms of my freelance plus job hunting situation (except for maybe that one night where I did my all-nighter for this infographic that I wanted to send in to one particular company). I haven't been to the gym since as well (except on Saturday, which felt great because my body feels like its been run over by a bus!) and i feel like shit even more because of that. On top of that, i've been sleeping A LOT. I mean taking these two and a half hours naps during the day. I would be chatting and then I would be gone because ive fallen asleep on my oh-so-comfy bed behind me. What's even worst is this slumber coma that i fell into yesterday. Pretty much i slept ALL DAY yesterday. Partially because of this nagging painful headache that did not go away since Saturday afternoon, partially my upper body was sore from the gym (whenever bod is sore = me wanna sleep) and then, just because i felt like sleeping even though i SHOULD be doing a bit of freelance work. Um, i took a 4 hour nap before dinner. Ate dinner, ate cake for dessert on the couch but started to fall asleep!!! I then just gave up and went to bed at 7pm. Ridiculous no? I woke at 1115 and decided that i should just sleep through the night and wake up at 530am. Mainly because i fear i might turn into a vegetable if i let myself sleep until 10am- which im sure i would have been able to do.

I've been fairly productive when it comes to seeing people and going out though! That said- I MISS MY COUSIN. Its official. I don't remember what her face looks like no more and it makes me saddddd. So so sadddddd. Big sad face. I hopes to see her soon before our annual camping trip next week??? Pweleaseee??


I guess its good that im up right now and blogging (yesh! its only 7am). But i'm really losing focus. Its extremely difficult to stay positive when you've been in this limbo of a stage for almost two years now (its been TWO summers). Its not really like i haven't gotten any responses either because at least it shows that i'm doing something right. I must really be the talks when people gossip about who's doing what after graduation and me, K, been completely useless. Unemployed for this long, not really going anywhere with life amongst other things. Out of all people, i am seriously the last fucking person to be in this type of situation and here i am. All this bad luck- i'm convinced one of you wankers cursed me.

Especially lately, I've told myself, those are just vain words, from an empty mind. (I say mind because of one specific person). But ive always been that person that really gives a shit about what others think. I cannot, help but let that ruin me. But seriously, this person's two-faced-ness makes me bloody sick. I mean, if you are going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty, bitch. Ugh. 

And of course, right when I act spontaneously (i do that a lot)- my dreams (the ones i get at night, not the froo froo ones) brings me back to a broken reality and tells me, its not going to happen. Bummer, really. I think its this loss of focus that's causing me to lose that control i had over how i feel.

Or it might even be that- the cause of my slumber coma. mEEEH. we shall see this week.

GOOD MORNINGGGGG.

Blackberry 7 Fan Night

I thought this evening deserved its own post purely because i am sucha Blueberry fan and the evening was purdy epic. Thnx to J, i was his guest to a social event at the Fifth. I didn't really think much of it until i reached the club and noticed there was a huge line-up. As if that did not give away how awesome the inside was going to be, all the "open bar" tweets that populated my timeline did it for me.

The fifth in general is a very posh venue so I did not expect it to be any less than chic in terms of ambiance. The music was great, the food was pretttty good (or whatever I was able to eat anyways). The people dressed nicely, photographers, a photobooth (that i wish i took advantage of more) and of course, can't go wrong with open bar. (J got disgustingly plastered. i loved every moment of it hahah)

The purpose of the event was to promote the new OS7 blackberry phones that are coming out in September. The main feature is the touchscreen for ALL the phones, including the BOLD (the one i am MOST excited about) Torch and the shit Storm which is now also called the Torch (even though everyone called it the Touch that night....whateves). The phones are pretty nice. I'm REALLY excited to get it in September once my contract is up. My phone is SO ghetto with its beat-up keyboard and shell plus the OS majorly lags. People yelped at the sight of it that evening.

And of course, a party would not be complete without a lootbag. But with what?!?!

Uh huh. That's right, im totally bragging. Cue the jealousy.

nothingness

For the past week or so ive been having reoccurring themes in my dreams. I'm not going to go into detail of what im dreaming of but they're all the same just different settings. Its gotten to a point where, i know whats going to happen next in the dream and i just go along with it like a script. I did my analysis, i did the dissection of details and it all points to the same thing. The part that's really sad though, is in the dream when it happens, i tell myself "to be as happy as long as you can and not question anything". I would then wake up with zero expectations and zero hope. Don't know which part is worst- zero hope or knowing that the only way to experience it is when im asleep. How freaking sad is thattttt.

i also get these creepy dreams too (that ive told the cousin about). but im not gonna get into that.

lameeeeee.

How futbol has become my substitute for a boyfriend

I stole this from my friend G on facebook and it was originally named, "How volleyball has become my substitute for a girlfriend." but instead i replaced all the words, 'volleyball', 'girlfriend', to 'futbol' and 'boyfriend' respectively plus a couple of modifications. Honest to god, its EXACTLY how i feel about futbol and i absolutely had to steal it ahhahha. COMPLETE CREDIT GOES TO HIM!!!! If you're reading this- YOU ROCK AND I OWE YOU A SHOT!!! =]]]

oh, you can also subsitute the word FUTBOL with ARSENAL too.

1) I show up early and stay late for futbol games.
2) I spend more time and energy thinking about futbol than anything else.
3) Wherever I am in the world, I'm always thinking about futbol.
4) I am willing to spend money I don't have on futbol shirts, futbol games, futbol merchandise, future futbol trips.
5) I am willing to cancel prior plans to watch futbol.
6) I am unwilling to break plans to watch futbol unless I absolutely have to.
7) I love to introduce futbol to everyone and I want all my friends to love futbol.
8) While watching futbol demands so much, it rewards me for my loyalty with their wins and the player's happy tweets.
9) Everytime I think I've figured something out about futbol, it does something to let me know I still have lots to learn.
10) I commute out of my way to watch futbol.
11) Futbol requires more commitment; both time and effort, than I have ever given to anyone or anything.
13) My relationship with futbol has become akin to an abusive relationship: I suffer injuries and trauma watching futbol but in the end, I come crawling back to it because I love it so much.

Its sad but true. I LOVE YOU ARSENAL.

i know i fail

i know i know i promised a PRE-SANDIEGO trip post.

That obviously did not happen.

But here i am, i made the effort, i put on my face and travelled my arse to the ghettos of what they call scarbaria, to sit down in a dark corner at a Starbucks/Chapters (because i know my usual SB will be packed to the max with asians who are afraid of the sun) with two and a half venti drinks by my side.

So greetings, to whoever that hasn't given up on me. Indeed i am back (duh) for exactly a week. Ive been sick (a cold with fever to be precise) the minute i got off of that much delayed plane hence the terrible lag in updating. To contribute to further delays, the minute i felt remotely better i was out of the house and not in front of the computer. When i was, it was only to watch my Arsenal games and....not blog.

Right, i shall stop it with the excuses! Onwards with zee trip.

San Diego was a lot of fun. It didn't really feel like a 7 day trip because everyday went by extremely quickly because we packed it in with what seems like a zillion things to do each day. I don't really want to bother going into great depths of what we did each day because that's boring. I think a general outline will suffice?

The first three days of the trip was dedicated mostly to doing tourist-like stuff and running errands. We stayed at the Mariott Residential Suites where there was an in-suite kitchen (completed with cutlery and cookware) for us to make food and pretty much live there comfortably for a week. Great place. The cleaning ladies did our dishes (we are SO awful), they delivered a toothbrush to us in the middle of the night, excellent warm morning breakfast buffet and HOT WATER ALL THE TIME. No complaints what so ever about the hotel.
As for living with the boys, thankfully and miraculously i survived. Its a good thing that K is a very neat and clean boy and i know most of lx's habits thus there was no need to try to poison their eggs. For most days, we slept around midnight and got up at 4am (or at least i did). We made lunchboxes for convention days, ate breakfast in (whether it was the hotel buffet or stolen food from the hotel buffet from the day before), and public transited our arse to the con (which was a 45 minute trip each time). I'm proud of our very economical ways.

San Diego as a city is very lovely. I especially lurve their Gaslamp district which is equivalent to our distillery district, queen street and king street - all in one. Because our commute was so long and treacherous, we were not able to spend that much time there after the convention for offsite events and after parties. Personally if i was with other people id probably stay out til 4am and forget sleep but i chose to be a tad bit more responsible and opted to NOT do that. Also plus i couldn't really afford the drinking. If i was to go back id DEFINITELY want to party it up nice and hard there.

As for the actual convention, from a perspective of a wannabe-geek: it was AMAZING. I can only imagine for much more hardcore geeks, how much MORE amazing it must have been. I was not able to attend as many panels as i hoped to. Mainly because i was quite naive in believing that i only had to lineup max, 3 hours for a more "popular" panel but in reality that turned out to be about 3 hours MINIMUM waiting time and went up to 5-7 hours for my longest day. One of my tweeters tweeted me: Seems like all you are doing is that (line up). Which in fact that really WAS all i did. If you guys been through my albums, you would see how fukking ridiculous the line-up to go to some of these panels were. You really would not understand unless you were there. I have never seen anything like that in my life.

It was a joy to see everyone cosplay and i guess what made it count the most was the fact that nobody was judging anyone. You'd be surprised but there's people of ALL ages there- families, seniors, teens, kids, middle-aged Asian women, big black guys that cosplays. Its really not just, socially awkward fat white dudes as stereotypically comic geeks are portrayed as. There were some REALLY good looking guys too (BELIEVE IT OR NOT), so it was like a big satisfying buffet for me. Giggles giggles.

The real moment of the trip though, was when i touched Alex Skarsgards (Eric Northman from True Blood) thigh. It was so bloody amazing. I told EVERYONE that i knew about this. I was practically shaking after he handed my pass and sharpie back to me (fuk ya for bringing extra markers!!). But what made it EXTRA sweet was that i got sweet fucking revenge on this bitch that stole my seat earlier in the afternoon. She was behind me (even though she sat much closer to the stage then me) and was trying to get to him. She dropped her marker and USUALLY, i would pick it up for the person (even though it was seriously a fucking stampede. GIRLS ARE WILD) but no. For stealing my fucking seat, you get your marker kicked AWAY from you. That's right. I won't stay angry. i get fucking even. Don't mess. Karma is a BITCHHH.

i digress.

If i was given a chance to go again- i definitely WOULD go and l would probably dress up as well. It was nice to be surrounded by people who share the same excitement as you as oppose to people who don't understand why you are so excited about a fictional character. I know that a lot of my friends think im a tad bit weird for being such a geek and even though they don't say it nor judge me (not that much anyways lol), i do still feel a bit left out and a bit like a loser. Its not really their fault though because society has set up this aspect to be subjected to lots of judging. But its like that feeling that you get when all the popular kids talk about all the cool things they did on the weekend and asks you what you did and your the odd one standing out like a sore thumb. Yeah, its that feeling i get sometimes but its ok! I'm use to it!! And i have the boys to turn to for things like this.

So that's my trip is a nutshell! If i will be seeing you i will probably add in more detail and if you're just a reader than....i guess that's all you get.

l'll write up another entry on just a general update.....soon. HA.

Pre-San Diego Entry- i promise

More than likely im going to do one more post before i fly out to SanDiego on early Monday morning. So if you can just entertain yourself by skimming or looking at my Harry Potter stuff, u'll get somewhat of a little read before then.

I should really sleep though. i gots an early Arsenal game to catch in a couple hours.

i am a wizard not a baboon brandishing a stick bitch

WARNING - INTENSIVE HEAVY, WORD VOMIT OF HARRY POTTER-NESS KIND OF ENTRY WITH A MILLION PICTURES. YOU MIGHT WANT TO SKIP THIS ENTRY TOO IF YOU WANT TO AVOID SPOILERS. YOU'VE BEEN WARNED.

I just came home from watching the movie and I am still in disbelief that the movies are actually (and finally) done. This last Harry Potter film was.....unbelievable. Even though the story ended 4 years ago, i felt like I still had the movies to look forward to. But now, the magic really did end tonight for me and the millions of childhoods. A whole generation saying good bye.

I thought the movie REALLY did the last book justice. I waited 5 years, to see the great Hogwarts Battle. 10 years to see R&H finally hooking it up, 5 years to see that duel scene between M&B. To have all that visualized for you on screen is indescribable, and for it to be just as amazing as you imagined it in your head?!?! Again, indescribable.

To also grow up with the actors and actresses that plays the characters is also pretty amazing. Look at the change and transitions, visual:

sheeeesh. look at how HANDSOME they look now.

They were SOOO cute and tiny.

Part i cried the MOST

and

The Snape character was given proper justice in the movie. I think for his scene, i cried the hardest. Probably the hardest ive cried for ANY movie. Its right up there with the Notebook, beating out UP.

And of course, the trio- whom i will miss terribly

Turds.

# # #

Plus not enough emphasis on Ron who's the dorkiest boy in the world.

# # #

“The stories we love best do live in us forever, and whether you come back by page or by the big screen, Hogwarts will always be there to welcome you forever.”
— JK Rowling.

I know that, its very hard for a lot of people to comprehend why and how this is such a significant. But its very emotional. Something that you have loved for 10 years (hey, longer than ANY relationship ive had with anything/anyone) its not that easy to see it end!!! If you think of it from OUR perspective, we find it very hard to understand why YOU GUYS, don't see the emotional attachment. Someone tweeted:

"lol @ people who have an emotional relationship with the Harry Potter films. They are good, but no need to cry that they are over."

FIRST OFF, i unfollowed that person that said that. Second, well, imagine me saying "Hey, your pet (insert animal here) was good to you too but no need to cry when she/he dies." to you.

..........

Yeah harsh right? That's exactly how we, as HP fans feel when you guys say that to us. It's actually a little hurtful, for me anyways. We don't expect you to understand because it IS difficult to understand but don't make it seem like its a joke (okay so i joke all the time about being a wizard and that there's such thing as *magic*, that's just me being difficult and being a clown haha) and that we are just blowing it out of proportions. Life as it is, is unbelievably difficult and brutal, this for us is just a lil bit of magic that we found. Plus, give it a little credit for its millions of supporters- its gotta fucking mean something right? I hate to compare (and believe me i am able to compare because i am just as hardcore with this series) but being disgustingly OBSESSED with Twilight (the movies) is VERY different from being obsessed with Harry Potter.

Something that’s worth so much in my life, that IS my life actually, has come to an end. I feel so incredibly lucky to have been part of this since its started. i stayed til the very end, the love for it isn't going to fade and i'm proud to be your friendly HP geek.

Life feels that little bit more emptier now. But thanks to all my friends who's been putting it up with this many years. Thanks to twin that got me started and shared the same love for HP with me all this time.

That's the end of this generation for me~

PS. Forgive the awful.....grammar, sentence fragments and unorganized thoughts. Its late and i'm still a bit overwhelmed.