If Only

ive ranted about this before. 

Sometimes my mom goes on these verbal rampages where she would pretty much count everything that is wrong with me or retell every single unsuccessful relationship ive had and why they were all my fault.

Almost all the time, she said its due to the fact that i am "stubborn" and "too independent" to a point where i refuse to let the guy take care of me.

Ha.

If only she knew the truth.

I'm sorry mom, i am not going to change myself to become one of those girls that goes into meaningless relationships, STAYS in meaningless relationships because they're too afraid to be alone. Nor do i want to be a freeloader or anything remotely like that. I will not start acting "conservative", stop being blunt, or will i stop being outgoing. Even if it means being alone.  

Meanwhile i can only hold back those tears as she goes on about why i can never find someone who will love me because guys just don't want to marry girls like me.

Very heart breaking actually, knowing your mom pitys you too.