Read the intro to this: here
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Topic 10- Discuss your first love and first kiss.
I spill almost every dirty secret i have on this blog anyways, this is no biggy and should be the MOST interesting one out of the 30 topics i'm going to be ranting about. Let's begin.So. First love and first kiss. Some people's first love is a different person from the person they first kissed. For the big dork that i am (and bigger dork back then) i would guessss my first "love" was also my first kiss. I can actually say 6453 was my first love even though it was SO completely one sided and he was such an obsession. Whoa big surprise right? No. Not really. My first love burned to ashes the moment he said he did not feel the same. There's that saying- 初戀你會記得一世 [ You will remember your first love forever ]. I agree with that completely. I feel like because they were the first person that you felt you would and could do anything for, its carved and benchmarks are set for what "being in love" feels like in your heart. I was dead scared that i would never be able to find somebody like him and a small part of me felt like the reason why some of the guys i "liked" never worked out because they did not possess that "part" of him that i wanted. Obviously i was horribly wrong and went on and met someone else that was the opposite of what i thought i wanted and was clearly so much happier. I craved that first love feeling when i was in the midst of my boyfriend searching (that didn't work mind' you. "Searching" will never end happily. Its when it unexpectedly shows up in front of you, that's the real deal) but at the same time i knew i was never going to get that feeling again. It wasn't because i didn't love this new person as much as i did with 6453 but because first loves tend to be what i believe is childhood fairytale love. Simple and naive. When you enter the next relationship and fall in love, you tend to be more careful, more cautious to preserve what may be a fairytale love- in the adult world. If i learned anything from falling in love with M, was that with time- wounds can heal, people can change and reasons will eventually be revealed. Because of that i have no regrets. Those faded emotions is affirmation that this time around things will be okay and i will survive. If i did not have that first love, i don't think i will believe that things do happen for the a better reason.
I genuinely believe you will encounter three people in your life.
- The person that you loved the most but can never be with
- The person that loved you the most but can never be with
- The person you love and loves you will be together forever.
At this very point, i have no idea who fits into what. I am thinking M might be the first one, but i'm really not sure. That is beyond the point though. Whether they are currently not or isss...... in my life, i do hope person #3 will reveal themselves soon or at least, eventually. Sad face.
OH. And as for first kiss. Haha (the dirty stuff!!)
It was with 6453 in Miliken park. It was excellent. It felt like i scored the winning cup at the world cup (i can't think of a better analogy haha) Especially because he was white!! It was like a triple score done blindfolded!!!! I remember going home and msged twin right away lolllll I hope i wasn't too shitty or sloppy yo thinking about it hahah. It shouldn't have been since there was a 2nd and 3rd and 4th one after that? haha
Sighs. lol Gotta love my teenage years.
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