The most important thing I realized is that painful breakups, unrequited love, shitty jobs and the like help us to BUILD CHARACTER and that no matter how bad it feels, we are much better off because of it. Sometimes you have to stand alone to make sure you can. Forget what you want to remember what you deserve.You may not end up where you thought you'd be, but you'll always end up where you were meant to be. You can either let these bad things, define you, destroy you or strengthen you. Fight through it like a warrior. Greater things are to come.

Saturday, December 25, 2010

My Gift to you all- Merry Christmas

Oh its been a while boys and girls. A while since ive actually really sat down and really wanted to "blog". There has been so many blog-worthy topics and moments over the past weeks but my laziness has gotten the better of me and since this Wednesday, the cold-bug has gotten the best of me. I still feel like poo but thank god for this thing called Tylenol Sinus and Cold, i am able to function.

Today is Christmas Eve as we all know. I officially started typing this around 10pm. I hope by midnight i would have this completed with something juicy and entertaining for you to read as a Christmas gift from me to you. Please do forgive me for the terrible grammer and lack of cohesion because i am still pretty drugged & stuffed up.

Lets back-track shall we?

I promised people a MIAMI post. HAHA oh dear i am so sorry. But i find it kind of pointless to blog the details of the trip when those i actually care about and DO talk to- already know the details of it and i dont want to be redundant. That said though l'm still going to talk about it briefly in an overview sense rather than- what we did on what day and what we ate on what time.

As everyone know, i went to South Beach Miami with one of my best girls C, as a mini getaway for an extended long weekend. We stayed at a beautiful hotel that was literally minutes away from the ocean and another few minutes away from this popular shopping/entertainment/restaurant strip call Lincoln Shopping Strip. Both of us has gone through what we felt like life has done us wrong again (relationship and career-wise). For many evenings prior to our trip it was literally like deja vu where she would be smoking outside on my driveway and we both would just pour our hearts out to each other - just like almost 6 years ago. Where life again played us as fools. Anyways being doomed together, we thought "Hey why not take our doom-ness to somewhere HAWT". Hence the idea was form and we were on a plane to Florida! It was ironic (but not shocking) that we felt many of the same emotions as we left Toronto together on a plane and many scenic things reminded us of certain things. Our trip consisted of us exploring, eating, drinking, shopping, tanning, partying, counting how many pairs of homosexual men that we saw in the remaining duration of our trip.

FYI Kids- South Beach is not a place to get laid. Unless your a guy.

Seriously! Nothing against gays but there was WAY too many that it was a BIT overwhelming. Perhaps it was an underground festival that we did not know about? WHO KNOWS. Maybe boys should tell me that would you ever go shopping/strolling with your bff down a popular tourist strip? I really want to know. Over 80 "suspected" homosexual couples counted within one meal is A LOT if you ask me. 

Another observation- the men that parties there are GENTLEMEN.

They are far from the usual douchey, pushy, obnoxious BOYS in Toronto. I was fairly impressed by the two groups of men that asked us to join their party at this club call Mansion (highly recommended if you are into Hiphop, top40 and oldschool the end of the night. obvs.) and their mannerism. Sure they aren't lookers and were a bit older than we were but their politeness was what won me over! Thank you Montreal Guy from Room 1 and Black Guy from Room 2! lol

The trip was far, far too short. The weather was amazing. Being able to dine outside in a maxi dress in the middle of December is really something. One thing i did during the trip though was really thought things over. I can go on hating life and fate but i can also take it as a lesson or just another punch thrown at me and stand right back up. I completely admit when we were flying back i felt incrediably sad. I looked out and it was gloomy like that very day, around the same time too and i recalled how happy i was because after a great vacation i was coming home to something. Not this time- i was coming home to nothing ("metaphorically", not "literally") and it was a sharp stab. That said i completely snapped out of it because there's absolutely nothing to be sad about (except from maybe my Job and Weight issue haha). I understand now.

 ive come to understand that there is no suffering if you do neither.
why would anyone want to forget the good times and let time dance by you as you do that? That to me is suppressing, not accepting. It's one choice to choose to suffer. It's also one's choice to put an end to it.

For those interested: I don't feel remotely awkwardness blogging about how i feel even though I know that he comes by here sometimes to read up on what random stuff i have to share. I consider this a growing process and what Junior calls- a mature confession. I'm not asking for ANYONE to hold my hand or AW at me when i talk about this. Blogging has always been my outlet and i do feel much better each time i type it all out. I also think this is why after so many years, people still come by and read my blog. Its because i'm real and i blog about what's real. I don't hide what i feel, if i slip - i admit that i slip. if im on the floor sobbing, i will admit it too. I can go on forever on this topic but l'll leave it here because theres soooooo much more i want to blog about lol


During the trip I confessed many things to her and i feel like we understand each other a lot more. One thing is for sure though- i now stand by even more and have faith that one day things will work out for you C. You are strong, a fighter and again this is just one of those blowouts that will turn into an eventual win for you. A win that will be for life. Greater things have yet to come for you. Love you lots!

Totally random kids, but for my girl readers.
You guys know that i'm not big on purses and bags right? I'm all about vintage purses and hobo bags. But after seeing these two pictures.

Wow. Pure class. 

I totally want a chanel bag now. Especially the BLUE one. Holymoly. I wonder if its real? Can anyone confirm for me? Anyhoo that's just a thought.

Let's see what else is up. Oh yes- the other day i went engagement ring shopping with someone (for the nature and secrecy of the proposal....i cannot disclose how close i am to this person because it would be busted if the girlfriend EVER comes by my blog) and it was SO educational. Who knew diamonds can be SO complex? Okay bad question, it is complex. Its not like buying romaine lettuce (okay maybe it is. LOL INSIDE JK ONLY jay siu & K understands).....where u can just CHOOSE something. So here i was walking around claiming to be his xxxxxx (again, cannot reveal the nature. might compromise the secrecy) and im asked to try on the rings for him. Man, i hate engagement rings. For someone like me that is so into weddings i absolutely HATE them. I feel like they are unnecessary and as ive expressed my opinion many times before, i think my future husband should just effing skip the engagement ring and buy me a really beautiful diamond crested thick thick wedding band. Then spend the duration of the money on photography. hahaha just saying. We made our rounds around Yorkdale and it was SO brutal and draining. All that sparkle totally blinded me. I was glad to finally had my delicious Caesar, YARD of beer (fuckery i think i have a small liking for beer now) and Poutineeeeee at Honest Lawyers with xxxxx (no need to explain right?) joining us shortly. Overall it was a great day - im whole-heartedly honoured to be the one you chose to ask to go ring shopping. I really can't wait for the wedding. I think it would be very heart-wrenching.

But wow. It is almost midnight, this entry really did almost take two hours to write. Back to present day being Christmas Eve. I really thought today was going to be depressing. This year (aside from being brutally sick for the past couple of days!!!! omgosh) i opted out to go to ANY family outtings. To those that talk to me on a regular basis would know why so i don't want to repeat. That said things were done traditionally....for a very long time. Suddenly i have no idea what to do since the tradition is no longer in place. That said i am forever grateful for my day today. I was actually.....not sad. lol I've actually been...pretty happy lately. Thank you.

So here I am now, all snugged up in my germ-infested bed, my Forever Nuts (nom nom nom) tea with a gigantic dash of honey and a pill im ready to take to knock myself out - but not before i make my rounds of Merry Christmas via text/bbm/fb.

One thing i must say though before i end this- holy shit i AM giving a fuck. Taking it one day at a time.

No such thing as getting burned again yo. Not for me....

WoooOOO dont you guys love open-ended, metaphorical ramblings from me?!??

Tis officially 12:00am people.

Merry Christmas everyone!!!!!!!!!

Stay beautiful. Thanks for staying with me. Hope you all enjoyed the glamorous, belated post! Expected a similiarly long/longer post to close the New Years (ive even started writing a bit of it!).

Be excited!!!!

My drugs are next to me. After seeing C its K/O for me!



karlantonette said...

yes that royal blue chanel lambskin flap is real!
they have tons of colours.... but ultimately the black flap is THE classic :) i want one as well siiiigh.

i learned a lot about chanel flaps at check it out some time :)

tweeet tweeet