A couple posts back, i shared a quote- They say everything happens for a reason, but what they don't tell you is that you may never know what that reason is.
I kind of take that back because i actually do believe that things do happen for a reason, it would be revealed in the future through actions. Things happen for the better.
The other day i went out and chilled with S, something i haven't done in a very, very long time. Most people don't understand how I can stay friends with an ex. It was a bit more complicated with him (because of his unfaithfulness that was the downfall of our relationship) which raises many eyebrows to why we are still able to remain great friends. No idea but we are. I can honestly say he is still one of the few people that knows me best even though we do not talk all that much. Things are not awkward nor are they weird. I talk about my relationship issues openly, he not so much (haha) but that's understandable.I find him to be a better friend than a boyfriend/partner. So that day we ended up going clothes shopping because he asked for a little help in that area. He doesn't know this but i have always wanted to go clothes shopping with him since/while we were dating but we never got a chance to until the other day. It was quite fun (for i do love shopping very much) because he didn't really have a budget so I was able to kind of play dress-up with him. I hope his girlfriend likes the shit i picked out haha. Awkward......
ANYHOOOOO
Its weird how things work out because the things i have ALWAYS wanted to do with someone while we were "together" as a couple always happens AFTER when we are only friends. I think its pretty ironic that it works out that way. When it does happen i only smile and think "Hey, life isnt all that bad after all. THIS eventually did happen. Better late than never." At least i could make peace with that inner "what if" question. The reasons are ALWAYS revealed in one form or another.
I mean its not just this one incident but a few times before too.
A good example of another time was when i was able to spend Vday with 6453 AFTER i made peace with "us" not being able to be together. It was seriously like a dream come true but the feelings i had were very different. It was very bittersweet but peaceful at the same time. I dont talk to 6453 anymore but during the period that i did, i also did find him to be a better "friend" (that i can never have haha) than what we had when we were checking. He was bad for me. An addicting drug is how I like to describe it now. People knew that, saw it. He definitely is better to be left in the past.
When those things happen, it makes me rethink the occurrence of certain events and as hard as they were, im glad that it happened for the better future.If all those did not happen, i would never have become the person i am today. I would probably be less bitter. haha but definitely not the person l'll be right now.
I guess the purpose of me blogging about this, is a validation to myself that when things happen for a reason, though it may be painful, tough and confusing- that reason WILL eventually be clear.
I don't expect people to understand.
MOVING ON.
BIG DAY TMR. ITS DO OR DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Please. PLEASE. prayyyyy and send your messages/txts/pins/emails of love/prayers/gLucks lollllll
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