The most important thing I realized is that painful breakups, unrequited love, shitty jobs and the like help us to BUILD CHARACTER and that no matter how bad it feels, we are much better off because of it. Sometimes you have to stand alone to make sure you can. Forget what you want to remember what you deserve.You may not end up where you thought you'd be, but you'll always end up where you were meant to be. You can either let these bad things, define you, destroy you or strengthen you. Fight through it like a warrior. Greater things are to come.

Monday, August 8, 2011

Slumber Coma

Since i've came back from San Diego, i have been completely out of routine. I've been doing nothing, in terms of my freelance plus job hunting situation (except for maybe that one night where I did my all-nighter for this infographic that I wanted to send in to one particular company). I haven't been to the gym since as well (except on Saturday, which felt great because my body feels like its been run over by a bus!) and i feel like shit even more because of that. On top of that, i've been sleeping A LOT. I mean taking these two and a half hours naps during the day. I would be chatting and then I would be gone because ive fallen asleep on my oh-so-comfy bed behind me. What's even worst is this slumber coma that i fell into yesterday. Pretty much i slept ALL DAY yesterday. Partially because of this nagging painful headache that did not go away since Saturday afternoon, partially my upper body was sore from the gym (whenever bod is sore = me wanna sleep) and then, just because i felt like sleeping even though i SHOULD be doing a bit of freelance work. Um, i took a 4 hour nap before dinner. Ate dinner, ate cake for dessert on the couch but started to fall asleep!!! I then just gave up and went to bed at 7pm. Ridiculous no? I woke at 1115 and decided that i should just sleep through the night and wake up at 530am. Mainly because i fear i might turn into a vegetable if i let myself sleep until 10am- which im sure i would have been able to do.

I've been fairly productive when it comes to seeing people and going out though! That said- I MISS MY COUSIN. Its official. I don't remember what her face looks like no more and it makes me saddddd. So so sadddddd. Big sad face. I hopes to see her soon before our annual camping trip next week??? Pweleaseee??

I guess its good that im up right now and blogging (yesh! its only 7am). But i'm really losing focus. Its extremely difficult to stay positive when you've been in this limbo of a stage for almost two years now (its been TWO summers). Its not really like i haven't gotten any responses either because at least it shows that i'm doing something right. I must really be the talks when people gossip about who's doing what after graduation and me, K, been completely useless. Unemployed for this long, not really going anywhere with life amongst other things. Out of all people, i am seriously the last fucking person to be in this type of situation and here i am. All this bad luck- i'm convinced one of you wankers cursed me.

Especially lately, I've told myself, those are just vain words, from an empty mind. (I say mind because of one specific person). But ive always been that person that really gives a shit about what others think. I cannot, help but let that ruin me. But seriously, this person's two-faced-ness makes me bloody sick. I mean, if you are going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty, bitch. Ugh. 

And of course, right when I act spontaneously (i do that a lot)- my dreams (the ones i get at night, not the froo froo ones) brings me back to a broken reality and tells me, its not going to happen. Bummer, really. I think its this loss of focus that's causing me to lose that control i had over how i feel.

Or it might even be that- the cause of my slumber coma. mEEEH. we shall see this week.



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