I was looking through some of my pictures on facebook during my "break" today and noticed how much nicer my skin was a year or two ago. It was literally pimple-free, pores looked minimized and blemish-free, hmm maybe a few freckles here and there- something i can totally cope with. Today, my face is oily, blotchy, red, full of pimples and worst of all- scars and blemishes all over my cheeks. I am not exaggerating either (seeing i have a tendency to) but i'm almost confident that people do notice a change but are just polite and not bring it up in fear it might hurt my feelings (it probably will, so please don't mention it because i don't like it when people state the obvious).
The other day when i was spending time with my lonesome self, i decided to go and get a "Deep Cleansing Facial" at a spa. I've never been one to actively suggest going to get a facial or anything like that but i don't know what got into me and thought why not....i'm bored, LX was on-call for cooking and doing chores (while his parents partied lol) and i had a couple of bucks to spare.
Anyways so i got that, and kind of regret it the moment i looked in the mirror. The lady didn't exactly "explain" to me what she was going to do to my face but rather just emphasized the benefits of getting it. Clearly i was sold thus i told her to go ahead. She did the usual cleansing, steaming, exfoliation, EXTRACTION and so on. Yeah, um i forgot to ask exactly what was a facial "extraction" until she began poking and probing my face with her "Pimple-Killing" tools which consisted of a pimple-poking needle and some other smaller contraption that was used to push against my skin until the "stuff" from underneath my skin would explode onto the surface. It was the most painful thing my face has ever endured to a point i wanted to cry but i told myself- this will work, this will "help" clear my face. In the middle of the extraction she mentioned that my face will be pretty "Swollen" and "Red" but that's normal after the extraction/facial. Okay, as if the red warning flags weren't waving frantically and my inner minions weren't screaming CAUTION already- i told myself that it will be okay, i just need to live through this and i can have clear skin b/c I am pretty desperate right now. No doubt after the facial was complete my skin was SUPER smooth and soft but the red, blotchy spots were just TERRIBLE and alarming. Its only been a couple a days and it has SOMEWHAT calmed down, but the spots are still there. I am PRAYING to the higher being that this will really work and it will all be "calmed down" by next week.
I guess what this whole bitch rant/whine comes down to is, people (whether guys or girls) really shouldn't take "good" skin for-granted. Through highschool (aside from the early adolescent years) and the first few years of university, i thought i was blessed with good skin. Good skin that didn't need all that cleansing shit and lotion, and such good skin, friends would tell me i have "perfect" skin and i should shut my trap whenever i complained about a pimple on my chin. I took it for-granted and now its taken away from me due to my lack of "gratitude" i guess, lack of maintenance and pure carelessness. I feel nasty, i'm horribly disgusted with the state my skin is in, i feel fat, i feel ugly.
It's one of those life lessons and mistakes where i'm not going to allow my future daughter to make. I swear the minute she turns 10, im going to make her start cleansing her face for the rest of her life. It is absolutely something that i regret not doing and now it's really too late.
I've been meaning to call a couple of friends to get together since i've been lazy and neglected ALOT of people, and also call out the GCM girls b/c i miss them. But with this skin problem that has become much more severe lately, i'm quite hesitate in going anywhere in general because i don't like leaving the house feeling and looking like shit. I don't want to cover it up with foundation/powder because i feel like im just suffocating my skin with more stuff hence i go to work looking like crap. but nobody cares at work so its okay (thank god). I mean unless its absolutely necessary, i will cover it up. But then l'll just feel like 2 weeks worth of eating/drinking healthy, doing home masks and sleeping early will go to waste. The mister has been quite supportive and helping me research articles on the net on tips and remedies i can do to help improve the state my skin is in. Other than that, i'm not really feeling too great at the moment.
IN CONCLUSION, all this just means i will be in hiding until my face clears up/is presentable. This sentence is pretty vague because one might ask- what if your skin never clears up? Yeah, that willl become quite a problem wouldn't it, hm I will figure it out once i get to that point. This would also explain my absence on MSN (also because MSN STILL doesn't work on my laptop and logging in onto MEEBO is a drag.) and my lack of social updates on facebook because i have truly turned into a hermit once again.
Good night to you all.
