The most important thing I realized is that painful breakups, unrequited love, shitty jobs and the like help us to BUILD CHARACTER and that no matter how bad it feels, we are much better off because of it. Sometimes you have to stand alone to make sure you can. Forget what you want to remember what you deserve.You may not end up where you thought you'd be, but you'll always end up where you were meant to be. You can either let these bad things, define you, destroy you or strengthen you. Fight through it like a warrior. Greater things are to come.

Sunday, February 27, 2011

womp womp

My team lost in a final today. My boys fell.
As stupid and ridiculous as many, MANY, of you may think i am- it hurt to the core. i even teared up at the bar.
Ask me how sad i am and i will give u an epic description.

No mood. Outs.

Friday, February 25, 2011

Pervert in the PATH

Everybody knows what the PATH is right? It's Toronto's underground shopping complex of connecting tunnels from various large office towers in the downtown area. Apparently its the world's largest underground shopping complex in the world according the Guinness World Records. Anyways, I've been working dt at the CIBC building so i am there exploring the tunnels frequently during my lunch hour for new shops, food and men in sexy suits.

You know what it also contains? FUCKING PERVERTS.

Yup. My story begins.

I was on my lunch break and i BELIEVE......i was in the BMO/TD building concourse area (where the LCBO, the Gap is to all those that work dt) and i kind of stepped aside to think about where i wanted to eat and to also to obviously pin on my blueberry (i didnt want to impose on the fast walking traffic). Anyways, looking down, not paying attention, msging away when the next thing you know. Someone fucking grabs my ass.


Yeah. Not a pat. Not a brush-by. A full-force, grab/squeeze-a-chunk-of-your-ass-cheek-during-heavy-duty-make-out-sessions-by-your-lover's-entire-fucking-hand kind of grab.

Initial thought. Someone I know. Turn around. See no one. Only see lots of people walking off looking like they are doing something important. Next thought, well, not really thought, next FEELING- shock.

Holy mother fuck!!!!!! What the shit is that?!?!?! I was PISSSED beyond belief because i didnt see the motherfucker that grabbed me and completely SHOCKED out of my effing mind. That's Sexual Harassment RIGHT THEREEEEE. Holey moley. Yo if i saw that fucking bastards face i would have chased after him and fucking chopped his hands off and THEN call the fucking police to fucking throw his sorry perverted asshole in jail. I cannnot believe i didnt see who it was. FUCKERY. It's several hours after and i am STILL shocked at what happened.

Obviously i cant do a single fucking thing now but this teaches me two things:

  1. Ladies- watch your back. An ass grab is honestly nothing to me (not implying l'll let anyone grab my bum but its seriously a big meeh to me) but it only shows that anything can happen when you aren't paying attention.
  2. To STOP being such a bbm addict. If i can get sexually harassed in broad, artificial daylight with hundreds of people around me and the bastard can get away with it- imagine at night or when you're walking on the streets alone and not paying attention to your surrounding. You either get hit by a car or get hit with something worst by someone and then you know what the far worst can happen after you've been knocked out. Just saying.

I hope that son of a bitch rots in hell.

Lil Miss Psycho Biatch

I wont try to be that "perfect girlfriend."

I’m a confusing girl. I’ll annoy you, do stupid shit, get mad about the smallest things you do or don’t do, get sad about the times when you don’t talk to me, make a big deal about the things you say, occasionally be a bitch cause i’ve been fucked in the past, get jealous when you talk to other girls, and hate you for the way you make me feel at times.

Yeah, this is me.

Monday, February 21, 2011

zucchini and asparagus

New (but short) week begins! I'm going to attempt to start eating healthy-ishly and bring lunch every single day since ive discovered that i can eat zucchini and asparagus!!!! :)))) (credit ALLLL goes to the cousin)

Saturday, February 19, 2011


i saw....past, secret and naked.

What does that say about me? ahahha

Friday, February 18, 2011

A rant

Today was one of those days where i discovered how important it was to have an actual "role" in a company. More specifically for my situation- to have a "design" role/title of your own in a company/corporation, in order to:

a. prevent someone from stealing your designs and claiming it as their own.
b. have your ideas heard
c. (relates to A) to cut that bitch to the death that took your design and butchered it up

My current employment relies on pretty much every ounce of organization skills i possess and how disgustingly detail-oriented i can be. The more meticulous i am, the happier my manager is. Aside from that, it calls for zero creativeness. That said one of the tasks was to design the event Microsoft Publisher. For those who don't know what it is- its like a layout/document making program for non-design folks who doesn't care to learn for actual long document/layout making programs like Adobe InDesign and Quark. Simply put it- Publisher is extremely limited in its "functions" comparatively to the other design programs I normally use thus, I can ONLY make something look so "nice" given my limitations. I did my best, i presented what i felt was a brand new look and feel to what is a relatively "boring" and dull brochure yet, compiled with the corporate guidelines.

Next thing you know after about 10 revisions, my work gets shipped off to the Strategic and Communications department for "approval", andddd i pretty much am unable to touch my own work anymore.


Because, the "designer" in the cmm department did a much more creative job because they laid it out in Quark.

But i wasn't allowed to use Quark? I didn't even have access to it on my computer?

The corporate "designer" added a few other real snazzy elements to the design.

Well, those snazzy elements happen to just be small arrows that flew everywhere, CLUTTERED the page - but ripped my existing layout. Changed the font - but essentially stealing and kept all the elements that III came up with to improve the brochure. But still claimed it as their own.

The kerning was off, the white space was unbalance, i suspect they have zero idea what margins are, it was amateur-looking, and a shit load of other design-related issues that i dont remember but i do remember circling and underlining it as it was reviewed during our weekly committee meeting. Whats even more funny is the fact that the bankers who are part of this committee that i am on, were able to point out PRINT-RELATED issues with the layout.............and they're freaking business men! That's how OBVIOUS the mistakes were. But its okay because they loved the arrows. Oh they fucking loveeeeeeeeeeeeed the brilliant arrows.

As a result of all these "changes" (aka font change and an explosion of arrows), this communications "designer" will be in charge of completing the brochure and i am not allowed to touch it anymore. Even though its been under my charge since November.

You can freaking bet my attitude was NOT chirpy during the entire meeting after i was told this and im sure my face was sour as fuck.

All because, i am NOT the designer and simply just a minion. A minion who's very good at making lists.


You get walked on and your work is unappreciated and not credited to you. And this is why boys and girls - i need a fucking full-time graphics job.

Mobile blogging thus again

Only my extended, long-time readers/friends would understand this entry.

So I am stuck on the subway line as I type this up (and will send it when I get reception) (FUKNUTS. This is what I get for staying 45minutes later than usual. I get stuck in TTC traffic).

Anyways just now, I think my heart stopped for a couple of seconds because I thought I saw 6453 standing before me. It was absolutely alarming how much this dude looked like him. The height, the face, the hair. Ohmygod. Definitely did die for a few seconds there. Identical. I think what didn't fit was the fact that this guy was slimmer and he was reading a llibrary book. 6453 would not be caught dead with a book in his hand.

I think what REALLY alarmed me was the fact that merely by the thought of ever seeing/bumping into him again (note: have not seen him in 5ish years)....can make me stop dead in my tracks. Imagine if I ever DO really bump into him (and not his slimmer, sexier, nerdier doppleganger)- I think I really would die. Or something along the lines of that.

Insane right? Ugh. I effing hate u 6453. Why must u still have this effect on me.

Woot. Reception. Send, send, send!

Sent from my BlackBerry device on the Rogers Wireless Network


That sucks balls yo if he WASNT interested. haha

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

My teeth hurts

I feel like i have braces all over again. : (
Therefore i am going to keep this brief!

  • Flight booked! Hotel booked! Pass Confirmation Received!
    San Diego Comic Con 2011 - July 18 - 24
    I WILL BE THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!
    • Apparently, so will the FULL CAST for BREAKING DAWN (cough Twilight). Just PERHAPS.....l'll "bump" into Rob Pattinson......ya'll know...because i am still a pretty big TWILIGHT fan. Puahah. 
    • Same goes with True Blood, Vampire Diaries and The Big Bang Theory (as ive mentioned MANY times already)- they are there EVERY YEAR. I might just casually "bump" (cough.stalk.cough) into Damon of VD....or Erik of TB.....maybe even Sheldon of TBBT.......
    • I am SO ready to get my geek on. 
    • I actually have....a Comic Con blog. Somewhere. Since nobody really cares about how much i love geek stuff, i figured i should spare you that grief, post it elsewhere and perhaps provide a link for anyone interested? That will come soon after i make it look more geek chic. I also plan to regularly blog from there when i'm actually in San Diego. Yes, i am bringing my laptop and in the process of figuring out the most cost efficient way of being able to have data on my phone as i am there b/c quite frankly, Rogers robs you stupid poor. But that's not really shocking.
  • Futbol, futbol, and more futbol
    This month is the month of Futbol for A and myself. Scallywags three weeks in a row. Hopefully they will start to recognize us!
    • Epic Game tomorrow. Words cannot explain my excitement. And even if i CAN explain it, don't think i will because nobody cares enough to hear it. HA. 
    • Awaiting for jersey's to come in the mail patiently................
  • Valentines Day
    • Pre-date with K before she left for HK : )
    • Actual date on vday w/ J. I seriously need to stop being such a psycho. 
  • Awaiting patiently for news from my latest interview.............
    • Prays. Crosses fingers. The company is corporate. Downtown. Has a building named after them. UGH. Perfectness. Prays more. 
  • Beast mode has been lacking....again. 
    • Fcuk. Very unproud. Very tubby again.

Ending it off with two fffounds!

One. Graphic Design at its best.

I love Graphic Design.

Two. Nerds at their best.

BAHAHAHAHHAA. "We are going to see Koothrappali. Not kill batman".
This part killed me too. I love you Sheldon Cooper. 

Futbol & MWDC tmr! OUTS!

Friday, February 11, 2011

X-Men: First Class

Holyfuknuts. That looked GOOD.
I don't care what ANYBODY has said about the past 3 X-Men movies (not incld. Wolverine)- i bloody loved them all. So screw you all. I am excited about this one. And unfortunately for the guys- you guys are seeing it with me. Whether they want to or not. Big GRINS.

i need to stop being so psycho

Quiet, quiet weekend

I decided to forego, what was suppose to be a pretty packed weekend for portfolio website building. And of course, V-Day baking. ugh. i am tres lame. lol (Yes, i have decided to bake again).

I'm pretty determined to complete my much delayed portfolio site due to the fact that i really think i am losing out on a lot of graphics-related job because i don't have a decent website to showcase. i know i have the experience, i supppppose i have the style too but no website. Fakkkkers. I'm at a point now where i am pretty sick of not being employed full-time and money is becoming an issue again. (And of course, i want a new spring/summer wardrobe!!).

So here i am, and here i will be for the next 2 nights - working, working, baking, working.

Next week is going to be pretty fabulous though. Valentines Day ^^;;, Arsenal vs Barcelona Game @ Scallywags (2nd week in a row!!!!!!!!), Em's DimSum Birthday Brunch, KARYN'S RETURN (!!!!!!!!), Family Day. Fabulous indeed!

oh and a fffound (somewhat design-related) before i continue to do work.

Photoshop-ed Katy Perry
Her skin was "smoothed" to become silky smooth. Her boobs pushed up. Took off her sock in the ‘enhanced’ one (i guess give her less clothes?). Her stomach. Her fingers. Her moles are removed from her neck. Lines removed from her underarm.

Interesting yes? Sad face. Even Katy Perry has to be photoshopped.
Which pretty much means........ALL OTHER CELEBRITIES ARE TOO (incld. Megan Fox <- this one is for u lx if u read this. SHES A FRAUD. ACCEPT IT. Bahaha)

Thursday, February 10, 2011

San Diego

Countdown begins? haha T-minus 157 days!The official planning begun today with a 35 page PDF of flight and hotel options compiled by K. Insaneness.

i hope he's there again this year. he was there last year. LOL 
creepy, but i would totally attempt to take him home.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

let me tell you guys something-

1. giving a shit sucks ass.
2. due to point number 1- it made me realize something that i dont want to fucking realize but i do and it fucking kills and is fucking pathetic.

good night.

Monday, February 7, 2011

the big bang theory *spam*

okay i swear thats the last. lolol Good Nights.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

the big bang theory *spam*

im on a big bang theory high. Bear with me.

So i got REALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLY excited when i saw this cast picture.
True nerds would know why.

(its b/c Stan Lee is in the picture?!?!?!!? duhhhhhhhhhh.) ^^ v

big bang theory

To anybody that watches the Big Bang Theory.
This was seriously the BEST, FUNNIEST scene by far in the 4 seasons to date.

Superbowl (Boring) Sunday

Funny how i am into totally into English "futbol" yet not remotely interested in American pigskin. Yes i call it that because there is only ONEEE futbol/football in my life, and that's my endearing soccer/futbol. While everyone indulges in amazing, greasy superbowl food - i opted to stay home to clean up my tumblr "like" list (which consisted of 1391 entries), caught up a bit more with The Big Bang Theory, watched a lil FUTBOL earlier in the day anddddd....napped. Haha. When i really should be apply for jobs/customizing my cover letter (as i am right now). I don't understand the HUGE hype with the Superbowl. That said, i don't expect people to understand the HUGE hype behind english league cups. I suppose i should really look at the superbowl as, "the worldcup" or "eurocup" of futbol. That logic makes a lil more sense to me.

im really just rambling. and finding an excuse to type something. forgive my boringness.

Here's a fffound tho!

Pretty awesome eh. Apparently the 1899 one is the one that had cocaine in it? ha.



x ROFL. 

Thought l'll change the mood up since my last post was quite angry.

Saturday, February 5, 2011

Bitch move

Yo. i am pissed as hell. For a guy to go fucking block me on fb because we "didn't work out" is an immature bitch move. If i ever see him again, i think l'll seriously stab his face and probably penis too. Fuck you man. You're not even at my level, don't think talking smack and making bitch moves will make you any less of a cunt. Grow the fuck up and understand what ADULT relationships are actually about.

Excuse my language. I am seriously ticked off.


i wish my room looked like this.
THAT'S LIKE 5 BILLS!!!!! Let's not even start on the macbook, the imac and another printer on top of that.
Jealous much?

so true

Yo its a tough market.

Comic Con 2011

Last July i was telling everyone about how much i wanted to go to comic con in San Diego and was whining about it all over my twitter and fb. I didn't realllllly think anybody would actually be interested enough to go. 'Cause seriously. Its 3,487 km away, tickets are about 107 dollars for four days at the convention (or you can do ONE but obvs whats the point of that) and its really a calling for all geeks, nerds, fan-girls, fan-boys and i know for a fact- not a lot of people can stand that. It's like being at Silver Snail (a comic book store on Queen St) but amplified 500x. Hell i STILL get looks (not the good kind) for being over enthusiastic about certain marvel comics-turned movies. Or X-Men. I really do love X-Men muchs. lol Here's something i created last year:

Anyways. Until recently, a discussion arise amongst the guys and interestingly enough (well not really lol) K was making plans to buy tickets to go there for his birthday and didn't know whether we interested. Obviously being the four nerds that we are,we all jumped at the idea. But it seriously was all up in the air until a week ago during our annual Winterlicious dinner, we confirmed our interest. Which pretty much means, the purchase of tickets will finalize whether we are going or not. To be honest I was a TINY bit skeptical because i have heard the horror nightmare stories from reading blogs about purchasing tickets online so I wasn't exactly sure whether it would happen. That was further confirmed this morning when K calls me to tell me that the ticket servers went down TWO MINUTES after sales started. Basically tickets went on sale at noon, the darn thing went down at 12:02pm. You'd really think because this is COMIC CON we are talking about here, they will have a truckload of tech geeks and programmers lined up to create something invincible right? HA. No.

Apparently this was what everyone was getting on their screen for about an hour and a half or two.
So after talking to K i thought, bleh. Just my luck right? Thank godddddddddd the guy texts me back and says that he got em. 


Happiest Screen of my life.

PWAHHAHA Ohemgee. I cannot express how unbelievably happy and freaking excited I am. The thought of previews of comics, of toys, of memorabilia, world premieres of certain movies and let's nottttttttttttttttt forget..........the VAMPIRE DIARIES/TRUEBLOOD/BIG BANG THEORY panels?!?!?!? Oh eff me now. i am READY to fight people to be able to be part of these panels. I am going to DESTROY anybody who's in my way of seeing Ian Somerhalder/Eric Northman/Jim Parsons. MARK MY WORDS. mwahhah

Oh and for anybody interested, im going w/ albie, lx and shadow. I cannot imagine going to the world's biggest geek gathering with anybody else but these guys. Its going to be absolutely epic. Our conversations are pretty much made up of comic books/sci-fi/anime/movies/tv/gaming topics. The other half of our conversation topics include making mockery of certain individuals (b/c we are evil) and constant bitching of our lackof money status lol otherwise its mainly those. Its one of those things where i must go to at least once in my life and its crazyyyyyy how i am going to be able to do it with 3 guys whom i consider to be three of my best friends. I haven't really told J im going to San Diego with three guys yet. HOPEFULLY............he will be okay. ha ha haaa.


Friday, February 4, 2011

Happy 7th Birthday Facebook!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

All Courtesy of Mashable

I totally admit it. I am probably the biggest creeper (that openly owns up to it!!!) that you will come across.
I LOVE YOU FACEBOOK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
YOU MADE STALKING (or "investigating" as i would call it) SO MUCH EASIER (than lame ol' friendster).

Chinese New Years!

Illustrated by Annnbug!!! Uber, uber cuteness that i stole from her. 

As promised! Here's my lil rant on Chinese New Years. 

Chinese New Years has finally dawned on us and i am excited as ever. Not because of the warm festivities,and the massive mountains of delicious radish cake i am looking forward to tackling - but because its a new lunar year which means a brand new start at the year again. Last year it was the year of the tiger and being born under the sign of the Tiger it meant that my year was going to be the shittest of all signs because of some lunar overlap conflict. Basically- the epitome of shits.

Shit of the shit.

I'm a huge believer in Chinese Astrology so i would read a zillion articles forecasting what my year was going to be like and believe it or not- my horoscope was right for last year. I did pretty much hit rock bottom in all areas of my life and that was exactly what it predicted. I don't know about my other fellow tigers but i can be almost certain that they have had better years.

Anyways! New horoscopes and its definitely an improvement from last year. It appears a common theme this year is that a "helpful/valuable" person will help me (tigers) achieve my goals. Yo lets hope so. Major partying, drinking and shots on me if that's true.

I dunno. There's a lot more that i don't feel like blogging about. I only hope that everything works out and i get rid of all this bad-luck, and bad timing.

Happy Chinese New Years to all!

Thursday, February 3, 2011


Story of my life at night lol

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Jerseys I want - a checklist

  1. Arsenal- Fabregas, Home, Short-Sleeves
  2. Arsenal- Ramsey, Home, Short-Sleeves
  3. Arsenal- Arshavin, Away, Short-Sleeves
  4. Arsenal- Koscielny, Home, Long-Sleeves
  5. Barcelona- Messi, Home, Short-Sleeves
  6. Real Madrid- Kaka, Away, Long-Sleeves
  7. Spain 11/12- Away, Torres, Short-Sleeves
  8. Spain 11/12- Home, Xavi, Short-Sleeves
  9. Spain 10/11- Away, Long-Sleeves
  10. England 06- Home, Owen, Short-Sleeves
  11. Liverpool, Away, Long-Sleeves

Realistically though, the ones I have in bold are the ones I am going to get no matter what. && Probably MOST of the Arsenal ones. Because i just can't have ONE arsenal one.

Just saying.

i want new layout

A Reading Treat

i feel like i haven't blogged in SO long and its gotten to a point where i dont even know where i should start. i'm sorry. ive been so lazy and ive been out and abouts. Guilty as charged! My readers must be dropping like flies. Sobs. Please come back. I promise to update more!!!!! I am pretty disappointed in myself if that makes you guys come back. I will also try to be as entertaining as possible.

STATUS: Its currently 1110pm, and the weather in my room is COLD. My fingers are like icicles and im wearing a hoodie w/ the hood on. What happened to the "supposed" storm anyways? Oh and might i add- im hungee as a fat grizzly bear.


Okay that was a lame intro. Not at ALL up to my usual entertaining par. So here's something entertaining to read before i start.

 It's an actual kijiji ad that u can see here: source or click on the pic for a screen shot.

It says: Wanted: Male
Hey, I'm Emma Finlayson. I'm 17 years old and am looking for a attractive male student (ages 16-18) who would be willing to accompany me to my prom for a couple of hours to take pictures and pose as my prom date. No, I am not a creeper. My friend and I are doing this to prove how stupid prom is, and also need someone to stand next to without looking weird. You can contact me from my email address. Price is flexible
P.S.- A hockey player or someone who likes hockey is preferred.


ANYWAYS. ahhaha. Actual content now.

January totally flew by didn't it? I'm trying to remember what i did but my head is drawing a blank. I do know i did plenty though. And plenty of movies. Ohmygee i watched ALOT of movies in the past month. The Fighter (Worth Seeing, Christian Bale is hilarious), True Grit (I seriously dont know what the hype is with this movie. It has a 98% rating but i thought it was so shitty and i couldnt wait for the movie to end), Black Swan (Disturbing. Loved it), Tangled (Had zero expectations for this movie. Gotta say the "romantic" scene has gots to be by far the most romantic disney scene ever) & Blue Valentine (Tragic. Wouldn't have survived if i watched it 9 months ago). 

Oh yes. I went snowboarding over the weekend @ Blue. And got totally trashed right after wards (as expected). It was totally epic because i actually did not even drink that much (comparatively to my past seriously wasn't even much. i blame it ALL on the fact i didnt eat dinner....again) but got so trashed that everybody thought i was weak sauce and passed out at 1230am. UGH. Total fail.

On the subject of boarding though- J was extremely patient with me during the learning process (even though i was actually a lot shitter when he was around. go figure). M was even more patient with me. Even after i took her down with me 10 million times and wasted half her day on the Big Baby hill, she STILL stuck by me and held my hand the entire way. Note to self (NTS), I owe her a really awesome dinner. At the end of the day i think i did REALLY well in the 6 hours i had though. I completely skipped baby hill,  its moving carpet (lol) &&& the kids on the moving carpet and jumped immediately to the lifts- I think people ought to be proud of me. I was quite determined to learn it though- just for the sake that J is pro at this shit and well yeah, i suppose i gotta at least be able to balance myself to not embarrass him. sighs. I do wish i have the funds to do it again. I think if i am going to do it again though, it would be only to go with the cousin. Otherwise.....i am too poor b/c rentals is a bitch. And rentals hurt my toes. Sad face.

Prior to going boarding though- had a fabulous post-New Years (winterlicious) dinner with the boys. Over dinner, the boys and i have decided to go ahead with plans to head to San Diego for COMIC CON 2011. Not a whole lot of details on that except that its going to be in July, for about 5-6 days, celebrate Coco's birthday while being there and a whole shit load of blogging, exploring and 110% nerding it out!!!!!!!!!! Bahahah Going to be a trip of a life time if it works out. Crosses fingers.

So now. Present day February. It's Chinese New Years eve as of now. Its an hour since i started this entry and i am still not done (and i am still hungry). February is going to be a freakingggggg fast month (aside from the obvious fact that its shorten. duh).

Stuff im looking forward to this month  
(half of which i copied and pasted from A because our schedule is the same)

  • The X and O Vday Partay 
  • Vday
  • FIFA Friendlies! France vs Brazil + Spain, Holland, Germany, England..<3
  • UEFA Champions League - Arsenal vs. Barca (my teams!!!!!!! so torn)
  • WEMBLEY! Arsenal is going to Wembley for the Carling Cup final (!!!)
  • Family day weekend
  • Futbol WAG Evenings w/ A
  • One more Winterlicious Dinner

I actually cannot wait for March to come because of a certain FETE the cousin and lovely R are co-hosting once again. Ohmygod words cannot express the excitement i feel. Last year they held a Graffiti party and it was just insane. This year is going to be messier and bigger i swear. 

STAY TUNED ALERT: I have a whole blog entry im ready to write about for Chinese New Year. That will be for tomorrow. Just saying.

Oh my god i just learnt (from facebook haha) that a friend is engaged. Wow. That's two couples i learned in one night that's newly engaged. and theyre MY age. Dot dot dot. Isn't that so lovely. !@#$

Moving on.

I was reading my cousins blog earlier in the evening re: beast mode, losing weight and all that fun stuff and i'm pretty much on the same boat as she is. If people haven't noticed, but i haven't been loading pictures on facebook. Whenever i don't, it pretty much means that i look like shit and i don't want to display how i look, as selfish as it may sound. During the summer, i can honestly say i was in the best shape i have ever been in my entire life. I did kickboxing twice a week, combated on average 3.5 times a week, attended kettle bell warm-ups twice, hot yoga once a week and weight training 2 or 3 times a week. I was extremely hardcore and it showed in my clothes sizes and pictures. Now i'm back to the fat panda i always have been and it has really put a toll on my self-esteem (that i had very little to begin with) and ive gotten into the "i-only-wear-black" phase because of this recent weight re-gain. I am hungry all the time, especially at night before i sleep and i find myself eating constantly because im sure my stomach has enlarged again therefore it needs that extra food to fill it. Rolls are coming out and my face is as large as a pancake that can feed 4. It really sucks balls but my current work situation and the weather is NOT making it very easy for me to lose that weight again. That said though, i KNOW i can lose it.....but i just like ranting about it. Hopefully the cousin and i can work towards that goal of ours and be damn fit again when the weather gets hotter.

Another side note- I am quite thankful that I have my cousin as my motivational partner when it comes to wanting to lead a more "healthier" lifestyle. Our goals are pretty much the same, our social lifestyle is pretty much the same (we both do enjoy a shot or six) also. In terms of exercising, i find that we both are into high intensity workout regimes. We don't like pilates, we don't like regular yoga or jogging. We both like extreme bootcamp-like shit and i find she is the only person that is able to keep that same high intensity pace up whereas others slow down after half an hour or after 4 man push-ups. I absolutely love that about her (amongst other things of course). I realllllly hope she knows what a tough cookie she is. She's tough and she motivates the shit out of me. I love her for that.

Last but not least.

I forgot how hard it is, to start something new. I completely forgot and i feel myself making the same mistakes again. I don't entirely understand why i allow this to happen again, it just keeps on happening. and here i am, thinking i am so boss of my situation and i won't let it happen again. But the truth is, at the end of the day i'm just going to be that same person that gives too much, expects too much. No matter how much game i speak of, who it is. Clearly i turned out liking you, a lot more than i originally planned.

Okay sleep time. Manager gaves me the day off tmr because of the Snowpocolypse that's FINALLY occurring.

 Someone that took a pic of the storm DT and tweeted it as of 1:26am

Taking advantage of this by being productive, applying for jobs tomorrow morning, more blogging, figuring out which Arsenal jersey (finally!!!!!!!!!!!!!) i will be ordering while sipping on delish Korean Brown Rice Green tea, Forever nuts tea and chomping away on my Starbucks caramel macchiato biscottis that i purchased earlier tonight.

OUTS! Hope the read made up for the lack.

tweeet tweeet