The most important thing I realized is that painful breakups, unrequited love, shitty jobs and the like help us to BUILD CHARACTER and that no matter how bad it feels, we are much better off because of it. Sometimes you have to stand alone to make sure you can. Forget what you want to remember what you deserve.You may not end up where you thought you'd be, but you'll always end up where you were meant to be. You can either let these bad things, define you, destroy you or strengthen you. Fight through it like a warrior. Greater things are to come.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Bedtime Thoughts

Tonight i attended Hot Yoga for the first time in almost a month and a half. Sadly i did not have a very good practice. In short-

  • I forgot a full-length bath towel (used to cover the yoga mat) and only had a small face cloth therefore my mat was WET due to my sweat (Sooo yuucky. i hafta hose it down tmr in my yard or something!!!)
  • It was extra hot (or at least it felt like it) and because of that i think i might have broke my record of sweating during hot yoga. Kept on slipping because body was WET.
  • Couldn't focus. Couldn't stay strong. Very distracted by inner thoughts.
I think my goal for the next couple of sessions is to really try to refocus...and clear my mind. It's very frustrating because i've been doing this for a couple of months and i should be getting good at this, not declining in progress. I guess i shouldn't be so hard on myself given the circumstances (physically and emotionally unfit) but i really felt like crap when i left the room. I didn't even stay for the "meditation"/"rest"/"calm" period at the end because i was that disappointed. I hate being weak. Hopefully next week will be better.

Tonight also got me thinking. I mentioned this to the cousin and K already....but i feel like i have no right to whine and complain about how sad i am when there's A LOT of people who's had much worst things happen to them. I was sad today. Again. Actually i have not been happy at all (SURPRISE) and people who has seen me, can see it. But i brave on that smile and people tell me that they're proud of me for at least trying. Then i see others....who seems to just be having it worst than me/or in the same position as i. The only difference is it seems like they don't know how to handle themselves and the situation they are in. I saw what lack-of-motivation can do to a person. How a person looks when there's no more drive in their eyes. What a person would do when hope doesn't exist anymore. I didn't know what to do or say because it was just too much. I don't know how i can handle comforting someone else when i feel like i am doing a sub-mediocre job for myself. Hopefully she'll be okay. Good people doesn't deserve things like that.

That said now, so who am i to complain anymore? (This is why a potential new secret blog might be in creation. No worries friends. If i do create a "secret" blog. I'll leave clues/traces everywhere. If you know me well, you'll know where to look. Again, Still contemplating. )

On a bright note!!!!! (Can't be all boohoo sob sobsx right)  
This afternoon after my completely wasted morning (refer to my latest bitching on the go entry) i got a sudden rush of creative energy (in MONTHS) and i totally went all out & was actually able to get a portfolio website up (kind of). Yays. I actually had the link to the website up for a good 8 hours (somewhere on my blog) but decided to take it down until its closer to completion. I'm working on what i call the "Please-hire-Dorkkly/Kay" Marketing Campaign. Hopefully with the time (effort & a little bit of money) that i'll be putting into this, it will land me "that" job and "pay off". haaaa. Okay. Very lame. But in all seriousness, K thought it was very witty and original when i presented the preliminary concept and website progress up to this point. Must get more opinions in soon time.

Guess that's it. I should really get some sleep.

每一日,慢慢來. 一步一步來.



MsTran said...

i loves you.


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