Iron Man 2: The First Reality Check

I went to watch this movie with two of my most favorite guys in the world today and no doubt were they able to keep my mind off of things for a couple of hours. I thought it would have been very, very emotional for me but i was such a good girl and did not freak them out....not too much anyways. I guess prior to their arrival i did my freaking out stuff at home and a bit on the bus (when i wasnt napping). Watching this movie meant a lot to me because first, i didn't know who i was going to watch this with. Plans were made but obviously it would not happen. It was the first big reality check for me, the first thing that terrified me. Second was i didn't know how to face the guys. It hurt. I know this would hurt them alot. I didn't/still don't know how things are going to be from now on because it was so natural to be a group of 4....not one less. I was/am scared again. Luckily for me, they were great, supportive and assured me that no matter what happens....our friendships will never change. That made me feel a little better....less scared, less alone. A spark of hope again almost. Third and lastly, i love Iron man (wished i was those iron man cheerleaders...HA) and have looked forward to watching it on opening night for over a year. i HAD to watch it.

There were many moments during the movie where my mind would wander and...i wished so hard that you were next to me. What was originally intended, what should have been natural and expected...no longer there. Moments like those feels like a sudden spike has been stabbed into me. I would then force myself to refocus on whatever that's in front of me. I know that i am being oh-so dramatic but there are some things that just terrifies me to the core and the very thought of it is just unbearable. That said though, that's another thing i must learn to suppress in the next 2 days if i am to keep my promise to many that i won't be useless next week. It would upset many...

The movie was fantastic by the way. Love the action. Love the suits. Robert Downey Jr is seriously one hot man i'd do.

OCAD Grad Art Show tomorrow with cousin. My 2nd attempt at being normal again....

Good night. lets all hope for a dreamless night.