Slumber Coma

Since i've came back from San Diego, i have been completely out of routine. I've been doing nothing, in terms of my freelance plus job hunting situation (except for maybe that one night where I did my all-nighter for this infographic that I wanted to send in to one particular company). I haven't been to the gym since as well (except on Saturday, which felt great because my body feels like its been run over by a bus!) and i feel like shit even more because of that. On top of that, i've been sleeping A LOT. I mean taking these two and a half hours naps during the day. I would be chatting and then I would be gone because ive fallen asleep on my oh-so-comfy bed behind me. What's even worst is this slumber coma that i fell into yesterday. Pretty much i slept ALL DAY yesterday. Partially because of this nagging painful headache that did not go away since Saturday afternoon, partially my upper body was sore from the gym (whenever bod is sore = me wanna sleep) and then, just because i felt like sleeping even though i SHOULD be doing a bit of freelance work. Um, i took a 4 hour nap before dinner. Ate dinner, ate cake for dessert on the couch but started to fall asleep!!! I then just gave up and went to bed at 7pm. Ridiculous no? I woke at 1115 and decided that i should just sleep through the night and wake up at 530am. Mainly because i fear i might turn into a vegetable if i let myself sleep until 10am- which im sure i would have been able to do.

I've been fairly productive when it comes to seeing people and going out though! That said- I MISS MY COUSIN. Its official. I don't remember what her face looks like no more and it makes me saddddd. So so sadddddd. Big sad face. I hopes to see her soon before our annual camping trip next week??? Pweleaseee??


I guess its good that im up right now and blogging (yesh! its only 7am). But i'm really losing focus. Its extremely difficult to stay positive when you've been in this limbo of a stage for almost two years now (its been TWO summers). Its not really like i haven't gotten any responses either because at least it shows that i'm doing something right. I must really be the talks when people gossip about who's doing what after graduation and me, K, been completely useless. Unemployed for this long, not really going anywhere with life amongst other things. Out of all people, i am seriously the last fucking person to be in this type of situation and here i am. All this bad luck- i'm convinced one of you wankers cursed me.

Especially lately, I've told myself, those are just vain words, from an empty mind. (I say mind because of one specific person). But ive always been that person that really gives a shit about what others think. I cannot, help but let that ruin me. But seriously, this person's two-faced-ness makes me bloody sick. I mean, if you are going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty, bitch. Ugh. 

And of course, right when I act spontaneously (i do that a lot)- my dreams (the ones i get at night, not the froo froo ones) brings me back to a broken reality and tells me, its not going to happen. Bummer, really. I think its this loss of focus that's causing me to lose that control i had over how i feel.

Or it might even be that- the cause of my slumber coma. mEEEH. we shall see this week.

GOOD MORNINGGGGG.

MENTALLY EXHAUSTED

FUCK YOU INFOGRAPHS

After this i do NOT want to do one for a VERY EFFING LONG TIME.

So i was able to get an extension (for that presentation thing im creating) to Thursday Morning, instead of the original Wednesday due date, and my request for Thursday Noon. Its about a 3 hour difference but I guess its better than nothing. I hope the request doesnt hurt my chances.

It also just means im probably not going to sleep Wednesday night.

Maybe i just wasnt meant for this job. I was sitting here for literally an hour and i wasnt able to come up with ANY concept for this piece i am illustrating. I have such a HUGE creative mental block right now it hurts. Fuck. Frustration level is at all time high right now.

Tis all.

Back to fucking illustrating..........or attempt to.

holey moley

Earlier in the evening at Starbucks. This was the speed my downloads were going at.

What the hell?!?!?! omg mind you that the "normal" speed is about 190KB/sec (ON A GOOD DAY!)
The net was clearly on steroids today.

Anyhoo. So long weekend has dawn on us. A long weekend that i SHOULD be enjoying but suddenly at 5:30pm today a bomb was dropped on me thus i abid farewell to my highly anticipated many-hours-of-trolling-tumblr-for-Arsenal-Charity-Ball-pictures long weekend. Oh and of course S&N's engagement ceremony and the last Arsenal game of the Season - all of which i am highly anticipating

But now, to get into details of "the bomb" now.

I haven't really told anyone yet but yes, i did make the shortlist for that interview that i spent what seemed like endless nights and days working on the prep and presentation for it. Round 2 officially began today when one of the guys that interviewed me, sent an e-mail outlining the "challenge" of this round. In short- the e-mail included a folder with content and image assets and I am asked to create a presentation by the coming Wednesday. There's really no restrictions, I am at creative freedom. Basically be innovative, be wild and be hardcore. 

When I first read this i felt my brain turn into mush. For the past week i've pretty much been just working exclusively on my "Sample" portfolio site (because i felt the need to have something up, rather then being mad ghettos and sending PDFs of my work) and trying to get it up by today.

BTW.
IT IS UP. FIND THE LINK YOURSELF......IT SHOULD BE PRETTY EASY FOR THOSE THAT SPENDS THEIR TIME LOOKING THROUGH MY STUFF. Let me know your thoughts if you DO see it. Feedback is much appreciated!!!!!!!!!

I spent SO much time redo-ing it and lost some sleep over it. It was extremely mentally draining and i thought after completing it this afternoon, i'd REALLY have some time to recover. Na Uh. No can do with Round 2 deadline in 4 days and I lose almost 2 days because of prior plans. I simply did not think i have the mental capacity to do anything spectacular and hardcore. I squeeeezed that creative sponge dry. I felt like I was out of tricks.

Lets also not forget about all the freelance opportunities that has suddenly popped up and i have to figure THAT out next week. 

That said though, after freaking out and crying internally for about 20 minutes- i was STILL able to send out another job application to a really awesome advertising and design boutique for an available position (TY cousin for showing me their website) and started drawing up a mental game plan for this Round 2 on the bus ride home.

Mental Note: Must watch what im drinking/eating this weekend. Potentially no gym until NEXT Thursday. :((((

But yes. Here we go. Round 2. *DING DING*

FUKKKEN BRING IT BIATCHES. I was made for this.

Let the games begin..................

Annoyed as fak

1. Its unbelievable how someone can be so rude, disrespectful and unappreciative. I think at the very least if you're "socially retarded" i can forgive you because its a disability. But being a big fucking bitch is NOT a disability. 
2. Mother thinks i have a new boyfriend. Its a comedy. An annoying one at my expense. 
3. The weather is so gloom and doom. 
4. Arsenal had SUCH a shittey end to the season yesterday. I'm so upset over that.
5. I don't have a starbucks next to me.
6. I hate this design piece i am working on. Everything about it is annoying and tedious. 
7. I have to go see my orthodontist today. The thought of his fake-concern for my teeth but really he just wants to milk my money alrdy peeves me.

I really can't wait to go combat tonight.

ROARRRRRRR.

Ambitious

Am i being a tad bit.....ambitious?

I'm planning my next 4 days before i sleep (to wake up EARLY for the ManU game tmr, proceeded by a bridal shower) and i feel like i really don't have time to accomplish and complete this huge presentation prep for this huge job interview on Thursday. I kind of lose more than half a day tmr, and half a day on Wednesday (for the movie screening) which technically only leaves me 2 FULL days. That's if I DON'T factor in sleeping and eating. I'm not even sure if i have time to go to the gym because l'll lose two hours. oh em gee.

Wish me good luck kids. Because if i can pull this off. It's going to be one kick-ass powerpoint presentation.


And yes, powerpoint presentations CAN BE kick-ass.

Quick Story

Once Upon a Time there lived a dork who was unemployed.

All her life, lady luck has never been her friend. She knows shes unlucky, but she really didn't think she was THAT unlucky.

I mean, all the jobs that she's had in the past were cut short either due to shortage of work, lack of budget, douchebag for a boss, and end of contract.

It's not ALLLLL completely related to bad luck right?

So here she is, with a variety of experience, a wealth of skill sets and a vibe of desperation (because she needs money).

Then here comes the wave of job interviews.

But none of them works out because she either fucks up, not fit for the company, did not do her research/prep work, and was not hired because she was holding a temp job that she could not leave.

Again, not really about luck right? Perhaps bad timing...........and maybe a bit of bad luck too. 

But she's still persistent and determined!

Over the past 2 weeks she's just been mindlessly applying for jobs in which she figures its worth a shot to send something in but not expecting a call back. All while working on her areas that needs improvements.

Three days ago her laptop did not turn on. Friends of the dork suspected it was a battery/power supply issue, the techs says it might be a motherboard issue.

Two days later one of those companies whom she applied to two weeks ago e-mails her back asking for an interview. Also listed in that e-mail is a whole LIST of specific things they would like to see from the dork.

But the dork's laptop is in service. The tech people said the return date is in 7- 21 days.

The dork's interview is in 5 days.

So now she has about 4 and a half days to replicate and re-create A LOT of her projects for this job interview. All the while learning some new advance skills to hopefully be able to knock the socks off of the THREE people whom will be interviewing her (includes an Art Director, a Senior Affiliate Coordinator and Director of Sponsorship Sales).

Yes, the dork concludes she has the worst fucking luck in he world.
Or rather, lack of.

...................

Story of my life. Story of my FUCKING LIFE PEOPLE. UGHHHHH
Please wish me good luck. I NEED IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

bitch rant mood

Be prepared to read a full rant by either tonight or tomorrow. i feel like just ranting the shit out.

Anyways. just some random side nerd sharings-

• The movie THOR is rated shockingly HIGH at 93%. This makes me feel better about dragging the boys to go see it!
• && First photo from the set of the Avengers movie.

EPICCCC. 
Of course, only iiiiii would be all up over this.

Apparently

im awfully selfish 

- according to my father. for the past 45 minutes. 

So remember that people. Don't count on me for anything because im sooooooo selfish, arrogant and can't be count on.

Oh and my laptop is out for a good 2-3 weeks. im on my old laptop that i can't stand.

What a wonderful day today has been.

im just a wreck today (rant)

i think people should stay clear of me today.


10:48am: 

• annoyed by several things
• woke up from a terrible dream (essentially it was the undeniable future), pillow wet to the max from tears
• terrible aching cramps
• watched "Strangers, Again" (Wong Fu Productions), which i think is the worst decision in the world right now. i couldn't even finished the short because i felt like dying at half way point. 
• noticed how ugly my nails are
• also breaking out and fat

i just feel like curling up into a ball, curtains drawn, and sulking in the dark today.

and its not even quite 11am yet.

damn you female hormones. curses to chooo.

Opt out

geez even a 6th grader is going to a party

When you're poor, you tend to miss out on a lot of stuff.

i.e. why i am at home and not out like everyone else, on a night that starts Easter long weekend.

Sad face.

i think l'll be opt-ing out on many things this summer. That's until i get a final decision on whether i will be receiving E.I. (Which is looking grim) or find a FT job. Either or.

Triple million sad faces.

Go donate dammmnit.

I was going to go on mindlessly blogging about my life when A bbm-ed me to tell me that she heard that a Tsunami was suppose to hit Japan in (a then) 15 minutes. I really don't remember what my reaction was except that i felt horror for the people. Like, if you KNEW this was coming at you.....where can you run? Who are you going to warn? Does the people even know? Because i'm sure INTERNET/TV/PHONES are down. While the rest of the world knows EXACTLY WHEN and WHERE disaster is going to hit and the # of people in other parts of the world cannot do a single damn thing for these people. It's like knowingly having the knowledge of when one is going to die yet we can't do anything to help them. That's how i feel right now.

Um, i'm not one to be personally attached to these type of natural disasters (i.e. Hurricane Katrina, Haiti, China Earthquake a year ago). It's extremely unfortunate, its extremely devastating, tragic- the list goes on. I know, i get it. I may sound extremely insensitive but what good will it do if i cried with everyone else. It's not that i don't care but I believe in taking action and the best action is to donate money for relief and to help them prepare for the future (whether its to stay alive in current conditions or to rebuild the country). Because i am pretty atheist therefore i will probably get shot for saying this but - praying won't help those citizens have food in their stomach, shelter over their heads, a warm blanket on their shoulder. Sure you may pray for the natural disasters to stop "coming" but directly for the "people", its not gonna do crap. I'm not a hypocrite either, i DID donate money and i plan to donate more. To me it's just one less drinking night, one less dress, one less poutine. I will survive, i don't know about the Japanese at a time like this. If you really DO care, you would do something about it and not just say you do. But that's me just saying.

{ADD-ON after talking to someone that pissed me off:
As SOME of you may know. I don't really like the Japanese. Mainly because of what they did to China in World War II. I'm not exactly sure if anyone has really heard or know about this part of history, but this period of time where China went through the worst, unimaginable sufferings (BECAUSE of the Japanese) was called, The Nanking Massacre (Nanjing Massacre) or the Rape of Nanking. It's exactly what it sounds like, mass murder and war rape that occurred during what was a 6 week period. (From wikipedia- During this period, 200,000+ Chinese civilians and disarmed soldiers were murdered and 20,000–80,000 women were raped by soldiers of the Imperial Japanese Army.) I absolutely REFUSE to go into history details because this is NOT the time to. I've watched documentary's (sickening) on this and read up on this and put it this way- i was pissed at Japanese people for weeks. Many, many fucking weeks. So if even i am willing to donate to help them, that's saying A LOT. So all you fucks can leave me alone about me being "insensitive" and not caring and how i shouldn't say that praying won't do anything. It's MY opinion and I don't see you effing donating now do i? SCREW YOU. UGH. Way to kill my mood.}

I leave you guys with some images which i found that completely killed me. Yeah, as if the videos and images of the rushing, gushing, dangerous dark waters coming at you and moving huge cargo ships across the highway is not enough for me. Again, i know, the insensitive-ness, i don't know why.

The magnitude of the damage is....horrific. A country, drowning. LITERALLY.
I got the images from here. Should go see more. 

Pictures of children hits me.....really hard. I love kids and seeing them scared and confused kills me.

Evacuation and keeping the kids warm.....poor lil things......

Credit: here

Suffering Family

Credit: here

To check for radiation.....

Credit: here

And what totally makes my heart cry?

Poor terrified Pananda grabbing onto a policemen's leg after the earthquake.

AND YOU GUYS SHOULD KNOW HOW MUCH I LOVE PANDAS DAMMIT.

............so go donate. 

Pervert in the PATH

Everybody knows what the PATH is right? It's Toronto's underground shopping complex of connecting tunnels from various large office towers in the downtown area. Apparently its the world's largest underground shopping complex in the world according the Guinness World Records. Anyways, I've been working dt at the CIBC building so i am there exploring the tunnels frequently during my lunch hour for new shops, food and men in sexy suits.

You know what it also contains? FUCKING PERVERTS.

Yup. My story begins.

I was on my lunch break and i BELIEVE......i was in the BMO/TD building concourse area (where the LCBO, the Gap is to all those that work dt) and i kind of stepped aside to think about where i wanted to eat and to also to obviously pin on my blueberry (i didnt want to impose on the fast walking traffic). Anyways, looking down, not paying attention, msging away when the next thing you know. Someone fucking grabs my ass.

.......................

Yeah. Not a pat. Not a brush-by. A full-force, grab/squeeze-a-chunk-of-your-ass-cheek-during-heavy-duty-make-out-sessions-by-your-lover's-entire-fucking-hand kind of grab.

Initial thought. Someone I know. Turn around. See no one. Only see lots of people walking off looking like they are doing something important. Next thought, well, not really thought, next FEELING- shock.

Holy mother fuck!!!!!! What the shit is that?!?!?! I was PISSSED beyond belief because i didnt see the motherfucker that grabbed me and completely SHOCKED out of my effing mind. That's Sexual Harassment RIGHT THEREEEEE. Holey moley. Yo if i saw that fucking bastards face i would have chased after him and fucking chopped his hands off and THEN call the fucking police to fucking throw his sorry perverted asshole in jail. I cannnot believe i didnt see who it was. FUCKERY. It's several hours after and i am STILL shocked at what happened.

Obviously i cant do a single fucking thing now but this teaches me two things:

1. Ladies- watch your back. An ass grab is honestly nothing to me (not implying l'll let anyone grab my bum but its seriously a big meeh to me) but it only shows that anything can happen when you aren't paying attention.
2. To STOP being such a bbm addict. If i can get sexually harassed in broad, artificial daylight with hundreds of people around me and the bastard can get away with it- imagine at night or when you're walking on the streets alone and not paying attention to your surrounding. You either get hit by a car or get hit with something worst by someone and then you know what the far worst can happen after you've been knocked out. Just saying.

I hope that son of a bitch rots in hell.

A rant

Today was one of those days where i discovered how important it was to have an actual "role" in a company. More specifically for my situation- to have a "design" role/title of your own in a company/corporation, in order to:

a. prevent someone from stealing your designs and claiming it as their own.
b. have your ideas heard
c. (relates to A) to cut that bitch to the death that took your design and butchered it up

My current employment relies on pretty much every ounce of organization skills i possess and how disgustingly detail-oriented i can be. The more meticulous i am, the happier my manager is. Aside from that, it calls for zero creativeness. That said one of the tasks was to design the event brochure.....in Microsoft Publisher. For those who don't know what it is- its like a layout/document making program for non-design folks who doesn't care to learn for actual long document/layout making programs like Adobe InDesign and Quark. Simply put it- Publisher is extremely limited in its "functions" comparatively to the other design programs I normally use thus, I can ONLY make something look so "nice" given my limitations. I did my best, i presented what i felt was a brand new look and feel to what is a relatively "boring" and dull brochure yet, compiled with the corporate guidelines.

Next thing you know after about 10 revisions, my work gets shipped off to the Strategic and Communications department for "approval", andddd i pretty much am unable to touch my own work anymore.

Why?

Because, the "designer" in the cmm department did a much more creative job because they laid it out in Quark.

But i wasn't allowed to use Quark? I didn't even have access to it on my computer?

The corporate "designer" added a few other real snazzy elements to the design.

Well, those snazzy elements happen to just be small arrows that flew everywhere, CLUTTERED the page - but ripped my existing layout. Changed the font - but essentially stealing and kept all the elements that III came up with to improve the brochure. But still claimed it as their own.

The kerning was off, the white space was unbalance, i suspect they have zero idea what margins are, it was amateur-looking, and a shit load of other design-related issues that i dont remember but i do remember circling and underlining it as it was reviewed during our weekly committee meeting. Whats even more funny is the fact that the bankers who are part of this committee that i am on, were able to point out PRINT-RELATED issues with the layout.............and they're freaking business men! That's how OBVIOUS the mistakes were. But its okay because they loved the arrows. Oh they fucking loveeeeeeeeeeeeed the brilliant arrows.

As a result of all these "changes" (aka font change and an explosion of arrows), this communications "designer" will be in charge of completing the brochure and i am not allowed to touch it anymore. Even though its been under my charge since November.

You can freaking bet my attitude was NOT chirpy during the entire meeting after i was told this and im sure my face was sour as fuck.

All because, i am NOT the designer and simply just a minion. A minion who's very good at making lists.

FML.

You get walked on and your work is unappreciated and not credited to you. And this is why boys and girls - i need a fucking full-time graphics job.

Bitch move

Yo. i am pissed as hell. For a guy to go fucking block me on fb because we "didn't work out" is an immature bitch move. If i ever see him again, i think l'll seriously stab his face and probably penis too. Fuck you man. You're not even at my level, don't think talking smack and making bitch moves will make you any less of a cunt. Grow the fuck up and understand what ADULT relationships are actually about.



Excuse my language. I am seriously ticked off.

BBM

Every single person who has met me and know me would know i am notorious for being on my blueberry. Whether its for checking soccer match scores, twitter, facebook, texts, taking pictures, emails and/or bbm - my thumbs are glued to the keyboard. I think it wouldn't be much for me to say that I am an avid bb user.

That said now, I am at a SB trying to type up a cover letter (that ive seriously been working on for the past FOUR effing hours) and this girl's BBM alert keeps on fucking going off and it is driving me INSANE. Ohmygod. TURN THE GOD-DAMN FUCKING SOUND OFF.

SHIT.

This is coming from someone who lovessssssss and worships their blackberry. But i also value and love this thing called silence while others are trying to do work.

OMG GO AWAY YOU MISERABLE INCONSIDERATE WHORE.

15 more minutes of this, shes going down.

UPDATE//

Her and her friends actually left 5 mins after i finished posting this.
She must have felt my jedi mind threats.

Severe case of Holiday Blues

I tried really hard to change how this Christmas was going to be like this year. Everything i can do to not be alone, to create new traditions, to not allow myself to be pitiful and feel sorry for myself. I seriously, honest to god felt the way my Christmas Eve was spent - things might actually not be so bad and god probably might even be good to me.

Things dramatically went downhill from there. The root and cause of the problem being things at home. The favoritism of my brother has never been more evident - no matter how successful I am, my brother is entitled to the same luxuries without working for it. I feel like I am growing further apart from my mother because of her stubborn, restrained and old-fashion mind. The plus side is I feel like sometimes now that the older my father gets, the more he understands things.......when he isn't angry that is.

Everything just fell apart.

The perfect Christmas that i was suppose to have, expected to have - Gone. Stolen. Taken away from me.

The new Christmas that i wished to have now also non-existing with the exception of the great couple of hours escape i had over at K's last night. It was a great few hours i got to spend in company of good people. Her family are kind people to let me join. I appreciate and am forever grateful for that. They have no idea.

Then this morning those broken parts of this holiday just continued to crumble into dust. I got into the largest fight with the mother I have EVER gotten into in the existence of my life. It was brutal. Beliefs were brought up, harsh words were exchanged and it was obvious she was not gonna back down and knowing me when i am pissed, my attitude and face exhibits the words - Bring. It. On.

Yes, to my own mother. It was the worst, sickening and hurtful feeling.

I know that all of my friends are busy with boxing day and holiday festivities and the one thing i hate is to hassle them with my problems. I refuse to have friends change their plans for me. I refuse to have people go out of their way to see me. People that cares about me has done SO much for me this year without me asking for anything. You do not pay back good grace with selfishness. You do not treat people like that (something that I was trying to make my mother understand during our fight) and I especially am not going to repay back my friends by dragging them out of what they originally plan simply because i am sad.

I HAD to get out of the house even though I still have a fever and a crazy beast-like cough. Which was why i took refuge to the one place (as STUPID as it sounds) i know l always feel safe and warm at - Starbucks. After drugging myself up with cough meds and sinus drugs I ran all the way to the Yonge and Eglinton Starbucks because i also remembered my 2nd haven was there (being my used bookstore) aka My peaceful sanctuary.

So far its been a good choice to come. I find books to be very comforting (as NERDY as that sounds), the people working are always pleasant, i found 3 books, it was worth the trip. As for Starbucks, i know the workers were going to be good to me (been to this location a couple of times before and never been given grief), the guy at the bar even got me to laugh for a bit - more than i can ask for today. Sad how a coffee shop can give me that type of security. Might be the meaning behind it. Which would be even more sad.

That said comes down to me being here alone, typing up this vent with tears streaming down my face.

I hope they don't think im suicidal. Don't think SB is insured for that kind of stuff.

I'm alright. I'll get through this. Because hey, when do i ever not cry? : )

Bye.

Capital Punishment- Bitch Rant

Some of you might have noticed i went explosive on my FB and Twitter updates with my angry status updates this morning. Story of my life:

Someone really hates me and decided to cut my house's CABLE, HOME PHONE & INTERNET (GAH) lines. Well i dont know was it deliberate but wtf man. What are the effing chances of that?!?!!! Either that or its god's way of punishing me for something i did. Maybe i should swear less, spend less and be less of a bitch.

Result of that?

My journey to Starbucks for their internet at 530am in the morning.

• Which meant waking up at 5am. I went to sleep at 1am. Half an hour prior to that i came home to discover the lack of communication to the technological world.
• I am quite impressed with the fact though, that my brother took the initiative to call Rogers to schedule for a rescue team to come save our internet. It only shows that he CAN do stuff without me holding his hand.  
• He however wasnt able to get a credit though. i was. teehee.
• The reason why i need the internet so DESPERATELY is because i owe freelance work and it was suppose to be sent in since last night at midnight. 
• Buying two timmies breakfast wrap to keep me awake. 
• The sausage one is quite good. I perfer this over their english muffins/biscuit sandwiches because its a brown pita wrap and its a lot less fatty. Even though i do need two to make me full.
• Showing up at 545.....15 minutes before they open. It was a big bitch to stand outside in the cold and dark but this is what i call dedication.
• Clearly i had no concept of how fast the ttc ran in the morning. 
• They run very fast.
• Ordering a Tall Bold for the FIRST TIME EVER in all my times buying from Starbucks. I have NEVER, EVER BOUGHT a PLAIN coffee from them. 
• I'm already on my second refill, an hour later. 
• Going for three. Its kind of disgusting thinking about it.
• Dealing with a rude barista. 
• Okay, i know how hard it is to open in the mornings (HENCE why i named this entry CAPITAL PUNISHMENT). The prior mister opens and before he would bitch and moan about it to me so i effing know. The people who was on the bus with me looked miserable and tired. The sky is dark, its cold outside. I GET IT. But hey. You're working at Starbucks- a coffee shop that is famous for their customer service, i expect you to fucking greet me and serve me like you have sunshine beaming outta your ass. Fine. Not even at 6am. But i at least expect you to NOT BE A BITCH when i tipped you guys 2 bucks for a 2 dollar coffee because i wanted to reward you guys for being TROOPERS. I should have taken my fucking toonie back and not even left you a dirty penny. If you can't handle it, DON'T WORK AT SB. Don't give me your bitch face. I don't want to see it nor am i in any mood for that.
•  Completing/doing work in general at 6am in the morning.
• I have not done that since GCM instrumentations/project due days

I'm done my work but what am i still doing here? Abusing their internet since i am awake and high on coffee. I am downloading enough shit to last me a day at home without internet in event the Rogers people cannot fix it within the day. 

Argh and i also think i strained a thigh muscle or something. Its freaking killing me.

Raw raw raw. Major bitch mode when lack of sleep.

Death Screen

is it REALLLY asking so much, to want to buy tickets for a Ryan Gosling movie????
Though the chances of him being there is pretty damn high but reallllly now. Is that really asking for so much???

ARGHHH.

FAIL RANTTTTT

I've pretty much spent my entire day here at sb. &&& its been mad fail one after another.

lets start with how ive been here for 4+ hours and i have ONLY one download complete? yeah. because the net keeps on restarting. its either starbucks catching on (which i don't think is very likely because they dont have time to monitor bandwidth abusers like myself) or its just me and my (lack of) effing luck.

next. been trying to upload a new layout and i literally spent a whole hour sitting here trying to figure out a chunk of code and at the end the RESOLUTION to this rocket-science-like issue i had was simply adding a freaking "/" sign to the end of the code. !@#$%&

next. its like a damn icebox here. im sitting in an icebox wearing a summer dress.
i have to periodically get up from my seat and go outside because i am literally shivering in my seat.

next. effing china men sitting down at my table. yes. it is VERY OKAY for you to sit your green ass down without asking me when your friend who is sitting across from you and clearly has a table free but you choose to use mine. tard.

next. giving SB way too much of my money in one sitting because i've been so frustrated/annoyed/COLD that i needed food and more drinks to keep me sane.

i wonder how many more fails can occur before A gets here.

arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Butch vs. Polite ~ 粗魯對斯文

As i bused home today from Combat, a good dozen of these 斯文 (see mun)(poe-lite, delicate-looking) girls came on. Obviously because i live across the 53 line i see a million of these girls a week. I would describe these girls as (asian) pretty-looking, feminine, hair done, hair in place, pale-skin, petite, pretty clothes and large doll-like eyes with blue/purple/green contacts on. I'll even go ahead and can assume they all are soft-spoken and have really sweet anime-like voices.

(Barf) Argh. I hate those type of girls.

Seeing all these girls today got me thinking of something that the bestest and i have discussed before, which was whether guys are attracted to girls that are polite/斯文 and are extremely feminine or is it all in the personality, even if the girl is a bit more butch/粗魯. I believe that bestest and i attempted to be polite/斯文 for a day and it was just down right DIFFICULT to lower our voices when we speak, to be more feminine and even swear less. haha thinking about it now it was just outrageous for us to even try. It's just not in my nature. lol

That said it kind of sucks for us (well me, not her because shes taken lol) because it seems like the majority of guys are really into that type of girls. It sucks in particular for me because i am such a giant....that wears glasses and laughs loudly all the time...completely opposite of these China Dolls! So i dunno, guys do you actually prefer China Dolls or is a girl being a little butch but totally fun more attractive? Be honest. I personally think for any guy, they would all prefer a sweet little girl. Who wouldn't want something sweet right? Even my mom perfers that. She thinks i'm a big loud boy with boy-like tendencies. Now that im single, she is pro-me turning into a princess. (Gag) She mentioned on several occasions that i should tone it (my personality!?!?) down or else i'll never be able to find a boyfriend (again) if i don't start acting lady-like. Actually she has always felt that i was a boy even when i was taken and was shocked that the than-mister was able to accept my manly behaviors. (Very funny. But true) In fact, she recently disclosed to me that she thinks im turning into an alcoholic but that's a different story for a different day haha. Alcoholism is a big no-no and definitely not lady-like hahah.

Anyways. That's just a small thought that came about during my ride on the non-ac/ed bus ~


Off topic now-

I concluded something tonight. Something i cant hold off anymore.

I.

Need.

New.

Glasses.

.........ARGHHHHH. My current ones are scratched up beyond imaginable. They are SO bad, that even color/vision now more fuzzy/disoriented because the scratched-up-ness. SOBSSS. That's going to be another 400 gone, due to my ridiculous blinded eye sight. Please take me glasses shopping K.

& A just informed me that my beloved Michael Owen and his Manchester U team is coming this Friday for a match at the Rogers Center. I'm on a hunt for tickets but i really doubt l'll be able to find anything decent. Sighs. I really want to see Michael Owen....sighs sighs sighs. Wait til Barcelona or Real Madrid come to town.....those are the big guns im waiting for!!!! <3 Futbol.

Continue to hunt hunt hunt!!!!