The most important thing I realized is that painful breakups, unrequited love, shitty jobs and the like help us to BUILD CHARACTER and that no matter how bad it feels, we are much better off because of it. Sometimes you have to stand alone to make sure you can. Forget what you want to remember what you deserve.You may not end up where you thought you'd be, but you'll always end up where you were meant to be. You can either let these bad things, define you, destroy you or strengthen you. Fight through it like a warrior. Greater things are to come.

Thursday, September 30, 2010

ffound

HAHAHAHHA HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA
Happy Weekend folks!
I have a really busy week coming up. Hopefully everything works out and my "ideal" situation ( read: link ) works out.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

I wanna go to hogwarts

Twin is going to Hogwarts in Dec/Jan.

I think she's getting me a wand.

*GASPS*

TEEHEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHHEHEHHEE

Random jot down thoughts-
  • This weekend is going to epic! Starting tomorrow. It might possibly be a 3 days in a row drinking binge.
    • yes yes yes!!
  • I spent pretty much the entire day reading back all my old xanga entries
    • Went through a lot of forgotten memories
    • Noticed my english improved drastically since i started blogging five years ago over at saymuidang
    • Reading about my crush from first year gcm makes me blush. TEHEHEHE Bobblehead? hahah
    • Quote from Twin that made me laughh:
      Me: You know...... [ insert very long dialogue here ]
      Twin: hmmmmm.. when ur lonely u always fink of that white idiot
      Me: ................. LOL ur so right.
      Twin: Muahaha
      Me: Thats so great...what you just said
      Twin: I bet you're gonna quote that somewhere on of ur pages.. u have soo many... u probably have stalkers from china to Switzerland to Greece
    • LOL
  • My back is not in that much pain but im still really afraid of going to the gym and risk hurting it again. I really really miss combating.
  • My older (GCM) cousin got married the other weekend! Congratulations to her! 
    • She was the first "cousin" in the family that did a completely westernized wedding which also meant she did NOT invite ANY relatives to the wedding whatsoever. It was ONLY immediate family. 
      • That's so brave of her. Especially since our family is pretty traditional
      • And asians would know that asian (older) relatives would frown upon and consider it disrespectful.
      • Again i find that brave. I don't think i would be able to get away with it when my time comes.
    • Her wedding was really simple but pretty in its simplistic way.
      • I know for a FACT that T.I Group (yes, THE T.I Group that everybody wanted to work for in 4th year. My cousin is very successful and popular in the industry) printed everything for her wedding. I believe it was for free too, as a wedding gift.
        • I am SO jealous my gawd.
    • She had a LUNCHEON in a TENT for a wedding which i think again, is her going against the norm
      • I guess since she married a white guy, she might as well go completely against the grain and do everything against it. haha
    • AND AND. For a wedding cake......she had a CHEEEEEEEESE wedding "cake". I dont mean a Cheesecake Cake. I mean literally a CHEESE cake.
    • THAT IS SO ME!!!!!!!!!! LOL I LOVE. haha!!! The love for cheese really does run in the family doesn't it haha.
Okay that's it. MWDC meeting tomorrow!!! Going to be epic shit.
    haha trying.

    fffound

     i concentrated SO HARD and it still changed. uber craziness.

    fffound

    - An interesting read. Its a bit long though if you aren't interested in Philosophy/Argumentative Topics.

    An Atheist Professor of Philosophy was speaking to his Class on the problem Science has with God, the Almighty. He asked one of his new Christian students to stand.
    Professor: You are a Christian, aren't you, son?
    Student: Yes, sir.
    Professor: So, you believe in God?
    Student: Absolutely, sir.
    Professor: Is God good?
    Student: Sure.
    Professor: My brother died of cancer, even though he prayed to God to heal him. Most of us would attempt to help others who are ill. But God didn't. How is God good, then? Hmm?
    (Student was silent)
    Professor: You can't answer, can you? Let's start again, young fella. Is God good?
    Student: Yes.
    Professor: Is Satan good?
    Student: No.
    Professor: Where does Satan come from?
    Student: From.. God.
    Professor: That's right. Tell me son, is there evil in this world?
    Student: Yes.
    Professor: Evil is everywhere, isn't it? And God did make everything. Correct?
    Student: Yes.
    Professor: So who created evil?
    (Student didn't answer)
    Professor: Is there sickness? Immortality? Hatred? Ugliness? All these terrible things exist in the world, don't they?
    Student: Yes, sir.
    Professor: So, who created them?
    (Student had no answer)
    Professor: Science says you have 5 senses you use to identify and observe the world around you. Tell me, son.. have you ever seen God?
    Student: No, sir.
    Professor: Tell us if you have ever heard your God.
    Student: No, sir.
    Professor: Have you ever felt your God, tasted your God, smelt your God? Have you ever had any sensory perception of God, for that matter?
    Student: No, sir. I'm afraid I haven't.
    Professor: Yet you still believe in Him?
    Student: Yes.
    Professor: According to empirical, testable, demonstrable protocol, Science says your God doesn't exist. What do you say to that, son?
    Student: Nothing. I only have my Faith.
    Professor: Yes, Faith. And that is the problem Science has.
    Student: Professor, is there such a thing as Heat?
    Professor: Yes.
    Student: And is there such a thing as Cold?
    Professor: Yes.
    Student: No, sir, there isn't.
    (The Lecture Theatre became very quiet with this turn of events)
    Student: Sir, you can have lots of heat, even more heat, superheat, mega heat, white heat, a little heat or no heat. But we don't have anything called cold. We can hit 458 Degrees below Zero which is no heat, but we can't go any further after that. There is no such thing as cold. Cold is only a word we use to describe the absence of Heat. We cannot measure cold. Heat is energy. Cold is not the opposite of heat, sir, just the absence of it.
    (There was a pon-drop silence in the Lecture Theatre)
    Student: What about darkness, Professor? Is there such a thing as darkness?
    Professor: Yes. What is night if there isn't darkness?
    Student: You're wrong again, sir. Darkness is the absence of something. You can have Low Light, Normal Light, Bright Light, Flashing Light... But if you have No Light constantly, you have nothing and it's called Darkness, isn't it? In reality, darkness isn't. If it is, You would be able to make darkness darker, wouldn't you?
    Professor: So what is the point you are making, young man?
    Student: Sir, my point is, your Philosophical Premise is flawed.
    Professor: Flawed? Can you explain how?
    Student: Sir, you are working on the Premise of Duality. You argue there is Life and then there is Death, a good God and a bad God. You are viewing the concept of God as something finite, something we can measure. Sir, Science can't even explain a thought. It uses electricity and magnetism, but has never seen, much less fully understood either one. To view death as the opposite of life is to be ignorant of the fact that death cannot exist as a substantive thing. Death is not the opposite of life, just the absence of it. Now tell me, Professor, do you teach your students that they evolved from a monkey?
    Professor: If you are referring to the Natural Evolutionary Process, yes of course, I do.
    Student: Have you ever observed Evolution with your own eyes, sir?
    (The professor shook his head with a smile, beginning to realize where the argument was going)
    Student: Since no one has ever observed the Process of Evolution at work and cannot even prove that this process is an on-going endeavor, are you not teaching your opinion, sir? Are you not a Scientist but a Preacher?
    (The class was in uproar)
    Student: Is there anyone in the class who has ever seen the Professor's brain?
    (The class broke out into laughter)
    Student: Is there anyone here who has ever heard the Professor's brain, felt it, touched or smelt it? .. No one appears to have done so. So, according to the established Rules of Empirical, Stable and Demonstrable Protocol, Science says that you have no brain, sir. With all due respect, sir, how do we then trust your lectures?
    (The room was silent. The Professor stared at the student, his face unfathomable)
    Professor: I guess you'll have to take them on Faith, son.
    Student: That is it, sir.. exactly! The link between man and God is Faith. That is all that keeps things alive and moving!
    That student was Albert Einstein.

    Tuesday, September 28, 2010

    明天會更好


    Tonight feels like one of those night. Its 930. I'm sitting in my bed with my laptop and i feel like crap about life. Crap in a sense where my confidence level in everything is at rock bottom and i feel absolutely shitty.

    It could be because my back injury and the lack of gymming made me feel less productive, or the fact that my brother made me feel like a moron while i drove tonight. Or perhaps its the cold weather and the lack of being busy. Combination of everything?

    Its nights like these where its always nice to have someone to tell you that maybe you just don't suck and tomorrow is a better day.

    I am hoping tomorrow will be a better day.

    Monday, September 27, 2010

    Project 30 Day: Day 25, 26 & 27

    Day 25 - A Picture that you edited

     
    Original Picture

     
    Edited Picture for Lil's Birthday card last year

    Day 26 - A Picture that makes you angry

    To this day, this still gets my blood boiling. During World Cup 2010, when Pedro (guy with the ball) the ball hog did not pass to my hunk (that was open aka #9) and instead fucked himself in the ass and lost the ball during the Spain vs. Germany game. I still ridicule and criticize Pedro during every game he plays because of this. Asshole.

    Day 27 - A Picture of you more than 10 years ago


    HAHAH god what a fat nerd. I totally understand now why none of my crushes digged me 10 years ago pwahhah looking at that makes ME laugh let alone guys. I can't believe my mom would let me out of the house looking like that. This was me in grade 9. If i looked like that right now in grade 9 i think i would be the target of all bullies and mean girls & probably be on the verge of suicide. Kids are so mean nowadays.

    ###

    Project 30 Day Intro: Read

    Sunday, September 26, 2010

    Trying to be

    Such a hot tattoo. Simple but to the point.

    fffound & wallstreet 2


    An alarm clock that won't turn off until you stand on it.

    Talk about being innovative.

    Speaking of which i should sleep.

    But before i do. Quick review.

    Watched Wallstreet 2 tonight with C. It was quite an interesting movie. I can't say i loved it because to be honest I was a bit confused in terms of exactly what was going on with all the stocks trading and how the stock market worked etc. But i didn't hate it either that's for sure. I think i would have enjoyed it a lot more if i was into stocks and all that exciting stuff that makes investors/traders jizz their pants. I even watched the first Wallstreet movie (the 1987 one!!!!!!!!!!) to prep for this lol One thing i did enjoy very much was:
    • Shia LaBeouf
    • Shia LaBeouf and his on-screen chemistry with Carey Mulligan
      • He was so sweeeeet in the movie. Id bet he's like that off screen too!!!
    • Shia LaBeouf's condo
      • If anybody has/will watch it, god the interior is so awesome. It looks like the type of place i would have.
    • Shia LaBeouf in a suit
    • Shia LaBeouf in average-day wear 
      • Cardigan and sneakers.....but he somehow made it hot average-day wear. That purple cardigan-that-would-have-looked-so-homo-on-most-guys he wore at the end was so unbelievably hot. Over a LILAC colored button up. It sounds so homo but he looked greatttttttttttttt. Tony the Tiger style.
    Mike Douglas was pretty cool too. haha He will always be sleazy Gordon Gekko. haha But Shia LaBeouf was my star tonight.


    Mmmmmm yeah. Definitely pulled off the WallStreet look magnificently.


    I actually do not like motorcycles very much. I think they are reckless and the riders asking for a wild and quick death. Until tonight. HAAAA. My opinion TOTALLY changed after watching this movie. It was SOO uber sexy seeing Shia LaBeouf ride in his wallstreet gett-up underneath his leather jacket, expensive leather messenger bag on the side and girlfriend sitting behind him zooming through the busy streets of NYC. UGH. Hotness. I mean, i GUESSSS i wasssss a tad bit SILLY thinking something so sexy can be so reckless right?


    They're also a super cute couple off screen!!! They seem so down-to-earth. Sighs. Sweetness galore.

    OKAY. I'm done with my Wallstreet 2 movie-review-that-turned-into-a-Shia-LaBeouf-you-are-hot rant. IM OUTS.

    Friday, September 24, 2010

    FINALLY

    Yes people. I did it. I FINALLY got my G2 today!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I think it seriously must've been everybody's prayers because i really SHOULD have failed.....but didnt. So praise the mighty lord for that. I even wore my Torres jersey for good luck. hahah i know im so lame.

    And since i actually passed it, i might as well share.

    But i actually woke up with a hangover today haha Everything was SPINNING. I felt like i sat on a merry-go-round far too many times.

    sighs. haha

    lol Went for bottle service last night (on a thursday night) with E&J et co. and obviously drank up a storm even though i said i wouldnt. It was quite fun but very VERY poor judgment on my behalf to go out so late and i REALLY could have failed because of the lack of "focus" and energy. Hence why i didnt tell anybody until i actually passed the test because if i did fail this would have went to the grave with me. lol

    REGARDLESS. I passed.

    FINALLY.

    Project 30 Day: Day 22, 23 & 24

    Day 22- A Picture of Yourself


    So so unflattering but i was in a rush that day

    Day 23- A picture that describes your life


    Lots of thinking and pondering

    Day 24- A picture of what you did today


    Went for my G2 test


    ###

    Project 30 Day Intro: Read


    fffound

    Went exploring the Annex area the other day on my own and found a small art book shop and discovered these illustrations that were on sale. Unfortunately they were 28 dollars a piece (35 dollars with the frame) which is a bit steep for me currently but if i was working i would buy at least two in a heartbeat. The following were the two i really wanted.



    The illustrator's name is Kei Acedera. Her and Bobby Chiu both have this graphic novel published and though i want....its 20 bucks a book and again, a bit steep for a thin paper back. haha

    isn't it so cute! my art friends would appreciate this.

    Thursday, September 23, 2010

    Reminiscing the Past

    This post has a lot of reference to a lot of past relationships so for those who has followed me/known me for a long time will DEFINITELY get a kick out of reading this. 


    A couple posts back, i shared a quote- They say everything happens for a reason, but what they don't tell you is that you may never know what that reason is.

    I kind of take that back because i actually do believe that things do happen for a reason, it would be revealed in the future through actions. Things happen for the better.

    The other day i went out and chilled with S, something i haven't done in a very, very long time. Most people don't understand how I can stay friends with an ex. It was a bit more complicated with him (because of his unfaithfulness that was the downfall of our relationship) which raises many eyebrows to why we are still able to remain great friends. No idea but we are. I can honestly say he is still one of the few people that knows me best even though we do not talk all that much. Things are not awkward nor are they weird. I talk about my relationship issues openly, he not so much (haha) but that's understandable.I find him to be a better friend than a boyfriend/partner. So that day we ended up going clothes shopping because he asked for a little help in that area. He doesn't know this but i have always wanted to go clothes shopping with him since/while we were dating but we never got a chance to until the other day. It was quite fun (for i do love shopping very much) because he didn't really have a budget so I was able to kind of play dress-up with him. I hope his girlfriend likes the shit i picked out haha. Awkward......

    ANYHOOOOO

    Its weird how things work out because the things i have ALWAYS wanted to do with someone while we were "together" as a couple always happens AFTER when we are only friends. I think its pretty ironic that it works out that way. When it does happen i only smile and think "Hey, life isnt all that bad after all. THIS eventually did happen. Better late than never." At least i could make peace with that inner "what if" question. The reasons are ALWAYS revealed in one form or another.

    I mean its not just this one incident but a few times before too.

    A good example of another time was when i was able to spend Vday with 6453 AFTER i made peace with "us" not being able to be together. It was seriously like a dream come true but the feelings i had were very different. It was very bittersweet but peaceful at the same time. I dont talk to 6453 anymore but during the period that i did, i also did find him to be a better "friend" (that i can never have haha) than what we had when we were checking. He was bad for me. An addicting drug is how I like to describe it now. People knew that, saw it. He definitely is better to be left in the past.

    When those things happen, it makes me rethink the occurrence of certain events and as hard as they were, im glad that it happened for the better future.If all those did not happen, i would never have become the person i am today. I would probably be less bitter. haha but definitely not the person l'll be right now.

    I guess the purpose of me blogging about this, is a validation to myself that when things happen for a reason, though it may be painful, tough and confusing- that reason WILL eventually be clear.

    I don't expect people to understand.

    MOVING ON.


    BIG DAY TMR. ITS DO OR DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Please. PLEASE. prayyyyy and send your messages/txts/pins/emails of love/prayers/gLucks lollllll

    Updating

    I promise there will be something to read before i sleep tonight folks. MY BADDDD lol

    Wednesday, September 22, 2010

    sobs.

    Blair: Changing your name doesn’t change who you are.
    Chuck: It’s a good start. A chance to live simply, earn people’s respect, maybe become a person someone could love.
    Blair: Someone did love you. And… you owe it to her, and everyone else you’re leaving behind not to run away. Which is what you’re doing. And I don’t think that great man you’re talking about wanting to be is a coward. I think he would face up to what he did.
    Chuck: I destroyed the only thing I ever loved.
    Blair: [takes a deep breath] I don’t love you anymore. But it takes more than even you to destroy Blair Waldorf.
    Chuck: Your world would be easier if I didn’t come back.
    Blair: That’s true. But it wouldn’t be my world without you in it.
    TRIPLE SOBS. My heart died when i watched this part.
    This is what the Blair/Chuck story can do to you. It can DESTROY YOUR HEART.

    Oh and adding to that, the song that was playing during this dialogue made the mood:  I’m In Here (Piano/Vocal version) - Sia

    Project 30 Day: Day 18, 19, 20 & 21

    Day 18 - A Picture of your Room


    A section of my room since ive loaded lots of pictures of my room before. Excuse the duttyness.

    Day 19 - A Picture of your favorite musical instrument(s)




    Since grade 5 i have adored String Instruments and in particular the violin. I played the Viola from grade 5-8 and a big part of me really wished i continued with the instrument because not many people started out with a strings instrument when they were young (most asians were stuck with the clarinet or flute....which i sucked at) and it made me feel really special being able to play it. (fyi: the viola is the bigger version of the violin. they gave it to the big girls to play because big girls holding a tiny violin just looked strange and awkward). I can listen to a strings symphony for hours and not be bored.

    My second favorite instrument (if not first) would have to be the piano. Unlike the majority of asians, i never was allowed to take piano lessons (though i wanted to). My parents simply felt like it was a waste of money and never let me pursue it. I do love anything piano-played. I think its the most romantic thing in the world. I want my future husband to be able to play a snippet of a song for me. (cough. hint to friends to bring up to the uknown future mister groom. id like the song PRAYER, from the Autumn in my Heart (korean drama) OST to be played to me at the wedding reception as a wedding gift. i dont care if he doesnt know how to play the piano. he just needs to memorize the first 1:41 minutes please and thanks. haha). Yes i heart.

    Day 20 - A Picture of where you want to honeymoon



    Trevi Fountain (Fontana di Trevi), Rome Italy
    I sincerely believe magic can happen here.

    Day 21 - A Picture that makes you think of your loved one



    Ohana means family <3

    ###


    Project 30 Day Intro: Read


    ###

    IM SORRY FOR BEING LAZYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

    Tuesday, September 21, 2010

    dreammoods.com

    Dreams
    To dream that you are dreaming, signifies your emotional state. You are excessively worried and fearful about a situation or circumstance that you are going through.
    I dreamt that i dreamt of my usual perfect dream...but woke up feeling devastated because i knew it was a dream and dreams don't come true (the opposite happens in fact- my philosophy) but does that mean that it will come true because i dreamt it won't come true or is it a double whammy and it means it definitely WON'T come true.

    Fuck.

    Inception much?

    Monday, September 20, 2010

    Ideal World

    fffound.

    In the most ideal world starting in October through to March:

    I would
    • still be doing my freelance work for Albie
    • be working 2-3 times a week dt 
    • use the remaining time and have a part-time Art internship
    • continue with my beast mode/working out regime providing my "injuries" don't get too serious.
      • i realize i have REALLY weak ankles. no wonder i can't balance myself. 
        • no its not because i have small feet as someone has suggested before.
    • be driving regularly because i passed my g2 in September.
    • be doing great.
    Yes that would be the MOST ideal scenario for me.

    Wish me good luck in achieving those (especially point #3).

    Sunday, September 19, 2010

    fffound & Fashion Inspiration


    holy fuknuts. Sexy much? I effing want that jacket

    I also think i found my inspiration for Autumn/Winter. Inspiration to dress and be that effing thin to be ABLE to dress that way. Chunky girls like myself can't pull look #2 off. Not suggesting I can afford buying anything from Aritzia of course. There's not enough jobs I can take on to make that much money and afford that type of wardrobe.

    Its that time of the year again.....


    MOONCAKE FESTIVAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
    (The actual term is 中秋節 or Mid-Autumn Festival..i just choose to call it 月餅節 lol)
    And you guys should know i am able to eat a WHOLE MOONCAKE on my own.................per day. hahah

    FYI- Recommended serving is 1/4 of a mooncake per day

    LOL. Yeah. I too, find myself a little disgusting too. It's major irrationality (if there's such a word) lol.

    Lazy Sunday again!
    • I did another one of those 5 hours of sleep thing again last night. 
    • Woke up incredibly early to drive for a bit
    • Watched Two football games 
      • ManU vs. Liverpool
        I actually missed about 75% of the game and i wish i hadn't because my hunk was starting but i did not realize that the game started at 830 and i was already out. Nonetheless Gerrard was flying and did amazing for pool!
      • Atlantico Madrid vs Barcelona
        Team La Roja = <3 && Pique = my friendly giant!!!
    • Watched a movie ( 放逐 or Exiled)
      • Suddenly i have an obsession with Francis Ng 吳鎮宇. I am extremely attracted to the 50 year old and i want to download all his pyscho-tastic movies to watch!!!
    • All while writing a cover letter.
    i think exhaustion has finally hit me.
    Nap time. Lets hope its not 3 hours................again.


    Oh and COMPLETELY random. I kind of want to get this:


    What? A Vintage Aristocrat typewriter
    (From) Who? Some person on craigslist
    Why? Because its pretty and would look amazing displayed....somewhere...in my unknown distant future
    When? Well. I don't NEED it at all at the moment. Its just an amazing deal ($20 dollars btw) for the piece and i dont think l'll ever be able to find it again (same look and price) for that deal. The others one listed are ugly and even more expensive.

    Okay so this is probably so vain of me but- can someone get it for me PLEASEEEE and consider it an early birthday present. Its cheap, its easy. Its exactly 20 so technically it costs about $17.40 BEFORE tax and AFTER TAX, again it comes to $20. LISTING IS HERE.

    OKAY THANKS BYE LOVE THE PERSON FOREVER AND EVER IF ANYBODY DOES GET IT. =]]]]]

    Saturday, September 18, 2010

    Lazy Saturday Randomness

    I am always in the bargaining stage. hahaha
    • Plans got canceled.
    • I kinda pulled/strained some muscle around the shoulder neck area during combat this bright early morning. 
    • i had a huge fml moment with the hot neighbor earlier and i dont really want to leave the house in fear l'll bump into him.
    • My parents literally, savagely finished my lunch with no mercy so now i have no lunch and left eating those salty dried plums Chinese people call "Hui Mui's" or something like that? Iono. Preggo ladies chew that.
      • I am not hinting anything
      • Even though i did buy 12 dollars worth in bulk. 
      • IMAGE REFERENCE
    •  Maybe l'll catch up with my blogging/drama-ing/cover letter writing.
      • Or practice driving with the van. 
      • Or just nap. I diddddd sleep at almost 4am last night and woke at 9am.
    I think im just gonna spend all day on tumblr. (Thinking of starting a new one)

    One Day


     If i can't have this in my house one day



    I expect to at least have this.

    I would say i would have to had a pretty dreadful, incomplete life if i can't even have something as simple as that.

    Someone please remind me if that does happen.

    Peanut Butter Jelly Time

    OMG IM DONE THE EFFING MAP.

    My weekend can begin.

    After.....i finish watching this new chinese drama episode.

    MMMMMM 張智霖. The guy does NOT look a day 39. Mannnn. TAP TAP TAPPP.

    I should sleep though, instead of watching dramas.

    Peanut Butter and Jelly Hamburger tomorrow!!!! Happy Weekend!

    Friday, September 17, 2010

    Project 30 Day: Day 17

    Day 17 - A Picture of your mp3 player
    Notice the top. LOL it doesnt lock anymore.

    Project 30 Day Intro: Read

    Thursday, September 16, 2010

    Project 30 Day: Day 14, 15 & 16

    Day 14 - A Picture of your Favorite teacher(s)
     
    Mrs.Robson, Grade 1.
    Forgave me for ditching folk dancing practice. Even though i was only six and made up (what i thought at the time) was the sickest excuse.


    Day 15 - A Picture of your Dream CellPhone
     
    At the moment. The White Bold!!!!


    Day 16 - A Picture of Yourself
     
    I don't look as awesome after i've been out in the pouring rain.

    ###

    Project 30 Day Intro: Read

    ###
    I am so sorry about the lack of updates on this project. But its pretty crazy how when you begin counting days, the days go by so so much quicker and that said i dont have the time to do a photo update evry day. Just like that though....we are two weeks into September. Pretty soon the first official day of Fall will be here and that's when its REALLY time to put away the sandals. Sad face.

    Anyways its time to be in busy mode again. Lots of things coming up. I plan to work/take on so much i won't have time to sleep. I think its time for me to be in bitter mode and exhaust every part of my body (including the mind) to a point where im just numb (again). That sounds like a good idea right now instead of dreaming perfect dreams every night and waking up feeling like shietttttttttttt. I liked it lots when i was numb and did not give a shit about anything.

    Oh i am still stressed about "that" issue. i am such a terrible person.

    And i need to start starving myself again (AFTER tonight's hot pot date with the Cousin and K). Apparently im "fat" again according to the brother and the mother. It is very discouraging hearing that when you do hit the gym 5 days a week.

    Good day on this blasted rainy day.

    fffound

    I'm going crazy with this Design-related posting thing.


    I came across this project in a blogroll and i think it is like the coolest thing in the world. Its pretty much a large exhibition of people's sketchbook that they send in once they fill it up. Its so unfortunate that this is only a States-restricted project but I would loveee to go to the show in February 2011 in NYC so if any of my design friends are interested in going please let me know and perhaps we can plan something. If not i guessss i can always wait for it to be permanently displayed at the Brooklyn Art Library once the tour is completed. I do want to visit the NY Public Library too. Art/Design purposes. 

    More info here

    Colorstrology

    More goodies for the design friends and gcm fam.

    Colorstrology connects your birthday w/ a pantone color.

    Looks like i am Raspberry Wine! Haha give it to a predetermined astrological report that i end up with a color name that has to do with some sort of alcohol.

    LINK | Here

    fffound

    For all my Graphic Design/GCM/Font-Crazy nomad friends


    LINK | here DOWNLOAD | here
    Why settle for casual flirtation when looking for a long-lasting relationship? Finding the perfect match is easy if you know the rules. Meet Your Type will help you overcome common obstacles, and keep your heart thumping for your one true love: typography.
    Bloody Brilliant.

    Wednesday, September 15, 2010

    我太高估我自己

    我覺得我退jor10步.
    原來我是gum容易忘記到. Fannntastic...!

    Refocus. I need to go jab something. Big time.

    Tuesday, September 14, 2010

    Dreams

    don't dwell on the most perfect dream you dream of.
    it only hurts knowing they will never come true.

    Capital Punishment- Bitch Rant

    Some of you might have noticed i went explosive on my FB and Twitter updates with my angry status updates this morning. Story of my life:

    Someone really hates me and decided to cut my house's CABLE, HOME PHONE & INTERNET (GAH) lines. Well i dont know was it deliberate but wtf man. What are the effing chances of that?!?!!! Either that or its god's way of punishing me for something i did. Maybe i should swear less, spend less and be less of a bitch.

    Result of that?

    My journey to Starbucks for their internet at 530am in the morning.
    • Which meant waking up at 5am. I went to sleep at 1am. Half an hour prior to that i came home to discover the lack of communication to the technological world.
      • I am quite impressed with the fact though, that my brother took the initiative to call Rogers to schedule for a rescue team to come save our internet. It only shows that he CAN do stuff without me holding his hand.  
      • He however wasnt able to get a credit though. i was. teehee.
    • The reason why i need the internet so DESPERATELY is because i owe freelance work and it was suppose to be sent in since last night at midnight. 
    • Buying two timmies breakfast wrap to keep me awake. 
      • The sausage one is quite good. I perfer this over their english muffins/biscuit sandwiches because its a brown pita wrap and its a lot less fatty. Even though i do need two to make me full.
    • Showing up at 545.....15 minutes before they open. It was a big bitch to stand outside in the cold and dark but this is what i call dedication.
      • Clearly i had no concept of how fast the ttc ran in the morning. 
        • They run very fast.
    • Ordering a Tall Bold for the FIRST TIME EVER in all my times buying from Starbucks. I have NEVER, EVER BOUGHT a PLAIN coffee from them. 
      • I'm already on my second refill, an hour later. 
        • Going for three. Its kind of disgusting thinking about it.
    • Dealing with a rude barista. 
      • Okay, i know how hard it is to open in the mornings (HENCE why i named this entry CAPITAL PUNISHMENT). The prior mister opens and before he would bitch and moan about it to me so i effing know. The people who was on the bus with me looked miserable and tired. The sky is dark, its cold outside. I GET IT. But hey. You're working at Starbucks- a coffee shop that is famous for their customer service, i expect you to fucking greet me and serve me like you have sunshine beaming outta your ass. Fine. Not even at 6am. But i at least expect you to NOT BE A BITCH when i tipped you guys 2 bucks for a 2 dollar coffee because i wanted to reward you guys for being TROOPERS. I should have taken my fucking toonie back and not even left you a dirty penny. If you can't handle it, DON'T WORK AT SB. Don't give me your bitch face. I don't want to see it nor am i in any mood for that.
    •  Completing/doing work in general at 6am in the morning.
      • I have not done that since GCM instrumentations/project due days
    I'm done my work but what am i still doing here? Abusing their internet since i am awake and high on coffee. I am downloading enough shit to last me a day at home without internet in event the Rogers people cannot fix it within the day. 

    Argh and i also think i strained a thigh muscle or something. Its freaking killing me.

    Raw raw raw. Major bitch mode when lack of sleep.

    Monday, September 13, 2010

    If Only

    ive ranted about this before. 

    Sometimes my mom goes on these verbal rampages where she would pretty much count everything that is wrong with me or retell every single unsuccessful relationship ive had and why they were all my fault.

    Almost all the time, she said its due to the fact that i am "stubborn" and "too independent" to a point where i refuse to let the guy take care of me.

    Ha.

    If only she knew the truth.

    I'm sorry mom, i am not going to change myself to become one of those girls that goes into meaningless relationships, STAYS in meaningless relationships because they're too afraid to be alone. Nor do i want to be a freeloader or anything remotely like that. I will not start acting "conservative", stop being blunt, or will i stop being outgoing. Even if it means being alone.  

    Meanwhile i can only hold back those tears as she goes on about why i can never find someone who will love me because guys just don't want to marry girls like me.

    Very heart breaking actually, knowing your mom pitys you too.

    dreammoods.com

    Snippet of my dream:  
    On my way to the Supermarket to shop for Cheese and Salmon i was attacked by snowballs outside the grocery store. Then i pushed my cart down into the diary section to discover the type of cheese i need was not there.

    Attack
    To dream that you are being attacked by someone, indicates your character is being questioned. You feel the need to defend yourself. You are feeling stressed, vulnerable and helpless. You may also be facing with difficult changes in your waking life. Dreaming of an attack provides a way for you to confront these situations that you may be avoiding in real life.
    Groceries
    To shop for groceries in your dream, represents some emotional or physical need that you are currently lacking in your life. You may be in need of nurturance and some fulfillment. Consider the specific items that you are shopping for.

    Shopping Cart
    To see or use a shopping cart in your dream, indicates that you are reaping the rewards and benefits of your hard work. Alternatively, to push a shopping cart in your dream, suggests that you need to search out more options for some aspect of your life. Remember that you have choices and you do not need to settle. If the shopping cart is empty, then it suggests that you are coming up empty in some endeavor or plan.

    Cheese
    To see cheese in your dream, symbolizes gains and profits. Alternatively, the dream may be a metaphor for something that is "cheesy" or lame. Or it could be saying that you need to smile more.

    Dairy
    To dream that you are in a dairy, is a good omen. Much fortune will come your way and you will never be without the basic necessities in life.

    Dreams strike again.

    Sunday, September 12, 2010

    Weekend of GCM

    This weekend was epic and literally every single moment was spent with a GCM-er.

    All i did this weekend was eat, drink starbucks, eat more, drink more starbucks, gotten extremely tipsy and eat again.

    Extreme gymming time is needed. 

    I am so exhausted i think im gonna go sleep in half an hour and blog about this when i wake up tomorrow morning.

    Project 30 Day: Day 12

    Day 12 - A Picture of your favorite food
     
    What else would it be? haha. Poutineeeee <3

    Project 30 Day Intro: Read

    Saturday, September 11, 2010

    Project 30 Day: Day 11

    Day 10 - A Picture of your Favorite Drink
    Too obvious.

    Project 30 Day Intro: Read

    Friday, September 10, 2010

    Project 30 Day: Day 10

    Day 10 - A Picture of What you like to do
    I don't do it nearly enough anymore but reading is something i truly enjoy doing.

    Project 30 Day Intro: Read

    Thursday, September 9, 2010

    Project 30 Day: Day 9


    Day 09 - A Picture of What you had for Lunch
    A boring and sad TIM HORTONS Rasin Bagel with Butter paired with an exciting Short, Non-Fat, Extra Sweet, No Foam, No Whip, Upside Down Caramel Macchiato
    It was kinda embarrassing eating a TIMMIES bagel at SB. But i got over it.
    Project 30 Day Intro: Read

    TV MANIA IS BACK BIATCHES

    Vampire diaries TONIGHT. 


    I AM SOOOOO READY FOR YOU DAMON. LINE  UP BITCHES. I GOT FIRST DIBS.

    Then the month begins for:
    • Gossip Girl
      • Lonely without Chuck on my Tuesday mornings
    • Law and Order: SVU 
      • 12 Years and i am STILL faithful and have watched every single episode.
    • Criminal Minds
    • House
    • A TVB Drama 
      • Apparently there's a very good one coming out in Oct/November
    Added to the list
    • Bachelor pad
      • LOL it is such a skanky and dramaful show. I love it. Didn't think i would like it haha.
    • Project Runway
    • Amazing Race
      • Cuz of Kevjumba!!!!!!!!!! WOOOT. TEAM JUMBA LOL
      • LINK: VID: HERE

    Lots and lots of downloadingggg hehehe 

    ###

    RANDOM: Watch: Brutal: LOL: Here

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