Hey cousin, guess what?

i love you. thats all.
now lets go do some work LOL.

Something Borrowed

About a month ago, the trailer for this novel "Something Borrowed" was released. My first impression of the trailer/movie was that its a pretty cute chick romance flick and probably WILL end up seeing it just because. The thing is that i've never read the book despite it being the top book to read on every girls list and been out for so long. Most of the girls aren't surprised that I haven't read it because "chick" novels are not exactly my think whereas i prefer mysteries, drama and erm, wizards/vampires/teenagers killing each other (i lump them all in one category because everyone does lol) haha. So i had no plans of reading it whatsoever and will depend heavily on the critique of girlfriends whom has and will allow them to point out to me how faithful the movie was to the book. Something i was completely fine with.

Until this:

I won advance screening tickets (!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) to the movie through a blog contest that C told me to enter. I entered it not expecting to win (because i don't ever win anything) and the next thing you know i get an e-mail telling me i wonnnnnnnn. I really did not expect this advance screening to be much. I mean its shown two days before release night, how special can it be right? Ha. So it appears to be a tad more special than that because (as you can see in the above pic) the actor who plays Dex (the main guy in the novel) will be making a special appearanceeeeeeeeee. Bwhahaha. I totally experienced a fan girl moment when i saw that line of text in red and bold. Oh em geeeeeee. The guy is a GORGEOUS 38 year old. This means i must straighten the hair fo shuree now haha. and maybe wear a dress.

On another note- i did finish the book and fak it was GOOOOD. The way it was written is similar to Sex and the City, and everyone knows Sex and the City to me is a visual bible. Anything Carrie Bradshaw says is golden and sacred. Thus, this book is pretty effing awesome too.

Quick plot summary:
The novel centers around the protagonist and narrator, Rachel White, a thirty-year-old single woman who is a consummate good-girl. She and Darcy Rhone have been best friends since childhood, and hard-working Rachel is often in the shadow of flashy, sometimes ALWAYS selfish Darcy. Then, after a night of drinking on Rachel's thirtieth birthday, she sleeps with Darcy's fiance, Dex. After this turns into an affair, Rachel explores the meaning of friendship, true love, and ethics. - Courtesy of WIKIPEDIA.

Right, so I can relate to it in several aspects.

One the whole 30 year old and single thing. I so see that happening to me and its going to suck ox balls. In the novel, the protagonist talked about how every girl dreams to be a 20s bride and have that beautiful family and house with the white fence around it by 30. But shit happens and the next thing you know, you're 28 and starting to freak the shit out until you actually hit 30 and that's when botox and lavalife commercials seems intriguing. Its really not that glamorous to be successful but single. Sure you can afford 14 dollar Caesars and bone a different guy every night but the party lifestyle can get tiresome. I would know, i've been living that lifestyle (being unemployed but having a sufficient income from the government) for almost a year now and i'm only twenty four. (Note: not saying i bone a different guy every night HA). I digress. So in the novel she's hit 30 and she's single. It sucks. That is- until she bones the guy shes been in love with for 7 years aka her bff's fiancee.
Two being cheated on. Another thing that sucks ox (or maybe buffalo) balls. Being cheated on is perhaps the worst thing in the world. The feeling of betrayal is so overwhelming and suffocating that adjectives just doesn't cut it. Which is why i am completely unsure on whether i agree with the main protagonist having an affair with her bff's boyfriend. No matter how much i hate the bff (whoms a major bitch id cut), it's just not cools. Its hard to judge because the plot is so much more complicated but at the end of the day, cheating is wrong. I strongly believe in Karma and how it can and will sneak up on you and bite you in the ass and you will have no one to blame but yourself. I'm tres cynical aren't i.
Three being the plain jane in the group. I don't care what anyone says- i have always been the larger, taller, bigger, uncooler one. I know what it feels like to live in the shadows. I know what it feels like when the guy likes your best friend and not you, or they they're talking to you just so you can be the wingman for them and one of your girls. Been there, done that. Maybe that's why I choose to live a certain lifestyle, just so i can be more special. Nobody likes dorks anyways when you can have a pretty fun girl. The type of guys i like anyways. HA. I DIGRESS AGAIN. I feel myself going emo again lol.

SO YES. FANTASTIC BOOK. Starting the 2nd book now. Hopefully its just as good. I heard that one of the characters i liked in the first book will have a bigger role in the second one. I am talking about Ethan, if anyone cares.

THAT SAID.

The dude with the arrow beside him is John Krasinski, and he's playing the character whom i am currently in live with (Ethan). I'm not sure why John Krasinski is part of the "main cast" because he doesn't really play that big of a role in the novel (not so sure about the 2nd book though) but HEY. I'M NOT COMPLAINING because i am IN LOVEEEEEE with him. I've come to a conclusion (this may change after reading the 2nd book) that if i was to marry a Caucasian guy, it would be a guy with a personality like the dude in the novel and looks like him.

Yeahhhhh. Geeky and wholesome as apple pie. So my cup of tea. 

Holey, i just realized i typed up an ESSAY. I really did NOT meant it to be that way. I also didn't mean it to be so damn emo either. I guess enjoy the read because it was totally accidental.

Wings and beer w/ some good company tmr evening. Paper shopping et Beastmode avec zee cousin first though. I will potentially be doing something extremely brave tomorrow. Will blog about it when it happens.

outz.

PACKED

LOL poor eeeyore. He's SO angry. hahah

Schedule for the next two weeks:
Fri- S's Birthday
Sat- Brunch date avec zee girls, Tim Burton Exhibit, dinner et drinks.
Sun- Arsenal v Liverpool game en Scally for brunch
Mon- Papa anniversaire
Tue- Italian Dinnah Date avec lover <3
Wed- Arsenal v Spuds game/ El Clasico game en Scally (again)
Thurs- M's Birthday (maybe....i might pass depending on how EXHAUSTED i am)
Fri- J's Birthday

Yeah. I really don't think i have time to do ANY "real" blogging. I'm sorry kids!

maybe l'll load a pic of each of my outings.

WE SHALL SEEEEEEEEEE.

Differences between friends & best friends

FRIENDS: Will comfort you when he rejects you.

BEST FRIENDS: Will go up and ask him, “It’s because you’re gay, isn’t it?”
FRIENDS: Will be there for you when he breaks up with you.
BEST FRIENDS: Will call him up and whisper, “you will die in Seven days…”
FRIENDS: Help you up when you fall.
BEST FRIENDS: Keeps on walking saying, “Walk much, dumb ass?”
FRIENDS: Help you find your prince.
BEST FRIENDS: Kidnap him and brings him to you.
FRIENDS: Will ask you if you’re okay when you’re crying.
BEST FRIENDS: Will laugh at you and say, “Ha Ha, Loser!”
FRIENDS: Will offer you a soda.
BEST FRIENDS: Will dump theirs on you.
FRIENDS: Will sit at the side of the pool with you at that time of the month.
BEST FRIENDS: Will throw you a tampon and push you in.
FRIENDS: Gives you their umbrella in the rain.
BEST FRIENDS: Takes yours and says, “Run, fucker, run!”
FRIENDS: Will help you move.
BEST FRIENDS: Will help you move the bodies.
FRIENDS: Will bail you out of jail.
BEST FRIENDS: Would be in the room next to you saying, “That was awesome! Let’s do it again!”
FRIENDS: Would bail you out of jail again
BEST FRIENDS: Would be sitting next to you saying “DAMN!” we messed up!
FRIENDS: Never ask for anything to eat or drink.
BEST FRIENDS: Help themselves and are the reason why you have no food.
FRIENDS: Call your parents by Mr. and Mrs. and Grandpa, by Grandpa.
BEST FRIENDS: Call your parents DAD and MOM and Grandpa, GRAMPS!
FRIENDS: Have never seen you cry.
BEST FRIENDS: Wont tell everyone else you cried…just laugh about it with you in private when your not down anymore.  <= bwahahah Twin.
FRIENDS: Asks you to write down your number.
BEST FRIENDS: Have you on speed dial.
FRIENDS: Borrows your stuff for a few days then gives it back.
BEST FRIENDS: Loses your stuff and tells you, “My bad…here’s a tissue.”
FRIENDS: Only know a few things about you.
BEST FRIENDS: Could write a very embarrassing biography on your life story…
FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
BEST FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowd’s ass that left you
FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
BEST FRIENDS: Walk right in and say “I’M HOME.”
FRIENDS: You have to tell them not to tell anyone.
BEST FRIENDS: Already know not to tell.
FRIENDS: Are only through high school/college. (aka: drinking buddies)
BEST FRIENDS: Are for life.
FRIENDS: Will be there to take your drink away from you when they think you’ve had enough.
BEST FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place & say “Girl drink the rest of that ! You know we don’t waste!

My Gift to you all- Merry Christmas

Oh its been a while boys and girls. A while since ive actually really sat down and really wanted to "blog". There has been so many blog-worthy topics and moments over the past weeks but my laziness has gotten the better of me and since this Wednesday, the cold-bug has gotten the best of me. I still feel like poo but thank god for this thing called Tylenol Sinus and Cold, i am able to function.

Today is Christmas Eve as we all know. I officially started typing this around 10pm. I hope by midnight i would have this completed with something juicy and entertaining for you to read as a Christmas gift from me to you. Please do forgive me for the terrible grammer and lack of cohesion because i am still pretty drugged & stuffed up.

Lets back-track shall we?

I promised people a MIAMI post. HAHA oh dear i am so sorry. But i find it kind of pointless to blog the details of the trip when those i actually care about and DO talk to- already know the details of it and i dont want to be redundant. That said though l'm still going to talk about it briefly in an overview sense rather than- what we did on what day and what we ate on what time.

As everyone know, i went to South Beach Miami with one of my best girls C, as a mini getaway for an extended long weekend. We stayed at a beautiful hotel that was literally minutes away from the ocean and another few minutes away from this popular shopping/entertainment/restaurant strip call Lincoln Shopping Strip. Both of us has gone through what we felt like life has done us wrong again (relationship and career-wise). For many evenings prior to our trip it was literally like deja vu where she would be smoking outside on my driveway and we both would just pour our hearts out to each other - just like almost 6 years ago. Where life again played us as fools. Anyways being doomed together, we thought "Hey why not take our doom-ness to somewhere HAWT". Hence the idea was form and we were on a plane to Florida! It was ironic (but not shocking) that we felt many of the same emotions as we left Toronto together on a plane and many scenic things reminded us of certain things. Our trip consisted of us exploring, eating, drinking, shopping, tanning, partying, counting how many pairs of homosexual men that we saw in the remaining duration of our trip.

FYI Kids- South Beach is not a place to get laid. Unless your a guy.

Seriously! Nothing against gays but there was WAY too many that it was a BIT overwhelming. Perhaps it was an underground festival that we did not know about? WHO KNOWS. Maybe boys should tell me that would you ever go shopping/strolling with your bff down a popular tourist strip? I really want to know. Over 80 "suspected" homosexual couples counted within one meal is A LOT if you ask me. 

Another observation- the men that parties there are GENTLEMEN.

They are far from the usual douchey, pushy, obnoxious BOYS in Toronto. I was fairly impressed by the two groups of men that asked us to join their party at this club call Mansion (highly recommended if you are into Hiphop, top40 and oldschool socca....at the end of the night. obvs.) and their mannerism. Sure they aren't lookers and were a bit older than we were but their politeness was what won me over! Thank you Montreal Guy from Room 1 and Black Guy from Room 2! lol

The trip was far, far too short. The weather was amazing. Being able to dine outside in a maxi dress in the middle of December is really something. One thing i did during the trip though was really thought things over. I can go on hating life and fate but i can also take it as a lesson or just another punch thrown at me and stand right back up. I completely admit when we were flying back i felt incrediably sad. I looked out and it was gloomy like that very day, around the same time too and i recalled how happy i was because after a great vacation i was coming home to something. Not this time- i was coming home to nothing ("metaphorically", not "literally") and it was a sharp stab. That said i completely snapped out of it because there's absolutely nothing to be sad about (except from maybe my Job and Weight issue haha). I understand now.

 ive come to understand that there is no suffering if you do neither.
why would anyone want to forget the good times and let time dance by you as you do that? That to me is suppressing, not accepting. It's one choice to choose to suffer. It's also one's choice to put an end to it.

For those interested: I don't feel remotely awkwardness blogging about how i feel even though I know that he comes by here sometimes to read up on what random stuff i have to share. I consider this a growing process and what Junior calls- a mature confession. I'm not asking for ANYONE to hold my hand or AW at me when i talk about this. Blogging has always been my outlet and i do feel much better each time i type it all out. I also think this is why after so many years, people still come by and read my blog. Its because i'm real and i blog about what's real. I don't hide what i feel, if i slip - i admit that i slip. if im on the floor sobbing, i will admit it too. I can go on forever on this topic but l'll leave it here because theres soooooo much more i want to blog about lol

I DIGRESS.

During the trip I confessed many things to her and i feel like we understand each other a lot more. One thing is for sure though- i now stand by even more and have faith that one day things will work out for you C. You are strong, a fighter and again this is just one of those blowouts that will turn into an eventual win for you. A win that will be for life. Greater things have yet to come for you. Love you lots!

Totally random kids, but for my girl readers.
You guys know that i'm not big on purses and bags right? I'm all about vintage purses and hobo bags. But after seeing these two pictures.

Wow. Pure class. 

I totally want a chanel bag now. Especially the BLUE one. Holymoly. I wonder if its real? Can anyone confirm for me? Anyhoo that's just a thought.

Let's see what else is up. Oh yes- the other day i went engagement ring shopping with someone (for the nature and secrecy of the proposal....i cannot disclose how close i am to this person because it would be busted if the girlfriend EVER comes by my blog) and it was SO educational. Who knew diamonds can be SO complex? Okay bad question, it is complex. Its not like buying romaine lettuce (okay maybe it is. LOL INSIDE JK ONLY jay siu & K understands).....where u can just CHOOSE something. So here i was walking around claiming to be his xxxxxx (again, cannot reveal the nature. might compromise the secrecy) and im asked to try on the rings for him. Man, i hate engagement rings. For someone like me that is so into weddings i absolutely HATE them. I feel like they are unnecessary and as ive expressed my opinion many times before, i think my future husband should just effing skip the engagement ring and buy me a really beautiful diamond crested thick thick wedding band. Then spend the duration of the money on photography. hahaha just saying. We made our rounds around Yorkdale and it was SO brutal and draining. All that sparkle totally blinded me. I was glad to finally had my delicious Caesar, YARD of beer (fuckery i think i have a small liking for beer now) and Poutineeeeee at Honest Lawyers with xxxxx (no need to explain right?) joining us shortly. Overall it was a great day - im whole-heartedly honoured to be the one you chose to ask to go ring shopping. I really can't wait for the wedding. I think it would be very heart-wrenching.

But wow. It is almost midnight, this entry really did almost take two hours to write. Back to present day being Christmas Eve. I really thought today was going to be depressing. This year (aside from being brutally sick for the past couple of days!!!! omgosh) i opted out to go to ANY family outtings. To those that talk to me on a regular basis would know why so i don't want to repeat. That said things were done traditionally....for a very long time. Suddenly i have no idea what to do since the tradition is no longer in place. That said i am forever grateful for my day today. I was actually.....not sad. lol I've actually been...pretty happy lately. Thank you.

So here I am now, all snugged up in my germ-infested bed, my Forever Nuts (nom nom nom) tea with a gigantic dash of honey and a pill im ready to take to knock myself out - but not before i make my rounds of Merry Christmas via text/bbm/fb.

One thing i must say though before i end this- holy shit i AM giving a fuck. Taking it one day at a time.

No such thing as getting burned again yo. Not for me....

WoooOOO dont you guys love open-ended, metaphorical ramblings from me?!??

Tis officially 12:00am people.

Merry Christmas everyone!!!!!!!!!

Stay beautiful. Thanks for staying with me. Hope you all enjoyed the glamorous, belated post! Expected a similiarly long/longer post to close the New Years (ive even started writing a bit of it!).

Be excited!!!!

My drugs are next to me. After seeing C its K/O for me!

outs.

BACK

Yesh. OBVIOUSLY i am back because i noticed my hits jumped 300% since i declared on facebook that l have a miami post coming. hahah

i dont have something done up yet......but i will soon!!!!

Overall though- fabulous time. I love you lots C!!! =]




playing with fire again

Goodbye Snow

Miami in roughly 20 hours? YESHHHHH.

And if we "happen" to come by here?

Expect me to be effing INKED yo.

 

Not sure if i will have data. (I have yet to call Rogers to figure that one out)
But if i do its ONLY going to be for e-mails, Twitter and BBM. So if you want to stalk and see what im up to. You can here:

http://www.twitter.com/dorkkly

OUTS!

Oh so cold

Hmm feels like i havnt blogged in a while - you guys are in for a treat. i am in total blogging mode so theres stuff for you guys to actually read instead of fffound pictures or random spur of the moment thoughts i have.

Currently i am at my usual Starbucks, freezing my ass off because i am sitting RIGHT by the door (for plugs...or else i would not torture myself like that) at the handicap table with my iced cold drink (that my SB crush made for me......he has never made me a drink so im quite happy).

Quick Side Story of my Life- so one of the main reasons why i go to this SB (aside from it USUALLY having free plugs and its closest to my house) is because i have a huge crush on one of the baristas here. I swear i sit here and he probably catches me staring at him with my lustful creepy hungry eyes. Anyways the funny thing is that he is no futbol player-looking guy but this skinny lil fobby guy. The funnier thing is that i actually blush (seriously, Kay blush? ah. doesnt happen) and STUTTER when i do my ordering. Its like my brain goes into retard mode and i forget how to speak or something. I think the absolute worst part is when i order i mess up my drink orders. I recall this one time i ordered a MEDIUM iced green tea. He just smiled politely and punched in a tall for me. It was a very FML moment because its such a rookie mistake!!! Not even rookie! NOOB. Pure Starbucks Noob Fail right there. Especially because i am there OFTEN, he KNOWS i am not a noob. UGH. Thinking about it makes me embarrassed.

I also noticed that he tries to avoid taking or making my order. It makes me very sad.

But that just makes me that much more smitten and attracted to him. haha.

Watch he's probably 18. Apparently ive taken an interest in youngins lately. Its major Pedo Bear alert.

I digress. Back to my time at Starbucks.

......Hoping that i can get some blogging done before i head home for dinner. I find Starbucks is a great cure for hangovers but today i think i might just get a cold instead from all these fuckers that keeps on opening the door so much. Seriously people, do you need to open the door THAT WIDE??

Ive also been trying to download this one file since 1pm (2 hours later) ive restarted it THREE times already. Fuck. Not meant to be or something?!?!

Anyways, last night was K's highly anticipated amazing 25th Birthday Party that we've been planning for since JUNE. I am so glad that it went so smoothly and it was so so much fun. There was so much stress involved in the prep from envelope fuck ups (my fault), venue issue, and other stuff and to see it come together and everyone enjoying themselves (especially K) is a great satisfaction. The place we went to was really nice. Somehow K also managed to get herself a DJ which changed the mood of the party completely and because of that i got much more intoxicated than i planned to. Happy 25th Birthday dear!!! I hope it was absolutely amazing!!!! =]]]

That said just a quick retrack. LAST weekend was my lovely cousin's 24th birthday @ an ASIAN KARAOKE place. From what i do recall, it was actually most of the guy's first time at an Asian Karoke so it was nice to see that they enjoyed themselves. Being the wonderful cousin i am, i went ahead and prepped as many surprises as my limited bank account allowed me to do. And obviously i got myself plastered almost as badly as she did (PWHAHA) and met myself a couple of new fob friends. I love meeting people who enjoys singing sad chinese songs in public places with me. There aren't many of those out there.  But yes, Happy 24th Birthday to my Cousin!!!!! Next year is going to be EPIC. I know it!!!!!

Pics to come for both events on fb soon!

There's THREE more days until Miami!!!!!!!!!!!!! And i know it is going to FLY because i have something to do every single one of those days until the day of my flight. There's SO much i need to do but i am EXCITED out of my mind. C and I need this trip. Desperately.

Re-Evaluation

Precisely why i need this Miami trip more than ever with someone who is probably the only person in the world at the moment that understands.

Miami Beach, Florida December 9-12!

24th Birthday

Let me start off by saying how i felt before i went out for dinner last night.

I stayed home the other night and welcomed my 24th birthday alone. For the past 3 birthdays i have spent it with the ex-mister (or at least he would have been the first person i received a phone call from) but obviously that would not have been the case this year.  I was surprisingly not sad or anything like that but rather i was very indifferent towards that matter. I stayed home, still trying to recover from Halloween and spent the evening reading up on the Barcelona team and hot team members' interviews. Obvs when midnight hit i get that wave of texts/pins/bb fb notifications that somebody has written on my wall or pm's were waiting to be read from then until now. I appreciate every single one of you who took the time to text me, to message me, and to call. I will slowly get back to everybody (on fb) once the day is over.

Anyways, still feeling indifferent through-out the day but a tadddd bit more cheerful than most years. To those who doesn't know this but i actually do not like celebrating my birthday at all. I mean in past years, how many birthday "party" of mine have you attended? Probably zero. Birthday dinners.....meeeeh ya perhaps one on one. But that's about it. This year however i've actually made plans to do stuff with people as a "group" because truth be told, i was afraid that l'll get horribly emotionally depressed at the fact that i had "no one" to spend my birthday with anymore. A part of me was terribly afraid of being alone and was afraid of not being use to that "loneliness". Which was why i made plans to have a highly anticipated lesbian dinner with K, MWDC with the Kids, Meet-Up w/ C, Century Room Clubbing, Lunch with the Boys, Dinner w/ Twin at some point and more clubbing next week. Pretty eventful right??? I thought being less of a social hermit this year would do me some good. Yesterday i went abouts with my day combating, watching soccer and doing my nails haha seems like thats ALLL i do doesnt it? Minus the starbucks part (UGH which i SHOULD have went to because its a free drink on your bdayyyyy).

Evening falls, K shows up at my doorsteps with flowers like the PERFECT date (hahah) i felt myself go red like a little school girl even though it was not a guy lol we journeyed to the Italian bistro and it was funny because she said she wanted to get gas but......we never did. That should have been a trigger for suspicions but since i'm not a very intuitive kind of person i just let it go. Get to the restaurant, waiter lead to our table and then,

BAM.

there they were- C, J, A and Cousin sitting there.

The moment was SUCH a blur. I don't know whether it was the shock, or the dim warm-sexy-lightings, or the fact i had on contacts on and i can't see as well with them or maybe even a combination of everything but my brain actually did not register at all what was happening. I stood there with thoughts racing through my head like, "Omg is that really Twin sitting next to the girl that looks like Cousin?!? No, can't be. Holy shit that girl looks like C but it can't be here?!?! And there is nooooooooooo way that's Bestest." UHHH. TWILIGHT ZONE (but not the TWILIGHT that i like with the Cullens haha) much?!?!?! This wasn't suppose to happen until i get married?!?! I'M CONFUZZZLED YO.

Being the big dork i am and somewhat making sense of the situation (complete delayed reaction) i made a scene and swore so loudly in shock that probably the chefs in the kitchen heard me. (I'm sorry).

 Dork.

Turns out the girls (sneaky) have been talking to each other (behind my back!!!!!) for MONTHS planning to get together while here i was thinking how in the world am i going to introduce everyone. I cannot describe how i felt at that moment. Even now a couple of hours later i am still speechless and weepy. At that moment i wanted to cry soooo badly because i was extremely moved and overwhelmed with happiness. But i didn't because Twin gave me the "If you cry l'll punish you severely" eye. haha  Remember what i said earlier about afraid of being alone? When i saw the girls all there in the same room as me it made me feel so so stupid. Like how did i ever think they would ever let me spend my first birthday after a breakup, alone. It's so ridiculous how i even thought that would happen. I'm so grateful for having them in my life and simply by them doing this for me made my friendship with them even more valuable.

Time flies SO quickly. I've known some of these girls since i was 8.

I'm also really glad EVERYBODY got along. Haha. I guess that was one of my fears too, that a big cat fight would break out or something because all the girl's have very easy-going distinct personalities but at the same time they are also very, very blunt (funny, i'm not) so they don't take shit from anyone which can cause problems lol Dinner was extremely fun. I enjoyed myself tremendously and i hope you girls did too. I can't wait to load up the pictures!!!!!!!!!!!!

Now, feelings after dinner.

I went through all the cards after dinner at home and the two things that was common in all the girl's cards was the words- Big Changes in your Life. & You will Good again. And that touched me very deeply because its true. So much has changed this year and it has broke so many of my hopes, my ability in believing in certain things and to an extent even my character. I'm sure they know and can see how hard i've been struggling to fight for the past half year. But for them to be there along the way to encourage me and believe in me- it makes all the difference in the world. It makes facing the unknown that less scary.

I know ALL of you are reading this. Thank you K for planning this. You are beyond amazing. Thank you girls for showing up, for spending so much money when you really don't need to (seriously) on me, for showing unconditional support and love. I really don't mean to sound like such a sap but seriously i gotta get it outta my system. Thank you for absolutely everything, i appreciate it SO so much even though i can be a bit of a weird turd sometime. This is the type of Sex and the City bonds/friendship every girl wants and i feel so fortunate to have five.

I love you girls. You girls give me hope.

...................and the partying continues biatches!!!!!!!!!!!!

Best Birthday.....EVER

I have a SUPERRRR LONGGGGGG blog post written up last night.

But i can't post it without pictures.

Cough. Cousin.........Bestest........

haha

This was seriously the BEST birthday EVER. I really don't think anything else can top this.

Await the entry! It's epic and sappy. haha

Dialogue

To remember as time (and old age) will eventually destroy random memories.
Completely randomness on MSN

Twin says (12:46 AM):
 do u like dogs? do you like cats?
Me says (12:46 AM):
 depends
 i dont perfer animals
 unless its a panda
 LOL
Twin says (12:46 AM):
 panda's are dangerous
Me says  (12:46 AM):
 not if they r with their own kind
 i consider myself a panda
Twin says (12:47 AM):
 HAHAHAHAHAHAH wtf
Me says  (12:47 AM):
 HAHAHAHHAHA

We are so crazy.

今日本來是三年半

Anesthetics shut your senses off. Deaden yourself to what is happening.
- How i would love some right now

One of my closest friends is going through an unexpected breakup. I look at her and i see me in every way possible. And it kills. Something we both will never understand is how one can give you so much hope and faith in believing there is a future and in a slap of a face think otherwise. The irony in both her and i's situation is so frightening and uncanny. I wish i can make her believe that the days do get easier because it has been a bit easier. I hope i am of some sort of comfort. I love you lots dear. You're a fighter. Let's keep fighting together. As hopeless as things seems to be, we're going to get through this...

i tell myself that every single effing day.

Attack of the Hambugers

AN UPDATE.

FINALLY.

I know. I'm sorry. I have been so so lazy especially today for some reason. I even missed my 1215 combat class because i didn't get up in time to be productive.

Anyhoo. Plenty to rant about, plenty for youS to read. I actually blogged abouts several things since last Wednesday but have been totally putting it off because i've been pretty busy. Life is definitely moving forward with many things happening and i'm pretty content with the many "things" i have to tend to.

So as far as my memory can take me..........

• Met up with Jleung for dimsum and flying.
  I remember when i use to get a little angry that he's always the 3rd wheel when i was with the prior-mister. Now thinking back, i feel uber guilty and ridiculous that i would get upset over something so trivial. I'm glad that we're still friends despite all that has happened. We went for dim sum at Pearl and it was the most expensive dim sum i've ever had (to date). God it was outrageous to pay 6 bucks for Hai Gow!!! Craziness. Even T&T sells it for only 2 bucks and to be honest it kinda tasted the same. I guess i'm paying for the view (which was very nice fyi). Of course during our brunch, he did his Quarterly Check-Up and Maintenance work on my BB. ^^ Patched it up and now its operating good as new!!! (With the exception of the ACCIDENT that almost costed me a bb which will be later discussed....) Then he spontaneously decides to take me on a city tour...IN THE AIR. Its like the coolest thing ever to have a friend that can operate a plane. We walked to the Toronto Islands Airport (the weather was soooo nice) and he did his thing and took us up. It was pretty cool. I've never seen J so serious at something because he's normally petty jokes and laid back lol It was a gooood experienceeeeee. Probably going to meet up again when he's back from HK and has me a solar-power device that can charge my BB!!! It was a pretty awesome day. I am glad i made that effort to meet up.
  
  
• Jess's Farewell @ Spice Route.
  I actually am not very fond of that restaurant but the lounge area turned to be a lot better than their dining area. J was completely plastered and i had a really good time even though we left a bit earlier. I got my buzz, i dressed up and (thought) i looked good, lots of camera whoring. We got tequila shots on the house (courtesy of the cousin and our sneaky ways), bottle (courtesy of the cousin's bf). It was a VERY pleasant night. I want picturesssss.
  
  
• Bloor West Date with K and J
  Met up with the girls for really good Hamburgers at Yellow Griffin Pub (they are famous for having 35 different types of burgers which includes a Peanut Butter and Jam one) over at the Bloor West end. The trip was also to check out a venue for her bday. The venue surprisingly looks extremely rustic (in a good way) and i'm surprised with how much i like it and the many things i can do to it to give K the best 25th bday a girl can have. Afterwards we went to Sweet Flour and baked a cookie that almost killed us 3 because of all the sugar and butter in one small pastry.....but personally i think its worth it because Salted Caramel is something worth dying for. 
• We watched the Vampires Suck movie
  If people did not know what this movie was about, it's basically a movie poking at/making fun of Twilight

Yes. The movie poster TOTALLY says it all doesn't it. Being the devoted and loyal Twilight fan that i am, i felt i should watch it to see what people/non-fans feel about the franchise and what is there to make fun of since...i feel like....there IS nothing to make fun of.....haha I shouldn't be SO narrow-minded right? No. I SHOULD have been narrow minded and said NO to the movie because not even two minutes into the movie, i face palmed myself and then fell asleep about 40 minutes into the movie. It was a HUGE Twilight fan fail. Haha anyways i am glad J and K enjoyed the movie though. It would have been downright epic fail if they hated it too. lol

Thoughhhhhhh i gotta say, Ken Jeong was the highlight of the movie. This man is seriously the funniest moveable, talkable human being on the face of this earth. Even his face is funny looking. hahah i enjoyed HIS parts (that i did not miss when i was actually awake). HA HA FAIL.
The evening ended with us heading over to the Milestone Bar for apps and drinks. I love these two, i always such fun and relaxing girls day with them. <3

• Job Interview Prep/Actual Interview with CI
  Okay so this was pretty interesting. I received a posting for the position last Wednesday and this was seriously the first job posting (since the Disney Creative Intern post.....that i regretfully missed due to bigger issues i was dealing with at the time) in a very long time that caught my eye. That said under Junior's advice i aimed to get my CV into their inbox before Thursday. Unfortunately for me, the state my resume and CL was in, it was NOT ready to be sent to anybody. So in between gymming and going out to see people, i pulled 3am nights just for this particular position at my dream company. Sent it in with complete confidence (along with two other company postings) but to my horror, i noticed that the company posted an external post on Monster. Obviously they are going to get a zillion better CVs and mine is going to be lost in the pile.
  
  To my surprise though, they actually called me back for a phone interview (that i have tweeted and somewhat mentioned before) that i felt like i completely bombed. Even more devastated now (then), i went ahead and did a personality index assessment that they requested and was basically not expecting a call back for a 2nd interview. I think i got really lucky because the day i was out with J, i received an e-mail request for a 2nd interview. This drove me into work mode and i began prepping my portfolio for the interview and even had to cancel my shopping date with C (i'm sorry again dear) because it took so much time to prepare and print.
  
  My interview was yesterday and i hate to type it but i really don't think i got the job. I don't think the interviewer girl liked me, she did not seem impressed and last but not least, i did NOT do a good job of "marketing"/selling myself. I later learned in the elevator (as i was leaving) from someone who worked there that the interviewer is some big shot Marketer chick that won a prestigious award for being Marketer of the year or something similar to that (from the Canadian Marketing Association). You guys should have seen my face. It was seriously a big FML moment. If i knew that marketing myself would have been THAT crucial (yes i know that is important too but not your-chance-at-being-hired-ois-on-the-line important when your interviewer is apparently CANADIAN MARKETER OF THE YEAR), i would have worked on my "TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF" speech instead of the "WHY DO YOU WANT TO WORK FOR US" speech. ARGHH. FML.
  
  I've wanted to work for this company since 3rd year (they offered a design competition and winner gets obviously the glory of winning but also an internship) and when i didn't "win" an internship with them, i was seriously crushed for weeks. I remember the boys taking me out for buffet lunches to cheer me up and it stung a lot when i saw whom i lost to (i hate that asshole) and the "design" i lost to. It sucked even more when the interviewer actually remembered the winner and brought his name up during the interview. SIGHS. It was like reopening a wound....IN THE MIDDLE OF AN INTERVIEW. I don't know whether l'll be able to handle another rejection from them. I think it might actually drive me into a emo frenzy crazy mode.
  
  None the less tho, do pray for me. The position and the projects that the hired designer gets to work on sounds unbelievably amazing.
  
  
• My BB Crisis
  For the past couple of days i experienced one of the most devastating thing EVER- which was the ALMOST LOSS of my Blackberry. God it was soooo dreadful using a flip phone (who uses that anymore?!??!?). Basically my keyboard went crazy wonky and eventually just didn't even respond anymore. What happened was i knocked over a cup of ice water and it spilled on the BB. On TOP of that. I do have a habit of bringing it in the showers to talk to Twin (hey she does it TOOO) so there was already moisture damage.....the cup of water just pushed it over the edge that's all. Anyways so here i am trying to repair it and freaking out on Jleung. I was told by him (and a number of others too) to put it into a bucket of rice for 3-5 days and it should be okay? Since when was this a remedy?!?! I am SO out of the loop. I was pretty skeptical but i had nothing to lose since it felt like i lost a part of my life already. Still, i was left with nothing but a freaking flipphone- no net, no email, no pinning, no QWERTY keyboard. Sobs. Thnx the lord, A was able to grab me a Pearl from work. I survived on a downgraded Pearl for THREE days. It was torture. Absolute torture.
  
  But this story has a happy ending because i took it outta the rice box yesterday and IT ACTUALLY WORKS.
  
  PRAISE THE LORD FOR INVENTING THIS THING CALL RICE.
  
  holyshiet who knew that it was going to work!?!?? wow. This method totally saved me a couple of hundred (that i can spend ELSEWHERE giggle giggle) from buying a replacement phone (A White BB Bold to be specific.....that i am still going to get eventually......).
  
  I swear i am going to treat it with care and more love then before.
  

Random jots of thoughts:

• Borrowed two seasons of the Office. Will start that soon!
• The cousin and bf is in Vancouver. I hope they're having a blast. I'm very envious.
• This appears to be the Year of the Breakups. Add on three more recent ones. This year is cursed. I am telling all you people who are still in relationships. It might be you guys next...........not to be cynical or anything. 
• Oh yes, i FINALLY booked my G2 road test. Let's hope i pass it and not be the last 23 year old in Toronto that doesn't have their g2!!!!!
• TIFF is about to start in a couple of weeks. 
• Celebrities to stalk for: RYAN GOSLING, Josh Hartnett, James Franco, Ryan Reynolds, Penn Badgley, Jackson Rathbone. Only chick i care enough to stalk: Blake Lively. haahaaa. 
• I need to load more pictures on facebook.
• THISSSS close to buying a Real Madrid No.8 (Kaka) Soccer Jersey.....GAHHH. Temptation.
• Soccer Jerseys are SO uber comfortable to wear after a nice long workout. The material glides on your skin.....in a very erotic and comfortable way.
• My mom just said i'm fat again. The funniest thing was that she thought i was skinner when i was still dating the prior-mister. Like i said, i thought that was the FUNNIEST thing in the world.....because i feel like i'm at my skinniest/fittest right now. Of course this was before i downed half that bag of Doritos. Face Palm. 
• I sense that my ipod's expiration day is coming. It is fighting for its life every single day i use it.
• LEARN HOW TO MAKE YOUR OWN PORE STRIPS HERE. 
• Michelle Phan is such a goddess. It actually works. I would know. I tried it earlier today.
• I'm actually REALLY sick of hamburgers (hence the entry title). I've been eating at least ONE every week since summer started. During camping it was literally what i had 3 days in a row. At home my parents LOVES grilling burgers because they want to make good use of our BBQ and i go out and i eat hugeeee cowburgers with people. I think if i eat another burger l'll freaking punch myself in the face. 
• I have a list of shit i'm planning on buying in Buffalo. It includes things like RAINBOOTS, UGGS (both of which i was NOT allowed to buy when i was taken) and GYM CLOTHES. 
• I also need a camera. My dad always lectures me whenever i borrow his.
• READ: China Traffic Jam can last weeks. LINK
• To Do: Continue to apply for jobs, continue to work out, continue to drive, buy tickets for TIFF, plan K's Birthday with J, continue w/ side jobs, eat less, drink for the buzz, not the hangover.

OKAY. I AM DONE. THAT TOOK ONLY 2.5 HOURS!!!

NOW.

To do work.

Judgement Day

I wish one day l'll be able to have a picture like this!!!

Tonight felt like judgement day.

Anyways. The five people that i know would never judge me no matter what i tell them. I'm gonna use names this time (i used special characters in the names for web security purposes). Because i feel like they should know how special they are to me and how absolutely thankful i am to have them in my life.

Akem1

K@ryn

J0yce

Paul1ne

C@rmen

They're my girls, my bitches, the ones that's stuck by me during highs and lows. The ones that actually understands and if they don't, they TRY to understand because they give a damn. I know you guys come by, so no particular orders hahah

I love you girls so so much. Thank you thank you.

Summer

Today was a pleasant beach day with the cousin and K, minus the crazy sand that whipped us across our bare skin. Tanning was complete fail. So was the camera whoring task we set out to do but failed to do. I did however, discovered that i love Sour Cream a little bit way too much and i successfully refrained myself from eating any of Paul the Octopus's generations (while the girls savoured their calamari). haha

One topic in particular came up, was the topic of how fast the summer has gone by.
For me its been particularly fast given recent events and as well the World Cup totally made time zoomed by.  Can you believe that it was a month!?!? It felt like only 2 weeks!

And just a note on that subject. I am experiencing some mad World Cup withdraw and to compensate for that, i've been watching Fernando Torres' Videos on Youtube for hours...its getting a bit overwhelming.

I digress from the topic that everyone hates. lol

There's 2 weeks left in July and then August, the last month of Summer which i always tend to try to make it end off with a smash to welcome September- the working month. I think this year's autumn/winter will be particularly hard for me to endure. Lots of things to think about, more holidays to not look forward to, certain dates that are not to be celebrated anymore, more time stuck in the house because it will be getting colder. I'm hoping to make the best of whatever that's left of the summer and hope to god that i will have many things to distract me and keep me busy when the dreaded working month arrives.

Goodies to look forward to:

• Summerlicious with the GCM Girls
• To hopefully watch Inception with the boys
  PLS PLS PLS PLS WATCH IT WITH ME. I HEARD IT WAS AMAZING.
• Camping x 2
  I'm trying to sneak in a 2nd trip. Hopefully the days do not collide! That said, one would be in Tobermory (Cabins) and the other Algonquin (tents?!?) somewhere? Who knows. We'll see what happens. If it does work out tho, it will probably be back to back weekends of embracing nature at its finest.
• Rams Birthday Cruise
  THE party of the year. I've been looking forward to this for the entire year. It is going to be effing epicccc again. Last year was amazing, i think this year will probably top less. Mark my words!!!! Must find epic dress and shoes to go with epic night.
  
• Elementary School Reunion (maybe)
  Today i received an FB event invite for a reunion with people that i probably have not seen in 12 years? I've actually always envisioned what it would be like to have this type of reunion but i never thought someone would actually take the initiative to organize it. It's quite weird thinking about it now but would be pretty interesting if most of the people i talked to in grade 4-6 would be there. I am REALLY hoping bestest and another friend (or 2) will go so i have someone to talk to. Mainly though i hope bestest can go. Kind of to show people that after all these years we still tight. hehe : )
• Long weekend Niagra trip with the Girls
  Pretty much Montreal again. pwahahha. i am tres excited.

Yeps. Lets end this summer with a bang shall we?

Advice

Just spent an hour on the phone with a girlfriend, me talking mainly. Telling her why one needs to move on. Why its important to let go because it becomes unhealthy- emotionally, mentally and physically when the hope in your heart becomes your guiding tool for life instead of your mind.

I felt so effing pro yo.

If you come by and read this, love you dear. My words may be harsh but its because i don't want to see you walking in the footsteps i took oh-so-many years ago and i am genuinely concerned with how you are handling things.

At the same time, it's also a verbal reminder to myself to listen to my own words.

The irony.

I want a cupcake

Ohkayyyy so apparently there was a 5.5 magnitude earthquake that hit Southern Ontario (aka TO, Scaborough, PARTS of Markham (i say parts because i was in Markham and felt jack squat), Sauga and i don't know about Richmond Hill) that i did not feel. i dooo feel kind of jipped (even though J was scared out of her wits!) because everyone I knew felt it. Not really the type of bandwagon you want to jump on but nonetheless it would have been "interesting" since Toronto doesn't experience earthquakes due to our "rigid" crust. The last one was recorded in 1998 (Mag 5.4) and 1986 (Mag 5.0). I got my findings here. So yeah. I was jipped. lol The best status change by far about the quake tho, was by TP

"Earthquake!! In my office toilet!!"

Hahah good job terry. Good jobbb. 

What was more interesting though, was my newly acquired friend at SB was telling me about there being Army Helicopters in the area (probably heading downtown) as he was walking down steeles & brimley. Man this G20 stuff is getting scaryyyyyy. I'm a LITTLE big frightened about going down there this Saturday. But not frightened enough to not go. haha

So what is a blog post without me ranting about football?!?! Here it is:

ENGLAND ADVANCES BITCHESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

That's a nice big IN YOUR FACES to all you haters. Though i might add that they will probably be murdered in round 2 if they were to face Germany. Actually, even Ghana. They would be frightened by their dark skins. And lets just say that they somehow miraculously beat the 2nd rounds and make it to Quarter finals, there is no chance in hell they can beat Argentina. By the way the brits are playing, they really are not that good (they keep on wasting their energy on CHASING the ball instead of playing it smart. by the time it gets to them, they're all outta breath!!!) That said now, it just means i gotta go get myself a Spain or Brazil Shirt.

Jot down thoughts-

• Went back to Goodlife for the first time in 3 months and it felt GREAT. i was THINKING of canceling my membership but i think if i can afford to maintain it i think i will because i really enjoy it. Even though Body Combat made me completely out of breath (absolute Cardio fail), i felt that wuzzy feeling that makes me feel like im doing some good to my body. Also after attending Kick Boxing, my "posture" during Body Combat is a lot more "correct" now haha Extra added bonus is i bumped into C and made a gym date for next week!!! Ah. <3
• I want to get more into cupcake baking and cupcake decorating. 
• I hope to see A & Spyo soooooon. July 3rd yes yes?
• R's Bday Bash @ Courthouse Saturday. Shall be exciting.
• Upcoming Brazil Vs. Portugal game. Watching it for the skills and tactics involved. Not for the hot men (b/c Kaka is suspended. SNIFF SNIFF & im not very fond of C.ronaldo and his abs. )
• Going through True Blood way too damn quickly. Vampires are so sexy.
• One week until ECLIPSE (3rd twilight movie)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• Summerlicious with the Girls? (Sorry everyone...i can only afford one summerlicious meal this summer and im going to reserve it for the girls..)
• The Last Airbender with the Boys is going to be so damn epic. The trailer is epic. The storyline is epic. It is going to be gooooooood.

Okay i guess thats all. Need to get bak working on portfolio stuff.

Completely random. But the Starbucks im at suddenly smells like Instant Noodles mixed with XO Sauce. HAHA maybe im just hungeeee.

你仍然是第一個我會想起當有大事情發生.

Pic Spam

SUCH a random night. So cheap toooooo.

Let's do it again for FIFA 2010!!!!!!!!!!

SATC & Girlfriends

Just came home from watching Sex and the City 2 and i think im going to call it a quiet night. Stay in, fold clothes. Clean room. Madea quick trip to Shoppers and Wally (super after dinner stroll by my lonesome self). Work on some Joomla stuff for Jr. Watch Vampire Diaries.

So about the movie! I am extremely sad to say. It was not as good as i hoped it to be. I won't ruin it for people but all i have to say is (and only those who has watched it should understand what im referring to)- its not as easy if in real life. Dot dot dot haha l'll leave that with ya. The movie was clearly again all about the glitz and glam. You see them changing outfits FIVE TIMES in a day??? Yeahhhhh. Not completely realistic. One thing that i did love lots about the movie though, was the undying theme of friendship. From Sam ditching a good fuk for the girls to all of them being at Carrie's side the moment some huge happens. It kinda reminds me of myself...the moment something happens i am surrounded by the same handful of people that contribute differently. One that is logical (J). One that is blunt but comedic (A). One that is supportive (C). One that understands and is empathetic (K). One that would unconditionally love me (P). The movie made me appreciate these friends even more, especially in the given past month. Thank You all again.

I digress.

Back to the movie. Not a very strong story line. The nanny scenes were extremely hilarious and there was A LOT of hot men that made appearances with a special cameo made by a certain fashion guru that i was absolutely delighted to see!!! Aiden is very handsome though i am forever a Big fan. I want to live in Carrie & Big's apartment. Yutty yutty ya.

"You're the one that got away" - Aiden

Oh that make me feel so sad when he said that to Carrie. Sobsx. Love sucks. Period. lol

Just now Jr. told me that he read somewhere that this is potentially the last movie they will be collaborating. That makes me REALLY sad because they did not end the 2nd movie on a high note at all. So disappointing. =[