2nd Day

Dear lord i am EXHAUSTED.

Why? Because my commute to work is TWO BLOODY HOURS...........ONE WAY. Yes that's right, i bus, subway and streetcar it to work. I lose four hours of my day, every single day and mark my words- i am cranky as fuck. So dont get in my way.

That said, absolutely wonderful first day of work yesterday. This is what work seriously should be like. I mean, aside from the horrid commute and possibly the lack of eye candy (which isnt too bad because i could focus on work as oppose to these 'eye candy'), its a pretty awesome place to work at.

Some highlights of my first day-

• Orientation done at Starbucks. Drinks on manager. Win #1
• The people at the office dress SOOOOO nicely. ESPECIALLY the boys on my team. Motivates me to not look like a slob. Win #3
  
• Brand new IMAC and Macbook Pro, out of the box. For me to take home if please (obvs i know it means taking work home. OH WELL). Win #2
• My team (Strategy and Analytics....yes i work with the Math Squad of the company) were sweethearts and took me out for Beer and Wild Boar. Best lunch, ever.Win #4
• Also found out my co-workers are alcoholics like myself. Win #5
  
• Arsenal won our game. Win #6
• Twitter desktop allowed and installed. Win #7

Oh and it rained like a bitch too. Can't forget that. But that's not a win.

Yeah, definitely a good two days. Me happys.

AND AND......................HALLOWEEN THIS WEEKEND!!! YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!!!!

i shall leave it at that. toodles!

Losing to life

Greetings everyone (to who comes around stillllllllll). I am back with somewhat of an update.

SURPRISE TO ALL YOU MONDAY MORNING PEOPLE.

My last blog was almost a month ago and ive been told by SO many people to do something about it (im so sorry! lol). To whom i speak to and are close with, they all knew that i was seriously losing it. Everything was just not okay. I was unhappy. I was frustrated. Job searching and interviews hit a halt. I got sick. I couldn't let go of certain things. Arsenal was doing poorly. I reached the end of my savings. Everything was so bleak and i felt like i just couldn't win. I was losing to life and I was losing badly. Defeat caught up with me and was killing me. I tell myself everyday that "it shall pass" and i just need to keep on going but it got increasingly difficult.


Then just like that. BOOM. Everything comes together in ONE WEEK.

In one week, two things.

First,

1.5 years of FT unemployment. Roughly 75 applications (give or take two)- i am bloody finally fucking employed. Fuck. It was literally one thing after another. E-mailed application > Interview (Design challenge, 4 people interview) > 2 hours later when i was STILL on the bus, call back for ref check > ref check, design challenge #2, Phone interview > Offer emailed to me at 5pm, Friday.

BOOM BITCHES. That's for all of you who would kill to see me fall.

I work my ass off, applying, constantly coming up with new, creative things to add to cover letters, infographs, etc. I did this without the help of anyone and I am proud as hell with myself and i am NOT afraid to be vain and admit that.

That said, to all my girls? This Christmas is going to be awesome. JUST SAYING.

Second, 

I still, might, perhaps, maybe, not know exactly what i want. But ive never been more sure of what i DON'T want. Consider it another lesson learned for me. Today's Shiv's Bridal Shower confirmed with me even more, of what is it that i do want. At the end of the day, i am STILL okay with being single. Until i find my Azza (footy player) of course.

# # #

i'm turning a quarter of a century in a week and a half.....ish. And i have NOT felt better than this in a VERY long time. Except perhaps my weight. (Definitely fatty mode again). But im not going to complain because this is SO much better than I asked for.

oh. and Arsenal is starting to look hopeful again.

THANKKKK YOUUUUU JEEEEBUS. 

Slumber Coma

Since i've came back from San Diego, i have been completely out of routine. I've been doing nothing, in terms of my freelance plus job hunting situation (except for maybe that one night where I did my all-nighter for this infographic that I wanted to send in to one particular company). I haven't been to the gym since as well (except on Saturday, which felt great because my body feels like its been run over by a bus!) and i feel like shit even more because of that. On top of that, i've been sleeping A LOT. I mean taking these two and a half hours naps during the day. I would be chatting and then I would be gone because ive fallen asleep on my oh-so-comfy bed behind me. What's even worst is this slumber coma that i fell into yesterday. Pretty much i slept ALL DAY yesterday. Partially because of this nagging painful headache that did not go away since Saturday afternoon, partially my upper body was sore from the gym (whenever bod is sore = me wanna sleep) and then, just because i felt like sleeping even though i SHOULD be doing a bit of freelance work. Um, i took a 4 hour nap before dinner. Ate dinner, ate cake for dessert on the couch but started to fall asleep!!! I then just gave up and went to bed at 7pm. Ridiculous no? I woke at 1115 and decided that i should just sleep through the night and wake up at 530am. Mainly because i fear i might turn into a vegetable if i let myself sleep until 10am- which im sure i would have been able to do.

I've been fairly productive when it comes to seeing people and going out though! That said- I MISS MY COUSIN. Its official. I don't remember what her face looks like no more and it makes me saddddd. So so sadddddd. Big sad face. I hopes to see her soon before our annual camping trip next week??? Pweleaseee??


I guess its good that im up right now and blogging (yesh! its only 7am). But i'm really losing focus. Its extremely difficult to stay positive when you've been in this limbo of a stage for almost two years now (its been TWO summers). Its not really like i haven't gotten any responses either because at least it shows that i'm doing something right. I must really be the talks when people gossip about who's doing what after graduation and me, K, been completely useless. Unemployed for this long, not really going anywhere with life amongst other things. Out of all people, i am seriously the last fucking person to be in this type of situation and here i am. All this bad luck- i'm convinced one of you wankers cursed me.

Especially lately, I've told myself, those are just vain words, from an empty mind. (I say mind because of one specific person). But ive always been that person that really gives a shit about what others think. I cannot, help but let that ruin me. But seriously, this person's two-faced-ness makes me bloody sick. I mean, if you are going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty, bitch. Ugh. 

And of course, right when I act spontaneously (i do that a lot)- my dreams (the ones i get at night, not the froo froo ones) brings me back to a broken reality and tells me, its not going to happen. Bummer, really. I think its this loss of focus that's causing me to lose that control i had over how i feel.

Or it might even be that- the cause of my slumber coma. mEEEH. we shall see this week.

GOOD MORNINGGGGG.

a hearty long read

ROFL SO TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!! ANDDDDD, as someone said- If the Nat and Mila made a movie, it'd be "Black Swan II" HAHAH IRONYYYY

Anyways.

Hello everyone. I know that i've been totally MIA. I promised a blog post. I promised to keep up with my photo challenge but i've failed and i'm sorry. There's just been SOOO much going on and i feel like i have no time to do anything (aside from gymming. Seems like im there a lot eh).

Primarily im preoccupied with four things: Work (Freelance & Job Interviews), Arsenal Asia Tour & Transfer News, Comic Con planning and everything else that i will lump into MISCELLANEOUS.Thought i should do a quick rant while BLOG MODE is still on.

1. Work (Freelance & Job Interviews)

Before i head out to SanDiego, i really needed to finish up revisions if i want to be paid. Also, i've spent the past few days working on a design practical as part of a hiring process for another job interview that i got for ANOTHER company. Shit, doesn't it feel like something i've said before??? And to add onto that, about an hour ago i received a phone call to arrange a prelim phone interview with a second company this coming friday. This is getting a bit fucking ridiculous. Every time it SEEMS like i am getting close to a hire......something happens but NO FEAR, i have (yet) ANOTHER prospect lined-up. Clearly, im doing something right with my job-applying and its also very clear that its something that i am not doing or doing wrong during the final round of the interview process. I mean, i made it through first of all of them, you'd THINK i was doing something right. Apparently not. Ugh. #FML.

Wish me good luck though nonetheless! I gotta start prepping for it after finishing typing this up. Don't forget to send those prayers this way!!!!

2. Arsenal Asia Tour & Transfer News

You people will PROBABLY think this is silly. But no, this is not a laughing matter nor a matter to be taken lightly. Currently my team are in Malaysia and will be traveling to CHINA to play some friendlies with the teams there. Every day i busy myself with tweetpics and tweets of how theyre doing in asia and as well concerning myself with new players who might be joining the team and those who are leaving. It's extremely overwhelming and ive expressed this to people re: how its been effecting my mood. Twitter lately hasn't been a very good place to be lately for fans like myself. But seriously though, this consumes my life.

3. Comic-Con

Indeed we are in the final countdown days until i head to San Diego!!!! Not only are there up-to-date news almost every hour for me to stay on top of, there's also the scheduling that I am SO STRESSED OUT about. Its not even FUNNY how much i have to plan for.

Just to clarify what goes on at the convention. The San Diego Comic-Con (or #SDCC) is not just an enormous party where the participants are geeks, nerds and wizards. We don't just go there to read/buy/trade comic books, to dress-up, to get autographs from comic writers and illustrators and to have jedi, telekinesis mind-sex with the opposite sex. Sure all that STILL happens (ha ha) but there's more to it including something call PANELS. Panels are basically seminars/talks/presentations. It can be anything from: Obsession: How TV and Movies Go from Fascination to Phenomenon? to Oh, You Sexy Geek! to The Vampire Diaries Screening and Q&A.

In the recent years, the TV and Movie industry caught on, on this wicked-ass gathering and decided to use this event as a method of marketing whatever they wish to promote. So tv shows such as, Supernatural, Vampire Diaries, Dexter, Bones, Chuck, True Blood, Game of Thrones, Family Guy, Futurama, Big Bang Theory et more, were/are all present. CAST INCLUDED. In the past, movie previews inclded Alice in Wonderland, Sherlock Holmes, all the obvious superhero movies (X-Men, Ironman, Spiderman, Thor, etc), Tron, Twilight, Harry Potter, again, all present with the cast.


Overall its really just a huge event for geeks to unite. And lots of free swag.

Now that i've kind of explained comic con, Visual:

Yes, that is the schedule for the panels (which ive obviously shrunk to emphasize all the material im drowning in) that are available for the 3 days i am there (the convention is 4 days but im leaving that Sunday afternoon) and myyyyy task right now is to PLOW THROUGH THEM. Deciding what i REALLY want to see, what are my backups and of course, factoring in WAITING TIME for the bigger stuff i want to see. i.e. The Big Bang Theory panel which is currently more popular than the TWILIGHT panel #GEEKSUNITE.

i, repeat. i am SO stressed.

4. MISCELLANEOUS

And behold, the things i need to do and the faces i must see!

• Gym- I've been going at it pretty hardcore for the past 2 weeks. Doing two-three hour sessions, 4.5-6 times a week. Another thing that i've brought up amongst friends, is how unhappy i still am with the way i look. I'm unhappy because I know i can do better, i can look better than this. Why should i settle when i know that i am capable of achieving my ideal physique? That's what i tell myself anyways. Its a good thing that i love food way too much because I'm starting to sound like a Bulimic.
  
  
• Going out. Seeing people - No surprises here. There's peoples faces i want to see, birthdays to celebrate, catch-up that must occur. Enough said, those take up time. Not a complaint though.
  
  
• HARRY POTTER COUNTDOWN- The time has come. After ELEVEN years, it is FINALLY coming to an end, the Harry Potter movies. I have my tickets ready for Friday, I am ready to bawl my fucking eyes out, I am ready to say good bye to my childhood with twin beside me. It is going to be disgustingly epic. I'm going to type up a Harry Potter-related entry soon to commemorate friday. Await.

# # #

and just like that I ACTUALLY BLOGGED SOMETHING.

BOOOOO-YAH.

Lazy....AGAIN

I know i know, i am lagging behind on the easiest photo blog challenge in the world. i can't help it if im a busy girl!?!?! Blogging is like an UNPAID full-time job you know. (Well for me it is, unlike those lucky ones who gets paid to blog #sideeyes).

I would LOVE to do a catch-up soon time with some actual typing and ranting but not until i get this design practical out of the way.

On that note- I was OFFICIALLY rejected from P.A the other day (which was pretty devastating but expected). Fortunately, i actually had ANOTHER interview lined up (seems like i've been saying this A LOT haven't i). I was told that they would like me to move onto part 2 of the hiring process immediately (hence the design practical). If I pass that one, then its one more interview with the VP of sales and that's that. Much thnx to lx the other day for taking me there (this place is....pretty effing far).

I should really continue with this task though. I underestimated its complexity and tedious nature. A starbucks session is probably needed tomorrow.

Tis all. Happy Thursday!

Tough days

When they tell you you’re not good at something, it’s time to prove you’re not good, but the best.

I MISS YOU BLOGGING

I really ought to start blogging again. I miss sharing my thoughts and randomness and i'm sure as hell you guys miss reading stuff from me. Shockingly, people STILL come by to see whether or not i've updated (thank you oh loyal stalker ones). I guess i owe you guys THATT much for sticking by me. I'm considering whether i should pick up where i ended that 10 day Tumblr Challenge that i NEVER actually finished. HA (You can go through them by clicking on the BLOG PROJECTS link on the side there or here) Or just completely start a new one. The idea of starting a new one is extremely tempting at the moment so i probably will do that. I will be starting another Project 30 Day (older one can be found here or the entire month of September 2010) aka. the Photo project that EVERYONE loved. I shall begin that next WEDNESDAY when i get my camera back from someone. cough. haha <3

So. What's new eh. AHHHHHHHHH

................................

Haha wow. I am SO terrible at this now i don't even know where to begin. ESPECIALLY because.....its almost 2am and i haven't updated in so long i don't remember what i have done anymore (happens with old age and lots of drinking) since my last, long word vomit entry. OKAY MAJORLY OFF. I FELL ASLEEP. ITS ACTUALLY 330 PM RIGHT NOW AS I'M TYPING THIS. I'M ALSO ROYALLY ANNOYED BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT RIGHT NOW. Holey crap MAJOR DELAY.It is officially four days later since i STARTED this blog, i am DETERMINED to finish it TONIGHT. RWAR.

i digress. moving on-

I'm still in the middle of this finding a job crisis. I'm getting pretty nervous again. The place that called me back for a 2nd interview has "delayed" the hiring because of some internal crisis so now im just AWAITING for them to sort that crisis out and see if they remember to call me. I don't even know what to do. I'm still applying (DAILY) for positions but seriously.....Graphic Design is hard stuff. Looks like I have to start doing "cold" e-mailing. I kind of wish they can get it over with, and just reject me if they really aren't that interested in me so i can move on.

Other points of interest

• San Diego ish in LESS THAN A MONTH
  Indeed kids. I will be in San Diego for comic con next month. Its starting to REALLY hit me because schedules of panels are coming out, more things are confirmed to be at the convention. It will be absolutely EPIC. The boys and i just need to wrap up some loose ends and i shall be off, snogging Ian Somerhalder. Hopefully. hahah Unfortunately, I will be missing an epic Canoe Summerlicious Dinner date w/ zee girls. I am quite sadden that l'll be missing it but hopefully when i return we can have another nights out at Brants. I'll be adding onto this subject more and more as the day gets closer.
  
  
• Reading Percy Jackson series / a lil rant
  The other day at BMV i was able to find the ENTIRE Percy Jackson and the Olympian Gods boxed series in HARDCOVER for only 30 dollars which is a STEAL because each book usually costs about 25 dollars anyways (FYI. I try to buy only hardcovers, especially when it comes to series. I have a thing for hardcover books). 
• Been reading that and even though i'm only on book 3, i would have to put it as 4th on my "Favorite Book Series of all times" list. Extremely entertaining, but NO WHERE near Harry Potter (#1), Twilight or the Hunger Games (which fights for #2). 
• Also, don't judge me......because i read "childrens" books. These childrens books are GOOD. Ohkay. 
• Earlier I was part of a discussion re: Harry Potter vs. Twilight. People were comparing the two series. For someone like me who is a HUGE (and proud) obsessive fan of both series- i get majorly annoyed when that happens. Its like comparing apples and oranges, seriously, dont be stupid now. If ANYONE has any say on this, i would think id be the one that has the most legit argument. Ugh. // rant done.
• The Percy Jackson books also reminded how much i love Greek Mythology. I think if was rich and my family did not depend on me to bring home cash nor would i ever need to support myself in this lifetime, i would study Greek Mythology because its geniunely a subject that I've always enjoyed since i heard my first Greek Myth in grade 6. Too bad my life isn't that ideal.
  
  
• Freelance Work
  Been busy as hell with freelance work. Might have slightly mentioned this before in previous blog entries but A and I are going to tag team and come together to work on a special project. I'm pretty excited about that, i think things should be pretty awesome once we have something to show.
  
  
• Beastmode
  Since December i've put on a disgusting 10lbs. Fortunately for me, Combat and Weights HAVE paid off and i've lost 4lbs in the past 2 months (HUGE for me!). Just another 6 to go and l'll be back to how i was LAST August (which i considered to be the first time in my life where ive been the fittest AND skinniest ive ever been in my life).
• I do have a new goal though, which is to reach that DREAM weight and physique by my 25th birthday this year. Essentially November 2nd is my deadline. You know. Birthday and all. I like being monumental about certain occasions. 
• All my life i've been big (im serious) and i would REALLY like it, if by my quarter of a century i can finally reach that ideal physique so i can look at myself in the mirror and be proud of the way i look and not be ashamed as i have been all my life. Going to work really hard for that. 
  
  
• I MISS ARSENAL
  ENOUGH SAID. I MISS WATCHING ARSENAL PLAY SO MUCH AND GOING INSANE.
  

fjhskjskfkldsjfdlsk i think im done.

Damnit i REALLY am losing my touch. Must work hard. Don't want to lose that blogging momentum. EVER.

but ya. there u go. AN UPDATE.

Laziness

I was inspired to type up a "lazy" blog post too because of A blogged about it earlier.

This whole weekend has been completely fail in terms of productivity. I had a shit load of quote work to do, design concepts to come up with and an interview to prep for but didn't get around to ANY of it until today when i woke up feeling like i was paralyzed from the waist down (due to cramps). I still worked through it though because I WANT THIS JOB. ROAR. 

That said though, of course i CONTINUED to procrastinate by editing wonderful photobooth pics that A and i took yesterday during what should have been a productive design session for the both of us instead of just ranting about it and then going to the bar because we're both SO futbol deprived.

I digress.

I really should do some work.

Wish me good luck tmr kiddies!!! If you're part of that support i might be able to include u in the discounts i get if i get the job!!!!!

The waiting game ends. Life goes on

As of today the waiting game officially ends. For the past week and a half ive been waiting for VG to get back to me on whether they made a hiring decision. Well they finally did and unfortunately for me I was not chosen for the position. : (

So how do i feel? Hmm. Crushed. But not as devastating as i thought it would be (l'll share why in a bit). And extremely disappointed. I'm not disappointed with myself (on contrary, i am actually quite proud of myself for fighting it til the end) but more of the general outcome. I mean i spent, SO much time and effort on two presentations- it just really sucks that at the end of it all it didn't really pay off with the most ideal scenario. I have to say though (as vain as i might sound), i thought my presentation was pretty kick-ass so for them to hire someone else, that person is seriously someone i do not ever want to compete with....EVERRRRRRR.

But hey, life goes on right. I created one of my best portfolio pieces and i am confident i can land a job using this as a sample of what i am capable of. Something im pretty sure i would NOT have done in my spare time. I also didn't think I was capable of pulling such ambitious deadlines either. I totally won myself a point in this round against myself.

That said though.

I actually have ANOTHER interview lined up for this coming Monday and shockingly- its even bigger than VG. How i manage it, no idea. But much thanks to J for hooking me up with the link. I think it was because i got the notification BEFORE i got the rejection, it didn't hurt THAT MUCH. I'm prettttty sure that if i had nothing lined up, no prospects i would be out drinking my sorrows away. Lets pray even HARDER for this to be the one?

Gutted- but still in the game biatches. Bring it.

The Waiting Game Resumes

The weekend comes to an end and that anxiety wait begins once again since VG did NOT get back to me last week even though they said that they would. I DID have good feelings but not so much anymore. La sighs. I really, REALLY just need them to reject me and let me get on with my life (i.e. work on a new resume, increase in the number of applications im sending out per day and possibly.......findaretailjoborsomethingtosupportmyarse *shakes my head at myself*) :((((. I've been excessively spending money again and its not really something i should do.

Not in the mood to blog. Maybe later.

Dream Work Area

Look at all those toysssss and books!!!!!!

Most importantly, shiet look at that monitor!!! 

And tablet. 

And vintage red telephone.
Probably comics hidden in that massive bookshelf.

la sighs. I'm still waiting on VG to call me back. I'm getting more and more antsy every single time my blueberry email notification alerts comes on. Hopefully by the time i see A and the boys tomorrow, i will have good news for them.

On a brighter note- Watching Les Bleus tmr play and then X-Men: First class afterwards. Tres tres epic day!!!!

i jogged in on a teen couple making out. #awkward.

Greetings all. I finally have a moment to update on in what seems like FOREVER.

From where I last left off- i was in the middle of a mental breakdown (for what must have been the 5th one that week) and was freaking the hell out about there being an interview portion to Round 2 that I did not know about nor anticipated. I survived, the challenge portion that is and was ACTUALLY able to e-mail it on the requested original due date as oppose to the extension date I asked for. I actually loaded a recording of what I did for you guys to see.

Pretty much its a Sponsorship deck. Content was provided for me and I was asked to create a powerpoint presentation for it and to create infographics to illustrate the statistics (which you will see in the middle) in a visually appeasing and innovative way. I had all the creative freedom i want. All illustrations are by me as well as the banners, graphics, that mock-up website (with the video playing), and everything else. If you do happen to watch it, please please comment/pm me on twitter/bbm/fb or wherever to let me know what you think!!! I spent A LOT of time on it!!

Oh btw if i haven't mentioned it already- its for a Powerpoint Specialist/Designer position. Hence the slideshow lol.

Hopefully the people like it. I thought i did pretty well given the time I was allowed to work on this.The interview portion also went pretty well. Well, at the time i felt like it was great. After many reflections and talking to people about it i'm not so sure anymore. This is what i get for being over-confident, i become too comfortable too soon and show them what a big weirdo i am.

It doesn't help either, when one of the guys asked me which team i supported for the Champions League final game. FYI: I hate both teams (ManU and Barca). I hope my answer didn't affect what they think of me.

Anyways, so that's that. The "final decision" will be made this week and they'll contact me regardless of what kind of news it is. I REALLY don't know whether l'll be hired (lll probably cry for days and not admit to it if i dont get it) but at the very least i can say i REALLY gave it my all right? I somehow made it through hundreds of resume that were sent via Monster, fought my way through a round of about 20 candidates with a slow-ass laptop to create my first deck and then finally down to this round- two other candidates including myself and three days of sweat and effort. I think i deserve a LITTLE credit no? And its another piece to be added to my portfolio. But do wish me good luck people. I REALLY WANT THIS JOB/NEED THIS JOB.

Currently right now though, im working on some freelance side stuff again. I consider it my "commute" money. Its one of those jobs where the client has the worst taste in the world and if you present anything "decent" to them they'll hate but vice versa, if you present something shittey to them they would LOVE. You'd think creating shittey looking stuff is easy- ITS NOT.

&& im also behind on my tumblr posts. I dont even want to BOTHER going through about 10 days worth of posts. the thought is quite frightening. 

Would love to continue to blog more but im a lil behind of schedule today and just returned from jog which killed about an hour of my time.

Tis' all. I'll try to update more.

MENTALLY EXHAUSTED

FUCK YOU INFOGRAPHS

After this i do NOT want to do one for a VERY EFFING LONG TIME.

So i was able to get an extension (for that presentation thing im creating) to Thursday Morning, instead of the original Wednesday due date, and my request for Thursday Noon. Its about a 3 hour difference but I guess its better than nothing. I hope the request doesnt hurt my chances.

It also just means im probably not going to sleep Wednesday night.

Maybe i just wasnt meant for this job. I was sitting here for literally an hour and i wasnt able to come up with ANY concept for this piece i am illustrating. I have such a HUGE creative mental block right now it hurts. Fuck. Frustration level is at all time high right now.

Tis all.

Back to fucking illustrating..........or attempt to.

holey moley

Earlier in the evening at Starbucks. This was the speed my downloads were going at.

What the hell?!?!?! omg mind you that the "normal" speed is about 190KB/sec (ON A GOOD DAY!)
The net was clearly on steroids today.

Anyhoo. So long weekend has dawn on us. A long weekend that i SHOULD be enjoying but suddenly at 5:30pm today a bomb was dropped on me thus i abid farewell to my highly anticipated many-hours-of-trolling-tumblr-for-Arsenal-Charity-Ball-pictures long weekend. Oh and of course S&N's engagement ceremony and the last Arsenal game of the Season - all of which i am highly anticipating

But now, to get into details of "the bomb" now.

I haven't really told anyone yet but yes, i did make the shortlist for that interview that i spent what seemed like endless nights and days working on the prep and presentation for it. Round 2 officially began today when one of the guys that interviewed me, sent an e-mail outlining the "challenge" of this round. In short- the e-mail included a folder with content and image assets and I am asked to create a presentation by the coming Wednesday. There's really no restrictions, I am at creative freedom. Basically be innovative, be wild and be hardcore. 

When I first read this i felt my brain turn into mush. For the past week i've pretty much been just working exclusively on my "Sample" portfolio site (because i felt the need to have something up, rather then being mad ghettos and sending PDFs of my work) and trying to get it up by today.

BTW.
IT IS UP. FIND THE LINK YOURSELF......IT SHOULD BE PRETTY EASY FOR THOSE THAT SPENDS THEIR TIME LOOKING THROUGH MY STUFF. Let me know your thoughts if you DO see it. Feedback is much appreciated!!!!!!!!!

I spent SO much time redo-ing it and lost some sleep over it. It was extremely mentally draining and i thought after completing it this afternoon, i'd REALLY have some time to recover. Na Uh. No can do with Round 2 deadline in 4 days and I lose almost 2 days because of prior plans. I simply did not think i have the mental capacity to do anything spectacular and hardcore. I squeeeezed that creative sponge dry. I felt like I was out of tricks.

Lets also not forget about all the freelance opportunities that has suddenly popped up and i have to figure THAT out next week. 

That said though, after freaking out and crying internally for about 20 minutes- i was STILL able to send out another job application to a really awesome advertising and design boutique for an available position (TY cousin for showing me their website) and started drawing up a mental game plan for this Round 2 on the bus ride home.

Mental Note: Must watch what im drinking/eating this weekend. Potentially no gym until NEXT Thursday. :((((

But yes. Here we go. Round 2. *DING DING*

FUKKKEN BRING IT BIATCHES. I was made for this.

Let the games begin..................

TEEE SHIRT WEATHER

OK. HERE IT IS. UPDATE UPDATE.

[ The weekend is done again and i know i promised/sorta, an entry yesterday but i got lazy and procrastinated and the next thing you know its 1230am and i need to sleep to get up for 7am, for a 9am game at the pub. My apologies, sleep was definitely priority seeing i did not get much of it from the past weeeeek. ] <- As you can see i wrote this YESTERDAY. I was not lying.

So from my previous couple of entries, you kind of get the idea that i was so exhausted to a point of insanity. To recap, i had an interview with a really awesome company for a position that's pretty much "tailored" for me. I really did NOT think i had a chance even though i fit the description of the type of person they are looking for. Reason being is that i responded to it from seeing a posting on Monster and everybody knows, how many hits Monster gets- especially for design jobs. Anyways, didn't think i would be called back but they did. The catch here was that they called a day AFTER i took my laptop in for servicing. They listed a lot of specific things they wanted me to bring in as portfolio pieces and being the big fukken dumbass that i am- i have none of that backed up. It was ALL on that laptop that is in servicing, that won't be available for me until 2 weeks later. Thankfully after a rant with the cousin after i read the call-back e-mail, i somewhat formulated a game plan which was pretttttttttttty much to RECREATE several pieces and create a kick ass presentation. I had about 4.5 days to do all that. Even though it sounds like a lot of time, it actually wasn't. During those couple of days even though i managed to get in 6 hours of sleep, it was extremely mentally exhausting because i would get up at 8am to start working at it and literally grind at it until 2 am. I did 7 hour starbucks session, i also somehow managed to fit in an hour or two at the gym and obvs my downtime which included eating/crapping/showering.....QUICKLY. There were many, MANY instances where i started to doubt myself and wondered whether I was being a little bit too ambitious with what I was trying to achieve for this interview. At the end though, i ACTUALLY finished on schedule (surprisingly) and i personally thought i did an amazing job given the amount of time i had and the shitty slow old laptop i was using.

For anyone that cares- the interview went amazing. I hope i dont jinx myself by saying this but i am SO confident that i made the short-list for round 2. Okay maybe i shouldnt have said that because now i dont feel so confident no more after i typed it out. ah fakerys.

Moving on.

The other evening was also the night of the advanced screening of Something Borrowed that i won tix to (remember?!?!). The movie itself was absolutely fantastic. I LOVED it. Every minute. I loved it so so much i'm actually going to watch it again with K this week. As mentioned before, i am so in love with John Krasinski. After watching the movie i am even MORE in love with him. It is definitely time to download all seasons of the Office. And of course at the end of the movie, C and I managed to take a picture with the main actor. I'm totally taking this experience as practice to when i actually meet one of my Arsenal boys and i won't fan girl the fuck out in front of them. Thumbs Up and Big Grins.

Now, some quick point-form thoughts-

• E.I - So i've been informed that i will be not receiving employment insurance benefits as i thought i would be. This kind of spoils the summer in a way where i won't be able to patio as much, go out as much, go on certain camping trips and road trips, and obvs no new summer wardrobe. That said im hoping, hoping to be hired sooooon because i can't support this lifestyle of mine for very long on the savings i have. Wish me good luck kiddies.
• Beastmode- Since i'm unemployed and the gym is STILL taking money from my acct every month, i'm trying really hard to get fit and down to how i was last summer. I discovered the other week that i actually gained TEN pounds since December. Very, VERY bad. So beast mode totally on. That said, i think i am in the best shape i've ever been (not as good as last summer but close enough) health-wise. Like i've said many times before, i'm fueled by negative energy when i work out. Hence why i look like i am going to kill someone when im at the gym. I don't like people being in my way. I think that's the competitive nature side of me. I'm quite a competitive and jealous person by nature.
• HARRY POTTER- Had to add this. The trailer for the 2nd part of the 7th book aka 8th movie came out and as always- EPIC. EFFING EPIC. Watch watch watch.
• Osama Bin Laden's Death- For everyone's whos celebrating, i dont really think there's that much to celebrate for. I mean, even though the man is dead- his ideas and legacy isn't. And my thought was confirmed when Al Queda sent out that "chilling threat" on their website. Something along the lines of "Americans blood will mingle with our tears.....his death will be a curse to you americans and your agents......" x lovely. now they're upset. Definitely not something worth celebrating over, no?

Ok i've delayed with other work and posting this long enough.

Sorry kids if ive become boring.

Ambitious

Am i being a tad bit.....ambitious?

I'm planning my next 4 days before i sleep (to wake up EARLY for the ManU game tmr, proceeded by a bridal shower) and i feel like i really don't have time to accomplish and complete this huge presentation prep for this huge job interview on Thursday. I kind of lose more than half a day tmr, and half a day on Wednesday (for the movie screening) which technically only leaves me 2 FULL days. That's if I DON'T factor in sleeping and eating. I'm not even sure if i have time to go to the gym because l'll lose two hours. oh em gee.

Wish me good luck kids. Because if i can pull this off. It's going to be one kick-ass powerpoint presentation.


And yes, powerpoint presentations CAN BE kick-ass.

Quick Story

Once Upon a Time there lived a dork who was unemployed.

All her life, lady luck has never been her friend. She knows shes unlucky, but she really didn't think she was THAT unlucky.

I mean, all the jobs that she's had in the past were cut short either due to shortage of work, lack of budget, douchebag for a boss, and end of contract.

It's not ALLLLL completely related to bad luck right?

So here she is, with a variety of experience, a wealth of skill sets and a vibe of desperation (because she needs money).

Then here comes the wave of job interviews.

But none of them works out because she either fucks up, not fit for the company, did not do her research/prep work, and was not hired because she was holding a temp job that she could not leave.

Again, not really about luck right? Perhaps bad timing...........and maybe a bit of bad luck too. 

But she's still persistent and determined!

Over the past 2 weeks she's just been mindlessly applying for jobs in which she figures its worth a shot to send something in but not expecting a call back. All while working on her areas that needs improvements.

Three days ago her laptop did not turn on. Friends of the dork suspected it was a battery/power supply issue, the techs says it might be a motherboard issue.

Two days later one of those companies whom she applied to two weeks ago e-mails her back asking for an interview. Also listed in that e-mail is a whole LIST of specific things they would like to see from the dork.

But the dork's laptop is in service. The tech people said the return date is in 7- 21 days.

The dork's interview is in 5 days.

So now she has about 4 and a half days to replicate and re-create A LOT of her projects for this job interview. All the while learning some new advance skills to hopefully be able to knock the socks off of the THREE people whom will be interviewing her (includes an Art Director, a Senior Affiliate Coordinator and Director of Sponsorship Sales).

Yes, the dork concludes she has the worst fucking luck in he world.
Or rather, lack of.

...................

Story of my life. Story of my FUCKING LIFE PEOPLE. UGHHHHH
Please wish me good luck. I NEED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i owe you guys a nice lil read

This one is interesting!

Day 4- Seven things that cross your mind a lot.

1. MoneyThis is on my mind ALL. THE. TIME. But then i think its on everyone's mind because money IS everything. The people who say its NOT everything are people who clearly people who are delusional....and very not superficial. I'd rather not meet these people. That said, being newly unemployed (yet once again!) its time for me to be real cautious about my spending. But not even that, money has always been a huge ongoing issue for me. A lot of people may think that i have an excessive amount of dispoisable income but that's REALLLY not the case. I mean sure, i go to starbucks a lot but i actually order the cheapest thing on the menu (and also because i know some money saving tricks, it just seems like im ordering something delicious and expensive) and i save money on a lottttt of other stuff. I could probably save even more if i stopped drinking, but that's just me being unrealistic. I pay for a lot of stuff on my own, i don't ask for money and i also help my parents out with a very large expense that they carry on top of my OSAP debt that i owe the father (both my parents are unemployed at the moment 'mind you). So yeah, i'd say money is always on my mind especially when friends ask me to go out or to go out trips. I have to be very strategic about whom i can dine/lunch with. I can't always dine with one person and neglect another. I know, im terrible. I'm so sorry guys, i wish i can eat/go out/vacay/dine with ALL you guys :( but i know people are fairly understanding, so im very thankful for that.
2. Career Along with money, the thing that's im always fussing about - is what i want to do with my life. Where do i want to go, what do i want to do, what do i like doing, what CAN i do, what am i currently doing, etc. etc. I remember the cousin asked me what i was aiming to do/to be in 10 years and i really had zero idea. I mean i am barely getting by figuring out what i want to do a year from now (aside from wanting a stable, permanent, full-time job.....details are foggy) let a lone 10 years! That said this time around (being unemployed i mean) i really have to be more focused. I literally wasted a year and its not something i am too proud of.
3. BrotherMy brother's well-being, future, what he's up to, etc is ALWAYS on my mind but do i do anything about it? No. Simply said- i'm a bad sister and i am horribly ashamed and disappointed in myself. Sometimes i feel like, what right do i have to go trolling on him about what he's doing with his life when i barely know what i am doing with mine? Guilty as charged....sighs.
4. FamilyIt just might be the type of person I was brought up to be but i constantly think about my family and their future. I might not always show it but i always feel the need to have to take on the traditional eldest role and just take care of everything for my parents and of course, brother. I think this mentality is going to stick with me for life thus its very hard for me to, want to be ambitious in certain areas of my life because I will always want to be around to "take care" of them. In my mind, I'm not allowed to be selfish because i am the eldest.
5. The Way i lookThis sounds SO uber superficial of me but its true. My physical appearance is ALWAYS on my mind. Whether its my hair (which has to be straightened 80% of the time or i will not leave the house!) or my nails has to be nice (and not chipped/cracked) and obviously my weight. For someone who grew up always as the big girl (literally, in width AND height) in the group, people choosing to be your best girlfriends friend instead of yours because you're dorky looking and fat and wore bad clothes, or guys not giving you the time of the day because they judged you on your appearance - it kind of makes you superficial in that way.
6. Future Wedding Lame. I can't believe i am OPENLY admitting this on a public blog and it will probably incriminate me in the future (i guess l'll deal with it then) but i always find myself looking at wedding-related things and i would think "hey, i'd like that at my wedding" and save that inspiration in my ever-growing file of wedding inspirations. Hell, K even bought me a vintage typewriter (which i play to spraypaint white lol) for my birthday and its actually INTENDED for my future wedding. Fukked right? Yeah typing that out is actually a bit overwhelming lame. First off, i don't have a boyfriend and lets say if i ever do and it leads to you know, this actually happening....i'm hoping i can massage "him" into the plans i already have. HA. Lame once again. Can't help myself though.
7. PastWhat runs through my head a lot, are what if's. I linger and analyze details of the past a lot. I don't just think about recent things either. I still replay stuff that's happened 8 years ago. Perhaps this is my way of dealing with things but it happens a lot when I am alone. Sometimes i would replay it in my head over and over again, and look for those first signs of trouble. This might be why I am so analytical with my dreams and am so obsessed with the details. I find unspoken actions speaks volume as oppose to actual words being said. I wonder a lot, obsessed with alternate endings and scenarios. It's actually very unhealthy lol With that said, just because i think of the past a lot does not mean i linger. I sincerely believe what's meant to be will always find a way. At least i tell myself that otherwise l'm certain i will go insane with this unhealthyness haha.

That's that!

But because i owe you guys so much more to read, i'm going to KEEEEP on going haha.

Yesterday was my last day of my contract work on friday and it was pretty bittersweet. I did my rounds of goodbyes at the office and it was particularly hard with one of the ladies there because she was actually my "manager" when i worked there during highschool and she remembered me very well when i returned this time around. Saying a goodbye a second time around was a little sad. Since i'm unemployed again, three main things i need to concentrate on.

One- i need to go easy on the spendings. 
Because E.I this time around is not going to cut it. No more celebrity lifestyle for me yo. Expect to not see me that much people. Heads up now. 
Two- beast mode the shit outta my body.
Not only is it because it's summer, but because i know that i am capable of being "fit", i won't settle for less than that so going have to work harddddd alllll over again. Started jogging last night, it actually felt great. I think i'm going to start doing that.
Three- Work on finding a full-time job. 
Obvs, priority yo.

Ugh ugh i actually wanted to blog more buttttt because i am so "on top of things" today, will forego the stuff i wanted to rant about and do it another day.

Going to do nails, finish up "Unstoppable", read a bit more of "Catching Fire" (part of The Hunger Games trilogy aka THE BEST I'VE READ IN A VERY LONG TIME) and then sleep to wake for my 830 game tmr morning.

Hope that's enough of a read for now!

Project 3031: March Edition && blog mode on

Day 4: The best vacation you've ever gone on/your dream vacation

I'm going to choose to rant about my "dream" vacation and that would be to see Europe. Anywhere. I want to have a net book on me and just blog, by a canal or a cafe. Be able to experience the culture, the art and just in general be able to appreciate life. I don't know how to do that in Toronto. Things are so busy here, so complicated and nobody has time to just sit back, take a breather and realize/notice the natural order of things, the beauty that lurks in every detail of the cold, dark, expensive buildings we have. It's quite a shame. I remember K and I once talked about how Toronto is beautiful too but there's just so much "new" Toronto that overshadows the "old". I.E. A timmies RIGHT BESIDE a gorgeous cathedral on Bloor. Go figure right?

The world is out there. I just gotta poke my head out. Be brave, and be more selfish. Do something for myself instead of for others. Explore and enjoy another world. That would be my dream vacation.

###

Tis weekend is hereee and March is seriously going to fly.

• Tomorrow is the Cousin and R's annual Juss 4 fun fete and if anybody remembers from my FB pics from last year- it was crazy and messy. I anticipate the same for this year. 
• There's also what seems like to be a zillion Arsenal games for me to watch this month. The day honestly just goes by so much faster when I know the boys have a game to play the following day. 
• That said, it only means dear Annnbug and i will be having lots and lots of WAG nights and days at Scallys aka Gooners Central.
• I got my first Arsenal jersey (i think its safe to admit it here? i dont think any of my gooner twitter friends read my blog) and i can't wait to order four more. 
• Another job interview next week! I hope its not sketch because i feel like it is. Meeh. More interview experience for me. I keep on getting interviews, and things just keep on falling. But hey at least im getting calls right?
• I got my taxes done and put it this way- i think my San Diego trip is paid for. FUCK YES. 
• I need to up it with my work out. I've been on a good healthy lunch diet (not so healthy dinner but thats not the point) but not good w/ a workout regime. Fakerys. 
• The event that i was hired for is this Tuesday. I am nervous. I've been working on this since November. I hope there will be plenty of hot eye candy. Since i am in charge of the majority of registration, it basically means i get to talk to the majority of these hot eye candy. Giggle giggles.

Okay i need to go figure out my day for tomorrow now. And also clean my room. The clothes hill on my bed is very big and its starting to bug me. 

I'll be scheduling some posts through out the weekend. So enjoy! Outs.  i lied. didnt get around to it. sorry!

~

What is the point of being taken when the other person makes you feel like you're single.

A rant

Today was one of those days where i discovered how important it was to have an actual "role" in a company. More specifically for my situation- to have a "design" role/title of your own in a company/corporation, in order to:

a. prevent someone from stealing your designs and claiming it as their own.
b. have your ideas heard
c. (relates to A) to cut that bitch to the death that took your design and butchered it up

My current employment relies on pretty much every ounce of organization skills i possess and how disgustingly detail-oriented i can be. The more meticulous i am, the happier my manager is. Aside from that, it calls for zero creativeness. That said one of the tasks was to design the event brochure.....in Microsoft Publisher. For those who don't know what it is- its like a layout/document making program for non-design folks who doesn't care to learn for actual long document/layout making programs like Adobe InDesign and Quark. Simply put it- Publisher is extremely limited in its "functions" comparatively to the other design programs I normally use thus, I can ONLY make something look so "nice" given my limitations. I did my best, i presented what i felt was a brand new look and feel to what is a relatively "boring" and dull brochure yet, compiled with the corporate guidelines.

Next thing you know after about 10 revisions, my work gets shipped off to the Strategic and Communications department for "approval", andddd i pretty much am unable to touch my own work anymore.

Why?

Because, the "designer" in the cmm department did a much more creative job because they laid it out in Quark.

But i wasn't allowed to use Quark? I didn't even have access to it on my computer?

The corporate "designer" added a few other real snazzy elements to the design.

Well, those snazzy elements happen to just be small arrows that flew everywhere, CLUTTERED the page - but ripped my existing layout. Changed the font - but essentially stealing and kept all the elements that III came up with to improve the brochure. But still claimed it as their own.

The kerning was off, the white space was unbalance, i suspect they have zero idea what margins are, it was amateur-looking, and a shit load of other design-related issues that i dont remember but i do remember circling and underlining it as it was reviewed during our weekly committee meeting. Whats even more funny is the fact that the bankers who are part of this committee that i am on, were able to point out PRINT-RELATED issues with the layout.............and they're freaking business men! That's how OBVIOUS the mistakes were. But its okay because they loved the arrows. Oh they fucking loveeeeeeeeeeeeed the brilliant arrows.

As a result of all these "changes" (aka font change and an explosion of arrows), this communications "designer" will be in charge of completing the brochure and i am not allowed to touch it anymore. Even though its been under my charge since November.

You can freaking bet my attitude was NOT chirpy during the entire meeting after i was told this and im sure my face was sour as fuck.

All because, i am NOT the designer and simply just a minion. A minion who's very good at making lists.

FML.

You get walked on and your work is unappreciated and not credited to you. And this is why boys and girls - i need a fucking full-time graphics job.