Chapter Closed

As i blog this, i am uploading the last of what needs to be completed for the rat. Then i am going to place everything on my external hard drive in a far dark folder somewhere that i won't ever have to see again. Put all existing file folders pertaining to this job away in my closet. I'm just waiting on my ROE and my 2nd paycheque && that will be the end of my first post-graduate job, a chapter close. A new one to begin.

It's interesting how i was kind of like one of the first one to get a graduate job yet i'm the first one to calls it quits and am back to zero.

On the subject on back to zero.

As many of you may have guessed/noticed. The mister and i are in fact no longer together. It still hurts as I type that but it only makes it the more true. I contemplated whether I should blog about this but knowing me I have to get it out somehow. He knows very well how i feel about us. But we both are at a point in our lives where it would be best for us to concentrate on what we need to do. Its actually quite complex and way too long to explain. Also, i choose to not explain it because its really none of anybody's business but ours. There are simply some things that others would never understand because nobody understands him as much as i do and me explaining it would just sound lame and stupid. I don't expect anyone to understand what happened and to me all it matters is we both have a mutual understanding of why we have come to this point.

There has never been a break up where I have bounced back this quickly. It's not because i love him less than anyone else. On contrary its because i love him the most and I know that it would upset him very much if he knew I was not doing anything worthwhile. Him, better than anyone else understands how precious time is and I know if he knew I was wasting it, it would be a waste of his efforts and his intentions. I only hope that as I continue to live my life that he will always remember that he's given me so many amazing memories to live on with and that i will always be his best friend- the one that understands the most and the one that will always be there to listen and be there to support him.

I am a firm believer in what is yours, will always come back to you when the time is right. There's no telling what will happen in the future. I leave this on that note.

I know that A LOT of people (particularly GCM-ers) have kind of turned a blind eye or remained quiet in regards to this matter. I thank you all for respecting us and I appreciate it lots. I'm sure so does he. Please don't act...weird around us when we do come out for events. Just because we're not together doesn't mean we aren't the goofy people we use to be. Another comment I want to sneak in here is a word of advice for people- to appreciate and value what they currently have. Nothing is ever certain. In a blink of an eye, that hand that you always thought would be there to hold you and help you can disappear just like that. Its really unbelievable.

The pain never actually goes away. Little things still upsets me but it all has just become numb. But i'm okay. At the moment anyways.

That's that. Thought i would get that off my chest in one go. I might even have disclosed a little too much but hey...that's me and my blogging tendencies.

It's just unfortunate that it took all this for me to close this "Rat" chapter of my life.

And here i was thinking the next few chapters of my life would be less emotional lol
i just NEVER get a damn break now do i?