Lessons

Don't be so sure you know what's going to happen.

...........learnt from (still) reading old xanga entries.

LOL The pink googly reminds me of me. 

i think this is going to be the last post before i leave town for the day. Finish watching the second half of the ManU/Sunderland game (Owen is playing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Though he is not being very "Effective"...sad face), going to try and sneak in a Lyon game, clean my room and pack.

I hope everybody enjoys Nuit Blanche tonight! i would be terribly upset if it was "better" than the previous 2 years that ive went (and im missing it!)......but at the same time i hope it doesnt suck too much for those who are going lol Dress warmly people!

Outs!

Not-so-Good Friday

Rough start to the day.

Now all plans are canceled to work on shit for the rat.

Not even paid 1.5x.

Fuck you man. Seriously.

Working at a Starbucks but not the misters SB therefore no discount and im already on my second drink. Tempted to buy more treats because its going to be a long afternoon and i need some happiness.

The negative side to the heat is that it brings out all the CRAZIES, UGLIES and ANNOYINGS people (this chick beside sounds like shes talking while pinching her nose) to Starbucks.

Bright side is my headache is gone, I'm wearing a SUMMER dress with no tights/stockings/pantyhose, new sandals and STRAIGHTEN HAIR THAT I HAVEN'T HAD IN 3 MONTHS (all thanks to my lover K).

That is all.

I can't wait to see lx tmr. Its been a really long week for the both of us. 17 more days until our 1095th day!

Side thought-
Yesterday during my Pump (weights) class, the theme of the music being played was the 90s. So that included the obvious people like BSB, NSYNC, Britney, RickyMartin (who decided to randomly come out of the closet this week) etc. Anyways i found myself pushing myself to the limit a lot more than usual because the music (specific songs) that was being played reminded/brought back ALOT of bitter memories. They pretty much consisted of my fat, emo days and that just fueled me to push it to my max. It sounds so stupid but i really couldn't believe how i let my grade 9 memories motivate me to work hard.

So it made me realize two things:
1. Everything reminds me of something. Whether it be bad or good.
2. I will never forgive and forget those people and the memories that associate with these people. There are just some things that people (kids then) did that pretty much crushed any self-esteem i had. Things like the (popular) GIRLS not even looking at you when you talk but giving their full attention to your prettier girlfriend next to you when they speak, choosing groups based on popularity and prettiness, guys that won't even give you the time of day because you were fat, dorky, wore glasses and was Chinese and when they did it was because they can help you design something awesome to hand in... It was things like that, that made me walk away/grew up with scars and feelings of unworthiness and low-self esteem. I don't know did it make me stronger but it sure made me more BITTER. ROARRRRRRRR.x

It was a very bitter class.

2009 Wrap-Up - Long and Boring

I know l'll be writing this post in pieces, hopefully it won't be too too choppy. At first I As tradition goes, ever since December 31st, 2005 over at dorkus_x@xanga, i've been typing up my reflections on my year and what i have learned in that year. Half a decade has past since then and now here I am typing up my first new years wrapup on blogspot. I was really debating how i should type this up but i think for the sake of my disorganized blogging tendencies i think l'll just do sections versus something else I had in mind.

On an overall note, i felt like 2009 was the year that I learned the most about myself and also the year that opened my mind up the most. I would say it was a good year- though i do hope very much that 2010 would be better for me financially and physically. As I get older, I don’t expect much so as the same as 2009, I don’t expect very much from 2010 because we are all going downhill. Haha

That said, 2010 marks a new decade. Ten whole years since 2000 when i was fourteen-ish and we all prepared for the MILLENNIUM. I can't even recall half the things i did and experienced in all that time. As sad as this may sound, but i doubt l'll ever experience the same excitement and drama that i went through in the past ten years in the coming ten years. I guess it will be different experiences but surely it won't be the same as highschool, GRADUATING from highschool (the worst commencement ever. i deliberately missed mine), my drunken drinking machine youth, entering GCM, graduating university, all the people i have met, wanted to kill, loved, meeting the mister, first graduate job, etc. In the next ten years i can only see bills and more bills for me haha.

And just a random FYI. 2010 was also the year Lisa Simpson got married in the 1995 episode.

ISNT THAT SO SO WEIRD!!!!!!....We’re SOOOO OLDDD.
Haha. Thought I would share that interesting point. Lol

Anyways now the fun stuff. I spent NYE with the mister’s sister and his brother-in-law and their cousins/brothers/friends, playing poker. It was a little weird at first because they're all MARRIED but thnx god they're fun people and didn’t make a big deal at the fact that I was the youngest, non-married person there. The original plan was to go watch Avatar in IMAX 3D but due to ridiculous circumstances we opted out for last minute poker instead lol I am having GREAT feelings about 2010 though because that same day (on NYE) I found 15 bucks cash at loblaws while shopping with the mister’s sister and won the bigger portion of the pot at Poker (it was my first time playing on my own with MINIMAL assistance from lx) and it was SUCH an awesome way to end 2009 and start 2010. Lets hope this lucky streak continues for the rest of the year.

Here are some of the New Years Resolutions that I realllllly hope to keep (again) but are most likely doomed according to statistics.


Career/Design
All my life I have always been the one that believes in working hard for a salary and coming home with stable income. This was very much heavily influenced by my dad whom I believe is the most hard working man I know. Nobody works harder than him to provide income for the family. This year because of the recession and the automotive industry downfall, both my parents lost their job and money definitely became a number 1 concern for all of us. I have seen him work labour intensive jobs over the past half year, watch him come home with sore knuckles and knees, putting his hands in medicine water in the evening to prevent shaking and to only watch him repeat all of that the next day because he refuses to put the burden on anyone else. I won’t talk about my job situation here in risk of compromising my current role but those whom ive talked to should understand why I need to stay even though....i should really leave. At the same time of course, after briefly sharing why I believe in working hard for a stable income, this year also made me realized how important it is to be ambitious and how critical it is to have passion in the work you are doing. Since I’m a heavy believer in just “making money”, I never really shared the same vision as the mister did when it came to “starting my own business”, or waiting out for the job that gives you “the” drive. I confess that for the longest time i’ve always felt like he was wasting his time when I believed making mediocore money is more practical than dreaming of big money. I am guilty of being complete narrow-minded (please forgive me!!!!!) until one morning when I woke up to go to work I felt no drive. I felt empty and the worst part was, I couldn’t design anything decent anymore. That scared me a lot because design to me is everything in my life. And then everything somehow clicked one night when lx and I talked well past 2am about what was really bothering me and what was making me change. All the past discussions lx and I had on goals, money and career, all the stuff that never got through to me somehow just made complete sense. I finally understand that it really isnt all about the money. Its about fulfilling yourself and doing what you love and for me its design...anddddd some other stuff that im not going to bring up. Most importantly though, I finally understood where he was coming from, why he has these plans and why he believes so strongly in certain things. I think its really hard for people to understand which is why I don’t expect anyone to. As long as I am able to understand myself, I believe the path would be a lot more clear......not to sound religious or anything like that.

In conclusion for 2010,

• I got to get my website up and going (I totally ditched that)
• Really reflect and figure out what I want to do in life and find direction
  Because its not even about money anymore...even though it probably is but for the sake of sounding less greedy, lets say its not.
  
• Find a more steady job
• Start financing, build a portfolio and save up for my dream.

Physical/Fitness/Appearance
This is on every girls’ resolution list and most of us fall off of it in the second day haha That said though I still gotta try and at least blog it down to remind myself that I did at the very least attempted to begin a more healthy lifestyle. I joined Goodlife fitness in July/August-ish and was doing rather great until I fell sick, and got my hives (TWICE) and work became insane and that’s when I stopped for three months. Gonna start up again with the following resolutionsssss:

• Find a sport that the mister and I can play and not be lazy about it
• Grow my hair longgggg.
  I am 4.5” away from my goal.
• Take care of my skin
  Meaning no picking at pimples, lots and lots of green tea and water to keep myself hydrated)
• Lose weight
  No number in mind. Just an overall difference and so I don’t feel so ugly in pics (noticed I don’t load pics anymore cuz I tend to go on a pics hiatus when im fat) and i also have five dresses i bought that i cannot wear with my current body size.
  
• Get back into my fitness regime
  Working out 3 times a week, strength train, cardio and hot yoga twice a week. any1 care to join me let me know!!! K and i are on this regime until S's wedding haha
  
• Go get my Physical test that ive over-procrastinate about
• Eat more fruits and make an effort to make sure every cooked meal has some kind of vegetable I can eat (even if it means yams everyday)

THINGS I WANNA DO/ACCOMPLISH/LEARN THIS YEAR:

• G2 G2 G2 G2 G2 G2
• PASSPORT PASSPORT PASSPORT
• Indoor Volleyball with the kids
• Outdoor Paintballing with the kids
• Cottege Cottege
• NYC NYC NYC
• Learn how to contour my face (haha sounds wrong) & how to use bronzer PROPERLY 
  
• Bake more
• Complete my DIY Projects
  
• Get my Full Set of Contacts for the year
  
• SWIMMING SWIMMING
• SNOWBOARD SNOWBOARD (not this season but the upcoming winter season cuz I don’t have gear and the mister and i r gonna go hunting for CHEAP CHEAP gear once the season is over in March-ish.)
• Finish my room reno by Summer 2010

I started this entry at work a few weeks before Christmas time, then christmas came and this completely went cold. Then I started up again at Starbucks while the mister is working but that failed on me too because I was in a really comfortable sofa chair and watching dramas while sipping on a nice grande Caramel Apple Spice (with whip and explosion of caramel sauce) and seemed more like the appropriate thing to do than to blog. Finally now im back and finishing this up at work.....heh. I guess that’s all? I KNOW I will be triple editing/adding onto this through-out the day.

Happy New Years to the people that come by my blog. Lots of thanks =] and wishing you guys the best of everything.

alien activist

Alright so the mister and i, and his two bff went to see District 9 last night. The movie had an awesome 89% rating on rottentomatoes.com, and appraisal from a handful of people on my facebook AND its directed/produced (not sure which one) by Peter Jackson...it's gotta be good.

Um, surprisingly i felt like the movie was overrated. Not saying that it wasn't good because it was quite good and i really enjoyed myself (the random transformer robot part was too awesome), but i'm not sure if it was 89% good lol I think the reason why im on the fence on this one is because i don't like anything that has to do with abuse, cruelty, families being split apart and the movie is pretty much all about that lol The movie is basically about the US Government keeping the aliens on earth to try to learn and steal their weapons/technology meanwhile all the aliens just want to go home. It's pretty messed-up to see how the government would do anything (torture, experiments, etc.) to obtain and understand how to use alien "technology" for them to use for their own warfare (if thats sucha word) purposes. I walked out of the movie sadden and pissed off with how humans treated the prawns (thats what the aliens were called in the movie). No species deserve to be tortured and experimented, whether it be fictitious or not lol

I remember in one of my past xanga entries, i wrote up a similar entry on how i hate movies that has to do with hate, cruelty and torture and i would end up hating the people that were the evil culprit. The example i used was, i once watched this movie documentary on the British robbing China's Imperial Garden/Palace and all this sick shit happen (murder, robbery, rape, torture). After that, i hated white people for a week. I remember i saw a white couple walking down the street like half an hour after i finished the movie, i wanted to go run after them with a powerdrill. Then another time i watched this World War II movie on how the Japanese was torturing/murdering/raping the Chinese. Again, i hated Japanese people for another week and refused to eat sushi for a good while. Now in the case of District 9, i hate humans. We are a cruel and greedy species. Shame on us.

& this is why i cant watch movies like that.

lol

i use to be funny

exactly what the title says.
im re-reading old xanga entries and i find myself to be more comical and entertaining over there while over here @ blogspot i'm just repetitive and lame.

gayness.

Breaking it Down (Brought to you by Manilajones)

On Xanga, i subscribe to this guy name manilajones because i love reading everything he has to say. i swear this guy is the funniest guy on the face of this earth. I don't remember how i found his blog but i was one of those crazy bitches that went back and read EVERY single entry he wrote and laughed like a maniac as i went through them all (Pls don't be scard). In particular, he is also a STARBUCKS addict- so i can relate to his weekly Tuesday Tales @ Starbucks. lol Anyways, he wrote this super awesome entry that i just HAD to share. It's titled:

Xanga Sluts and Attention Whores
[ Just change the words XANGA to blogger/livejournal/wordpress/typepad/etc/and etc ]
[ Again, i did not write this. This is just a PORTION of the entry. I give absolutely all credit to manilajones so if he ever reads this and think i stole his stuff, no. i did not steal your stuff manilajones. & if you dont like me sharing it then i can take it off at your request ]

Like a standard-issue whore, a blog-whore wants attention in exchange for blog entries. There are people in the blogosphere whose sole motivation for blogging is to get people to notice them. These are the harlots who openly say that they blog for their readers and not for themselves. These are the people who chronicle their thoughts, but feel their thoughts are worthless if they don’t receive comments. However, this doesn’t necessarily mean that their blogs are any good. In many cases, these blog entries are cheap, lifeless, boring, and uninspired. A blog-whore doesn’t necessarily enjoy blogging; they just want the attention. And like a prostitute who operates on referrals, a blog-strumpet likes to say things like, “If you like this, then please rec!”

Every blogger has an ego, but not every blogger craves attention. In the house of Xanga, there are essentially and objectively two types of bloggers who blog a lot: There are (1) those who blog for comments and there are (2) those who don’t. You are either (1) a whore or (2) a slut; there is no in-between. If you’re someone who blogs because you’re addicted to the attention it brings to you, then you’re a blog-whore (1). If you blog for your audience because you love the way they make you feel, then you’re a blog-streetwalker (1). If your singular ambition in Xanga is to make it into the Top Blogs whorehouse, then you’re a blog-prostitute (1). But, if you’re someone who gives it up easily and blogs for no other ulterior motives, then you’re a blog-slut (2). If you blog for no reason other than to fulfill your insatiable libido to post a blog entry, then you’re a blog-skank (2) (and possibly need therapy).

PWAHHAHA. Well written! I could not have articulate it any better myself (actually i reallly can't. i do a poor job of articulating my thoughts, let alone organizing it in an entertaining way)
You can visit him at manilajones@xanga dot com

Because theres no COMMENTS link...

To my best friend J
OMG i am sooo happy to see you on here. I was actually thinking of how i should convince you to come over but i dont need to nowwwwwww haha I also noticed when you FIRST migrated, it was around Aug 2008....which was pretty much when i migrated last year too haha yes! We think alike, design (template-d designs anyways haha...i need to still play with the HTML..found a great place with nice templates but we can change it to our liking of course. l'll link u it later) AND thought process is similar. heh heh heh Miss You lotsss. And i dont know how to use GoogleTalk...cuz im borderline stupid like that.=[

& i cant believe you are up at 9am on a Sunday.I force myself to stay in bed because its a weekend and i deserve to lay there to do nothing lol


Yes! My best friend is on blogspot.
Just gotta convince my cousin too...in a very subtle way because shes loving xanga haha & Maybe even Jo too....im sure theres a few stalkers whom he doesnt mind losing in the process of migration! haha! : P

Attempt One

Okay I am going to start to blog here, and migrate in a very subtle matter until those whom has been accustomed to Dorkus_x can adjust and hopefully move with me lol : (

Yesterday night i went to go see Star Trek with the boys and i probably was the biggest Trekkie noob in the theater. Overall though I totally enjoyed it and thought it was SO effing awesome and i have a small secret crush on Spock aka. Sylar aka the psycho killer on Heroes. hahaha ai, i am attracted to the weirdest people, it amuses me sometime too.

Now i just gotta watch Wolverine, Angels & Demons, Terminator Salvation (I'm not too keen on this movie...but l'll give it a chance b/c the mister is really excited about it), Transformers II (Yaaaaa Meghan Fox...not), G.I Joe and UP (in 3-D). Note to self: buy discounted tickets @ ryerson. take advantage of my soon-to-be expired Student Privileges.

Ok now jumping to another topic,

Ever since ive been working, ive been spending SO much money at Shoppers. Its so disgusting what i can find there and i would spend about fifty-seventy dollars each trip. Totally outrageous, totally something i gotta stop....after i convince myself to not buy that Shiseido Skin Regime kit. (After using it once, *courtesy of Jennuts travel kit*- i totally love it and want it because Neutrogena and Shoppers brand isnt working out for me.)

& as ive said over on dorkusX- my lips are as dry as fukkk. Seriously. This damn allergy reaction of mine is mildy over, but now the aftermath of the reaction are dead skins and i look like i have chocolate flakes on my mouth. Pardon my descriptive details, but Its actually really nasty.

I would word vomit more but it almost bed-time and i gotta finish another episode of criminal minds or else i wouldn't be able to fall asleep.

OUTSSSS!

migration: consideration

It's that time again, where i am seriously considering migrating from dorkusX to over here.

decision

so ive decided that im gonna stick with xanga.
but occasionally blog here and of course comment on all my girls blogs =]
i still love the sophistication of blogspot.
so soon time. l'll be permanently here.

migration.

not sure if l'll like this
i dont know if i have the patience and time to reanalyze the html to blogspot when ive already invested four years into understanding xanga coding.

Tried livejournal before, didnt work out too well.
maybe this time will be different because annnuh is right, this is much more sophisicating